#1 December 20th, 2005 05:33 AM

blissed

Member

Same sex marraiges

If it hasn't reached you it will. It's something that's rolling out all round the world and now same sex marraiges  are legal in the UK. I think it's brilliant, and something I'm celebrating.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/northern_ireland/4540226.stm

wantingscott

Member

Re: Same sex marraiges

i could see myself living a VERY happy life with the creative director i used to work with. we were the same size, had the same sense of fashion, liked the same movies. he looked great naked. he said to me once "if i was gay, i'd be all over your shit"  "me, too, brother." i replied.  i always wanted to kiss him.

the part that i don't understand is: what determines top or bottom? or do couples switch?  i mean, my friend Tom brags that he's a "power bottom", so does that mean that's the only way he takes it? and yet, his boyfriend is the stay-at-home who cooks & cleans. that to me is the confusing part. what determines the physical rol,es, and are they mutable?

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that's the way it goes. but don't forget, it goes the other way too.

blissed

Member

Re: Same sex marraiges

Because I've had a few gay friends and been celibate for a while, a few people think I'm gay. I don't really mind, because it's not an insult, it's just a mistake.     However when you ask a guy who's gay a straight question like you've just asked, they won't tell you. I naively thought I could ask those sorts of questions on the internet, but you get the same reaction.

I even joined a lesbian forum upfront as a man and asked some straight questions and got quite a nice refusal, they weren't rude. But I have got a deficit of common sense and the answer was just staring me in the face. You just read the gay forums and the answers unfold as you read. When any 2 people are together there's always one person who's more dominant than the other and that seems to be what plays itself out in sex, rather than consciously assuming roles like the "man" or the "wife".

I'm just glad that now  gay couples are legally respected. Prior to this if your partner was seriously ill, the hospital wouldn't keep you informed because you weren't  next of kin, and when your partner died, you would have to sell the family home because you'd have to pay death duty (a UK tax) on your partners share. So there's all sorts of unnecessary agony that's now thankfully in the past.

mikhaill

Member

Re: Same sex marraiges

when you ask a guy who's gay a straight question

I've sometimes wondered about the sexual orientation of some of my questions.

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Witty one-liner encapsulating powerful insight.

blissed

Member

Re: Same sex marraiges

I could always try asking a straight guy a gay question,

and see what happens

wantingscott

Member

Re: Same sex marraiges

ever see the movie "Cabin Fever"? (a solid B new-classic)

"i'm gonna shoot some squirrels"
"why!?!
"cos i'm bored and sqirrels are gay. actually, i don't care if they're straight, i'm gonna shoot some"

actually, the guys i work with now all ask "gay" questions. i guess it's part of the territory, we gather around the coffee machine and talk about how much we like each others clothes and hair. "oooh, thos sunglasses are PERFECT for you" is often uttered by me.

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_________________________________________________
that's the way it goes. but don't forget, it goes the other way too.

Markk02474

Member

Re: Same sex marraiges

actually, the guys i work with now all ask "gay" questions. i guess it's part of the territory, we gather around the coffee machine and talk about how much we like each others clothes and hair. "oooh, thos sunglasses are PERFECT for you" is often uttered by me.

That's a rare and fun thing in a work situation. A friend of mine took it as a compliment on his attire when guys would check him out. I used to work in a publishing software company where my group of 4 was a straight, cute, blond, British guy, a gay American, a gay Frenchman, and me who provided dish on confusing sexual vibes with a lesbian and the married customer who called me nearly every day. Oh, and we worked for a cute, young lesbian who was dating two women and one man at one point. After working there, they told me they first thought I was gay as in "Why are all the job candidates queer?"

I just learned gaydar and passing for gay from going so often to women's bars with friends. I must have switched to sissy mode sub-consciously when the interviewer was gay. Its just an automatic rapport builder like body language mirroring.

A man faking gay is great with women. First, the rape fear vaporizes. Second, they will share intimate details and stories they wouldn't if they thought you were straight. Third, "Honey, you've got great boobs!" won't get you slapped.

---------------------------
Jay Lenno:" Elton John's bachelor party is the only one Hillary [Clinton] would let Bill go to."

Cristians are still working to get a gay marriage ban on the 2008 voting ballot here in Massachusetts. When I've been asked to sign the petition and told voters should decide important issues, I nod affirmatively and say it was wrong for Florida and the Supreme courts to have elected Bush in 2000. They don't know how to respond after that.

Oh, and code for black is "people" and gay is "family" as in "Is he/she ... ?"

Congrats to the Brit benders!

aussielarrikin

Member

Re: Same sex marraiges

I have only two requirements of people I am friends with,

1/  They are honest to myself and my wife

2/ They are honest to themselves..... They need to be themselves....... No Matter What....

I have one very close friend whom I have worked with at three different
companies now, we consider each other as family and I have known for sure
eight of the ten years we have been friends that he was gay, yet he only
felt comfortable "coming out" to my wife and I a year ago....

People have a right to be who they are, and they have a right to be happy
in themselves as an individual or couple...whatever they want to do...

So long as they respect me for who I am I will always reciprocate the respect in turn..

It is only fair .....

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"I have a friend in Rome called Biggus Dickus"

jdudley76

Member

Re: Same sex marraiges

Kudos to England. I wish people were as enlightened here in the States.

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"This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating."   - George W. Bush, as quoted by the New York Daily News, April 23, 2002

Markk02474

Member

Re: Same sex marraiges

Kudos to England. I wish people were as enlightened here in the States.

AHEM, Massachusetts has gay marriage, and I went to one in Sept.. MA didn't go for any of the Bush's, Nixon, or that other CA actor/politician - Reagan. We've had Republican govenors, but only when they were less evil than the Democrat.

The problem here isn't ignorance or lack of enlightenment, its stupid religious people - they miss the bit about love, acceptance, and forgiveness.

jdudley76

Member

Re: Same sex marraiges

Godd point. For some reason I was under the mistaken impression that gay marrage had been overturned in Massachusetts. I guess that was just San Francisco.

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"This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating."   - George W. Bush, as quoted by the New York Daily News, April 23, 2002

roxxie

Member

Re: Same sex marraiges

Godd point. For some reason I was under the mistaken impression that gay marrage had been overturned in Massachusetts. I guess that was just San Francisco.

The San Francisco marriage deal is still in the courts! It hasn't quite been overturned yet.

Honestly though, I don't believe in marriage and I enjoy being a domestic partner.

gtrvox

Member

Re: Same sex marraiges

If it hasn't reached you it will. It's something that's rolling out all round the world and now same sex marraiges  are legal in the UK. I think it's brilliant, and something I'm celebrating.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/northern_ireland/4540226.stm

Old hat! Check this out:
Go, girl!

GTR

alisha_x

Member

Re: Same sex marraiges

Hi, Ive just joined ISM and first off its great to see such important issues are being so openly discussed here.

As a bi-sexual over here in the UK same sex marriages are now legal but none of my gay friends have married yet as there is still a lot of hatred about the place.

Even seeing same sex couples holding hands in public is rare is my area (Surrey, a mix of yobs and the opinionated upper classes). Since the idea of lesbians being a turn on for the yobs, us girls are fine being openly a couple but its still early days and I have known men (work collegues I no longer speak to) who openly show off having beaten up gay/tranvestite men for fun.

Im hoping things will get better and eventually it will just become the norm over here, Id love to be living in a time when people dont look at me funny and ignore me when I keep correcting them for refering to my other half as a 'he'....

Anyway, thats my rant over,

Alisha_x

Xxx

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Kisses,

Alisha

Xxx

http://www.alishax.com

SCSIgirl

Member

Re: Same sex marraiges

Hi, Ive just joined ISM and first off its great to see such important issues are being so openly discussed here.

As a bi-sexual over here in the UK same sex marriages are now legal but none of my gay friends have married yet as there is still a lot of hatred about the place.

Even seeing same sex couples holding hands in public is rare is my area (Surrey, a mix of yobs and the opinionated upper classes). Since the idea of lesbians being a turn on for the yobs, us girls are fine being openly a couple but its still early days and I have known men (work collegues I no longer speak to) who openly show off having beaten up gay/tranvestite men for fun.

Im hoping things will get better and eventually it will just become the norm over here, Id love to be living in a time when people dont look at me funny and ignore me when I keep correcting them for refering to my other half as a 'he'....

Anyway, thats my rant over,

Alisha_x

Xxx

HIya, Lady, welcome aboard.  Yea,  we're a weird bunch,  but we love it.

Gay bashing is something we don't get much of in my town.....  in fact I can't think of a single local news item in the past 10 years or so.  Of course, Santa Cruz is the self-proclaimed lesbian capitol of the west coast,  (as headlined on the front page of the local paper) and there is a lot of government and law enforcement influence here.  (The town's motto is "Keep Santa Cruz Weird").  So from my enviroment,  it's hard to understand why being gay is such a problem elsewhere in the world.

Glad to see you in the forums.  Hope you stay.

BTW - I'm a straight guy,  so don't let the moniker lead you astray........  it's a long story.

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"Apple of my Eye", "bated breath", "brave new world", "caught red-handed" - all coined by Shakespeare.

blissed

Member

Re: Same sex marraiges

Hi Alisha
Sorry to hear things are a bit uncomfortable in Surrey. Be nice to find a way to express your affection publicly. If your into them, I'm told by someone in Texas that all women coach parties are good for that. You've got strength  in numbers, and everyone's descending on a place where nobody knows you. I think things are a little bit better here in Bath, and most of the west country. Most adults seem to say "what ever floats your boat" I haven't seen any local gay bashing headlines here either.  If you ring the cops about your work colleagues, I think your claim is placed in an unsubstantiated part of the hate crimes database. That's the thing. You see now there's a legal framework from hate crime to marraige, I think proper acceptance is guaranteed, It's just the length of time it takes thats uncertain.

Anyway, hope you like writing on the boards and I like your website, it's good.

dmbhead

Member

Re: Same sex marraiges

For those of us in the states, have you noticed women couples are generally more accepted than men couples? If they're accepted at all of course. The hairy Bush administration set our country back quite a few years in this area unfortunately. Well, just about every other aspect of life as well. It'll probably take a generation or two dying off before it's accepted under federal law here, which is very sad.

I live in the south, just over an hour out of Atlanta, and a "ministry" recently posted on several billboards the following message:

"Are you gay or lesbian and don't want to be? There's HOPE for change."

In my opinion, that's just tacky and uncalled for. It nearly sparked a riot, and with good reason. And while it caused an uproar for a day, it's faded just as fast. The billboards are still up and the minister plans more of the same. Here's a link to the story if you guys care to read it.

http://www.wyff4.com/news/6022402/detail.html

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What the duece?

blissed

Member

Re: Same sex marraiges

The ministry of truth? sounds a bit 1984
Don't come to me unless your seeking advice, for behold, I am the oracle of truth
I think I'll adapt your moniker to "dumbhead" and stamp it on their forehead.
I don't like the way the opposition feel they have to persuade the christian right with this "it's the way god made them they haven't got a choice"  stuff. I'd be inclined to say to the omnipotent ministry of truth
"If your bi you have a choice, and so what if some choose the same sex, how is that hurting you."

dmbhead

Member

Re: Same sex marraiges

I think I'll adapt your moniker to "dumbhead" and stamp it on their forehead.

Dumbhead would be understating it, but I won't get into calling the man names. He's just an ignorant fool! Oops, couldn't help myself.

I guess he has a right to his opinion, but the money he used for these billboards would have been better spent sprucing up a park, feeding the homeless, maybe having his brain examined???

The pathetic part of this, in the States, is the lack of seperation of church and state on this issue, and many others. Per our constitution, we're entitled that seperation. The church doesn't want this and the law is upholding their wishes by allowing the laws to be written per the bible; ie only men and women can marry one another. But then again, our currency has "In God We Trust" stamped on it. Damn, I can't blame Bush for that one...

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What the duece?

blissed

Member

Re: Same sex marraiges

dmbhead, after watching the video on your link page, I've sent the ministry of truth an email.
"I see Christianity as bible dependancy, you can compare it to overcoming drug dependancy or alchaholism. just because I exepted  the truth in my life, didn't make christianity leave me. I had to leave it. I'm offering the hand of friendship, I will help you to be free to think for yourself."
It won't do any good, but I can't see why they shouldn't get a little bit of spam for this

miguel_juan

Member

Re: Same sex marraiges

Our First Amendment in the USA Bill of Rights:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

The establisment of religion is what i would like to focus on. But a a question first. Is marriage a religious insitution?  i find it VERY dificult to argue that is isnt.  Its a sacrament of the catholic church for one im almost sure. and though i'm not postive it would seem that every other kind of marriage has a basis in religious ceremony.   My point is this, and one that ive never heard someone bring up. IF marriage is a religous intsitution, what business does the governemnt have in recognising ANY marriage?  By supporting, taxing, and recognising the the typical heterosexual religios marrige isnt the governemnt in a sense 'establising' and also prohibtiing the free exerisise of those who belive gay marriage is their right?

dmbhead

Member

Re: Same sex marraiges

dmbhead, after watching the video on your link page, I've sent the ministry of truth an email.
"I see Christianity as bible dependancy, you can compare it to overcoming drug dependancy or alchaholism. just because I exepted  the truth in my life, didn't make christianity leave me. I had to leave it. I'm offering the hand of friendship, I will help you to be free to think for yourself."
It won't do any good, but I can't see why they shouldn't get a little bit of spam for this

Sweet!!! He did nothing but make an ass of himself in that clip.

miguel_juan - I couldn't agree more. The first step in getting married is obtaining a marriage license from the government, and it goes on down the line from taxation brackets, etc... you get the idea. So as you said, by recognizing a heterosexual union, and prohibiting a homosexual union, they are indeed governing by religion. The saddest part, that's only one of many examples where the government doesn't uphold the constitution. Can't sue them though, we'll get locked away in some unknown torture camp...

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What the duece?

cynicism

Member

Re: Same sex marraiges

There's a rather funny film called "It's in the Water" that features a priest trying to "help" gay men be not gay. Turns out the priest is into something kinky of his own.

Never sure how a supposedly-celibate priest (who is supposed to be suppressing his libido) can provide any useful advice on matters sexual. Well, other than "I can't do it, so you mustn't" :-)