Gory, Gory, What A Helluva Way To Die

catt · April 25th, 2006 10:26 PM

It's been a while since I've posted on the ISM forums. Last night, I was involved in a car -vs- bike accident...and in the split-second before my bike and I hit the car head-on at full-speed, a thought went through my head - "Please Lord, don't take my arms - I'll never be able to post on the ISM forums again. Unless, of course, they fit me with robotic arms, and that would be so cool tha...*CRASH*". Usually I prefer to finish my thoughts before cattapaulting through the air, but in this instance I had some scraping of myself off the tarmac to be doing first.

So two things - if you're ever in a car accident, don't be a Jerk and speed away from the scene of the crime. It just makes you a Jerk. Secondly, post often and post hard, for one day you may have robotic arms...and that could cause mastabatory problems should there be a malfunction in your mechanics.

xxCattxx

blissed · April 26th, 2006 12:28 AM

Hope your OK and didn't break anything, it sort of sounds like you are,
which is lucky, seeing that the other people buggered off!!

catt wrote:

one day you may have robotic arms...and that could cause mastabatory problems should there be a malfunction in your mechanics.

If you have a disability you usually get a home help to do some cooking and cleaning.
You could add masturbation to their list of duties
Me, I'd probably dry hump various pieces of furniture until I found the one I felt the most affection for

.

catt · April 26th, 2006 12:50 AM

blissed wrote:

Hope your OK and didn't break anything, it sort of sounds like you are,
which is lucky, seeing that the other people buggered off!!

I'm okay, just a few bruises and scrapes. My whole body is sore, but I was really lucky, all things considered. Good thing my arse is so well padded, eh? *S*

blissed wrote:

Me, I'd probably dry hump various pieces of furniture until I found the one I felt the most affection for

...and imagine the money you'd save on furniture polish.

xxCattxx

paintjam · April 26th, 2006 12:53 AM

catt wrote:

It's been a while since I've posted on the ISM forums. Last night, I was involved in a car -vs- bike accident...and in the split-second before my bike and I hit the car head-on at full-speed, a thought went through my head - "Please Lord, don't take my arms - I'll never be able to post on the ISM forums again. Unless, of course, they fit me with robotic arms, and that would be so cool tha...*CRASH*". Usually I prefer to finish my thoughts before cattapaulting through the air, but in this instance I had some scraping of myself off the tarmac to be doing first.
So two things - if you're ever in a car accident, don't be a Jerk and speed away from the scene of the crime. It just makes you a Jerk. Secondly, post often and post hard, for one day you may have robotic arms...and that could cause mastabatory problems should there be a malfunction in your mechanics.
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v427/Cattasha/robot_hand-softup.jpg"/>
xxCattxx

i too have flown through the air with the greatest of ease flying over a car coming at me ALMOST head on.
isnt it amazing how we remember what we were thinking of when it happens?
in my case it was 'i hope i can still make it to blimpy's to get this free sub' teehee
i was in college and you know, free meals are nice not to miss.....;)

i hope you are ok and are licking your wounds and healing nicely.

http://www.petplace.com/cats/why-cats-l … page1.aspx

i am a cat in the chinese zodiac and have always been able to land on all fours???

healing luv vibes on the way

jamie

aly_cat · April 26th, 2006 12:43 PM

blissed wrote:

If you have a disability you usually get a home help to do some cooking and cleaning.
.

It's true, I knew a woman who was in a car crash and did lose the use of everything but basic hand and arm movement about ten years ago and she had a helper come in everyday to feed her and shower her and take her for drives, it sounds like the perfect life for a lazy person! But she amazed me she was an architect, owned her own appartment in the city would go out on her own and function just fine, real inspiration story. End of mush .

dmbhead · April 26th, 2006 01:27 PM

Glad you're okay! Robotic Catt might be cool for a bit, but all that glitters is probably just leaking oil. Damn it Bush! I am glad you're okay Catt! That's why we need you around here = you take a fairly serious topic and turn it into something we can all laugh at.

shannon · April 26th, 2006 02:08 PM

catt wrote:

It's been a while since I've posted on the ISM forums. Last night, I was involved in a car -vs- bike accident...and in the split-second before my bike and I hit the car head-on at full-speed, a thought went through my head - "Please Lord, don't take my arms - I'll never be able to post on the ISM forums again. Unless, of course, they fit me with robotic arms, and that would be so cool tha...*CRASH*". Usually I prefer to finish my thoughts before cattapaulting through the air, but in this instance I had some scraping of myself off the tarmac to be doing first.
So two things - if you're ever in a car accident, don't be a Jerk and speed away from the scene of the crime. It just makes you a Jerk. Secondly, post often and post hard, for one day you may have robotic arms...and that could cause mastabatory problems should there be a malfunction in your mechanics.

xxCattxx

OH MY GOD, how fantastic would it be to have robot parts? I'm so looking forward to the day when i can upgrade my features in the manner of jaime sommers. Her hair technology alone is obviously extremely advanced.

Oh yeah and I hope you are feeling ok / not dead etc etc.

catt · April 26th, 2006 03:06 PM

paintjam wrote:

in my case it was 'i hope i can still make it to blimpy's to get this free sub' teehee
i was in college and you know, free meals are nice not to miss.....;)

This had me lol'ing! You're right - when a car gets between and student and her free sub, the car will always come out of it worse off...

paintjam wrote:

i hope you are ok and are licking your wounds and healing nicely.

I am - just walking around like a bit of a zombie today, and trying not to get too cranky at the world.

paintjam wrote:

i am a cat in the chinese zodiac and have always been able to land on all fours???
healing luv vibes on the way
jamie

I'm a Dragon - so by that theory, I should have been able to set the car alight as it hightailed into the distance, and then perhaps even burninated the countryside in my rage

I loved the link - I found the mechanics of the reason for a cat landing on all fours to be really interesting, actually! So thank you for this, and for your well wishes.

xxCattxx

catt · April 26th, 2006 03:11 PM

aly_cat wrote:

It's true, I knew a woman who was in a car crash and did lose the use of everything but basic hand and arm movement about ten years ago and she had a helper come in everyday to feed her and shower her and take her for drives, it sounds like the perfect life for a lazy person! But she amazed me she was an architect, owned her own appartment in the city would go out on her own and function just fine, real inspiration story. End of mush .

Not mush - some people show remarkable courage and determination after going through a terrible accident. My case wasn't nearly as severe - I was really lucky...it could have been much worse.

The human body is such an incredible thing, too - people have been known to get up and walk around after being shot in the head, whereas there have been cases of people dying instantly over an injury as insignificant as stubbing a toe (died of 'shock').

xxCattxx

catt · April 26th, 2006 03:13 PM

dmbhead wrote:

Glad you're okay! Robotic Catt might be cool for a bit, but all that glitters is probably just leaking oil. Damn it Bush! I am glad you're okay Catt! That's why we need you around here = you take a fairly serious topic and turn it into something we can all laugh at.

Thanks hon, I am. And if I can't hold my often cringeworthy life up for the amusement of others, I at least consider it amusement for myself *S*

xxCattxx

catt · April 26th, 2006 03:15 PM

shannon wrote:

OH MY GOD, how fantastic would it be to have robot parts? I'm so looking forward to the day when i can upgrade my features in the manner of jaime sommers. Her hair technology alone is obviously extremely advanced.
Oh yeah and I hope you are feeling ok / not dead etc etc.

The only thing actually stopping you from taking over the world is that you're made of meat - not metal. Heaven help us all if you become physically indestructable as well...

*going to pick up some flares and hair bleach on the way home*

xxCattxx

shannon · April 26th, 2006 03:53 PM

catt wrote:

The only thing actually stopping you from taking over the world is that you're made of meat - not metal. Heaven help us all if you become physically indestructable as well...
*going to pick up some flares and hair bleach on the way home*
xxCattxx

*mental notes

- catt is <i>against</i> my benevolent dictatorship and ought be dealt with accordingly when my reign begins.

- buy cheese

catt · April 26th, 2006 04:20 PM

shannon wrote:

*mental notes
- catt is <i>against</i> my benevolent dictatorship and ought be dealt with accordingly when my reign begins.
- buy cheese

You'll never get me when I'm wearing my cheese helmet.

FOILED!

xxCattxx

shannon · April 26th, 2006 05:02 PM

catt wrote:

You'll never get me when I'm wearing my cheese helmet.

FOILED!
xxCattxx

It's too soon to begin your exclaimation point fueled dance of inpending victory.
I believe i have found the key to your inevitable defeat ... cheese UNDERWEAR.

paintjam · April 26th, 2006 08:44 PM

catt wrote:

This had me lol'ing! You're right - when a car gets between and student and her free sub, the car will always come out of it worse off...

I am - just walking around like a bit of a zombie today, and trying not to get too cranky at the world.

I'm a Dragon - so by that theory, I should have been able to set the car alight as it hightailed into the distance, and then perhaps even burninated the countryside in my rage
I loved the link - I found the mechanics of the reason for a cat landing on all fours to be really interesting, actually! So thank you for this, and for your well wishes.
xxCattxx

btw i did get the sub teehee

i am happy to hear you are up and about.

smoochies
jamie

catt · April 26th, 2006 09:41 PM

shannon wrote:

It's too soon to begin your exclaimation point fueled dance of inpending victory.
I believe i have found the key to your inevitable defeat ... cheese UNDERWEAR.
<img src="http://www.sugarcut.com/images/random/cheese.jpg"/>

Your Google-fu is strong...but can your cheese underwear withstand the propaganda-fuelled catt-adulating-hysteria overwhelming my millions-strong GIANT RAT army?

...okay, so this is only one of them, and he's a baby, but I swear I have more. In the stronghold.

MrPicMe · April 26th, 2006 10:40 PM

...but why were you biking against traffic?!

It's ALWAYS better to be biking with the flow of traffic.

jackscratch · April 27th, 2006 09:03 AM

Hey Catt,

First, glad to hear you're only a bit frayed and slightly bruised, this site wouldn't be the same without ya...scarey stuff. Secondly, hilarious postings - now I know what to wear for next Halloween. Third...I was hit by a car years ago - playing soccer in the street (ok, so it's not one of the brighter things I've done in my life) - seriously fractured my skull, tore up my shoulder, etc. Despite all the nasty recuperation, therapies, etc. it literally changed my life, for the better. I still look at each day as something new and precious...when it's your time it can all change in a fraction of a second and then it's all over and you're on to whatevers next. So, enjoy what you've got while you have it...we don't miss the water til the well runs dry. Go kiss your lover, look yourself in the mirror and say "yo, made it another day". Take care of yourself, Catt.

catt · April 27th, 2006 10:09 AM

paintjam wrote:

btw i did get the sub teehee

I hope they gave you extra sauce.

xxCattxx

catt · April 27th, 2006 10:29 AM

MrPicMe wrote:

...but why were you biking against traffic?!
It's ALWAYS better to be biking with the flow of traffic.

Ever seen Death Race 2000? That's what Australian traffic is like. 20 points for pregnant women, all that...?

In actuality, I wasn't biking against traffic - I was riding through a green light, and a car coming the other way sped up and turned in front of me. So I hit her head on to the side of her car. But meat met metal, I didn't pee my knickers, and came out alright in the end.

xxCattxx

catt · April 27th, 2006 10:34 AM

jackscratch wrote:

Hey Catt,
First, glad to hear you're only a bit frayed and slightly bruised, this site wouldn't be the same without ya...scarey stuff. Secondly, hilarious postings - now I know what to wear for next Halloween. Third...I was hit by a car years ago - playing soccer in the street (ok, so it's not one of the brighter things I've done in my life) - seriously fractured my skull, tore up my shoulder, etc. Despite all the nasty recuperation, therapies, etc. it literally changed my life, for the better. I still look at each day as something new and precious...when it's your time it can all change in a fraction of a second and then it's all over and you're on to whatevers next. So, enjoy what you've got while you have it...we don't miss the water til the well runs dry. Go kiss your lover, look yourself in the mirror and say "yo, made it another day". Take care of yourself, Catt.

You're very sweet, on both counts *S*.

And as for your accident - ouuuch. You can't be that old from my suppositions, which makes your attitude (towards this, and in general - from previous posts) quite remarkable.

xxCattxx

paintjam · April 27th, 2006 10:36 AM

catt wrote:

I hope they gave you extra sauce.
xxCattxx

even though my palms were a bit scraped and my leg on the side it was a fab sub
haaaaaaaaaaaaa!

hope you are feeling even better today.

luv
jamie

paintjam · April 27th, 2006 10:37 AM

MrPicMe wrote:

...but why were you biking against traffic?!
It's ALWAYS better to be biking with the flow of traffic.

yes it is indeed, for sure.

mrpicme, your avatar slays me.
you look so happy in it.

hugz
jamie

SCSIgirl · April 27th, 2006 03:56 PM

catt wrote:

This had me lol'ing! You're right - when a car gets between and student and her free sub, the car will always come out of it worse off...
xxCattxx

Gee, that reminds me of a backstage incident. (You have to understand that I am pretty oblivious to stardom. I have no idea what most of the talents look like. Jimmy Buffett sat down next to me at lunch and chatted and bantered and I didn't know that who happy guy next to me was. Mariah Carey tripped when walking by and I almost grabbed a tit trying to catch her. It was only later when someone would say to me: "You know who that was, don't you???" that I would find out what the talent looked like.)

Well back to this story, as related to students and free food. It was morning break and there was no real food line. A couple of us stagehands were gathered around the service table when a woman cut me off to grab a banana from the bowl. She realized what she had done and said, "Opps. Sorry". I responded that she had stepped between a stagehand and a donut. That was a very risky move. She responded (with wide eyes and an understanding of her peril) that it was a dangerous move and she would be more careful in the future. We both grined at the joke and she left the room.

I was immediately informed by at least 4 co-workers that the woman was the show's talent, Melissa Etheridge. I now understand, but I will still warn anyone that stepping between a stagehand and his donut could have the most undesireable results.

paintjam · April 27th, 2006 09:20 PM

SCSIgirl wrote:

Gee, that reminds me of a backstage incident. (You have to understand that I am pretty oblivious to stardom. I have no idea what most of the talents look like. Jimmy Buffett sat down next to me at lunch and chatted and bantered and I didn't know that who happy guy next to me was. Mariah Carey tripped when walking by and I almost grabbed a tit trying to catch her. It was only later when someone would say to me: "You know who that was, don't you???" that I would find out what the talent looked like.)
Well back to this story, as related to students and free food. It was morning break and there was no real food line. A couple of us stagehands were gathered around the service table when a woman cut me off to grab a banana from the bowl. She realized what she had done and said, "Opps. Sorry". I responded that she had stepped between a stagehand and a donut. That was a very risky move. She responded (with wide eyes and an understanding of her peril) that it was a dangerous move and she would be more careful in the future. We both grined at the joke and she left the room.
I was immediately informed by at least 4 co-workers that the woman was the show's talent, Melissa Etheridge. I now understand, but I will still warn anyone that stepping between a stagehand and his donut could have the most undesireable results.

heeheehee
and they usually have such marvy looking food backstage don't they.

hugz
jamie

#1 April 25th, 2006 10:26 PM

Gory, Gory, What A Helluva Way To Die

#2 April 26th, 2006 12:28 AM

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