#1 September 21st, 2006 02:56 AM

SCSIgirl

Member

Is Hell exothermic?

Alright,  I know the forums are for chatting,  but this just came down the wire and it's worth contemplating.

Hell explained by Chemistry Student

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is
compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need
to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which
they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many
souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in
the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member
of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of
these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we
can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they
are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the
volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature
and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell
breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my
Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,"
and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number
two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already
frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
extinct...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine
being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

---

"Apple of my Eye", "bated breath", "brave new world", "caught red-handed" - all coined by Shakespeare.

paintjam

Member

Re: Is Hell exothermic?

Alright,  I know the forums are for chatting,  but this just came down the wire and it's worth contemplating.

Hell explained by Chemistry Student

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is
compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need
to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which
they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many
souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in
the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member
of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of
these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we
can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they
are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the
volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature
and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell
breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my
Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,"
and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number
two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already
frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
extinct...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine
being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

i don't believe there is a hell unless we create one for ourselves.....;)

---

'stay beautiful'

Belgareth

Member

Re: Is Hell exothermic?

Alright,  I know the forums are for chatting,  but this just came down the wire and it's worth contemplating.

Hell explained by Chemistry Student

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is
compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need
to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which
they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many
souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in
the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member
of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of
these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we
can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they
are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the
volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature
and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell
breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my
Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,"
and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number
two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already
frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
extinct...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine
being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

What a wonderful thesis but as a mathematician, philosopher and complete cynic, I have to question the validity of his corollary.
I would suggest that the most likely explanation for him getting the girl into bed was that she chose not to let hell loose on him but to bite her tongue and get it over with, believing that it could possibly be that bad. When she discovered that it was absolute hell, her cry of "Oh my God" was a plea for help!!

---

[color="Red"]require "help.pl";[/color]

MrPicMe

Member

Re: Is Hell exothermic?

Alright,  I know the forums are for chatting,  but this just came down the wire and it's worth contemplating.

Hell explained by Chemistry Student

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is
compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need
to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which
they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many
souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in
the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member
of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of
these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we
can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they
are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the
volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature
and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell
breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my
Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,"
and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number
two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already
frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
extinct...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine
being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

...That's totally rhetorical.

CaptJackRizzo

Member

Re: Is Hell exothermic?

yeah . . . when I was in high school a teacher gave us all copies of that, only I think at the end Teresa didn't sleep with him, so hell was exothermic