#26 January 4th, 2006 07:57 PM

jdudley76

Member

Re: How can we tell you we lust after you?

Wow, that's so wonderful and so sad at the same time.

---

"This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating."   - George W. Bush, as quoted by the New York Daily News, April 23, 2002

pia

Member

Re: How can we tell you we lust after you?

First of all, not to bust your bubble about what the viewers are thinking or saying, I think there may be more raunchy comments than meet the eye- I believe the comments the ISM folks find potentially offensive are regularly zapped. Is this not true?

Second, I again applaud your openness to free but expression by the viewers "as long as it isn't derogatory or insulting or demeaning "... but I think you may have sort of exposed what I think is the problem when after issuing that invitation you realized, "oh hahaha you don't know what we consider to be insulting or demeaning?" and then resolved it for yourself with, "Well I think the volition behind the comment is usualy evident so if you mean well by a comment it will hopefuly come across that way". The whole problem is that women are usually using THEIR values and THEIR female perception to make the judgement regarding the volition and intention behind men's comments. 

What I'm saying is that it is very often the case that what men say is MISINTERPRETED by women, especially when it falls into that gray area where our values and perceptions are so different, in ways which are cultural, social, biological and biochemical. You THINK you know what we meant, and you definitely know how it FELT, and you understandably react as though your interpretation was accurate. But if it was not, the true communication has never been completed, you feel insulted and degraded, he feels misunderstood and attacked, and the age-old gap is widened.

Guys often say sexual things about women which shock and disgust ME. Sometimes they are no doubt being cruel or thoughtless or degrading. But often, I think they're just letting what's really there out, unedited and untranslated for the female sensibility, and that what they intend as a heady compliment comes off as degrading. 

An example of this is that the kind of comments I was talking about making when I initiated this thread were definitely things which might be offensive to some of the artists- telling them how their pictures make me feel, ie that I would like to kiss them and taste them and smell their skin and lick their nipples etc... things I might whisper to a woman to whom I was making love in the hope of pleasing and stimulating her. It never occurred to me to tell the artists that I jerk off when I look at their pictures, or that I would like to jerk of ONTO their pictures etc. which other respondents mentioned and which both sound pretty rude to me. But even so, I can understand how a guy could have these thoughts and actually percieve them as a complimentary to an artist.

I think women have NO IDEA what really goes on in our heads, and we're NOT AUTOMATICALLY EVIL just because sleaze and sex and fucking is churning around in there most of the time. We're WIRED that way. We're MADE that way. It isn't a choice. We have a pretty good idea what you want us to say and what you want to believe we're thinking, and, since it is in our best interest to please you, we edit edit edit and translate translate translate. Not just us ISM guys... Not just porn addicts... ALL guys. Yes, your boyfriends and husbands and fathers and little brothers too (Gay guys too... only their objects are other guys. Think of the difference between the gay and lesbian cultures... In general, gay men are WIRED for sleaze but struggle to keep it under control, and lesbians just aren't).  Try as we might, there are times, when our feelings and our desires get the best of us, or when we believe we have a more intimate relationship than we actually have, that we will "let it out" as it is, untranslated and unedited, and we seem like vulgar bastards. I know that's hard to get, and that women really don't want to believe it about men, but I think it's pretty true.

We (men) can and should try our level best to respect your feelings and sensibilities and at least meet you half way as often as we can (especially if we want to get laid), but I really think that there can be more than one valid view simultaneously, and as long as women judge men's perceptions as "wrong" rather than "different", the communication gap will remain wide.   

What I'm looking for is some common ground, a way for us to say things which feels true to us, but is not offensive to you.

PS I believe that you (Pia) were leaning towards artistic expression and not sexual stimulation in your folios and videos. They are beautiful, and you are beautiful, and it is clear to me that you were trying to create and share beautiful images. You were trying to please us and share yourself openly with us, but you weren't trying to whip us up into a frenzy. Yours do not call for dirty words and heavy breathing. Clearly some ISM artists are into the human form and sublime imagery, denying any sexual undercurrent in their work. I think this is a bit idealistic for the ISM site. Some are into pure, raw sexuality. I think this is a bit out of the ISM mainstream. Most, I think it is fair to say, fall somewhere inbetween. Some artists are more clinically sexual, or are interested in exploring their sexuality in a fun and open way but without being super stimulating (ie Liandra Dahl's fantastic "heat" vids). But some pull together both the artistic and the sexual in a way that makes it hard for me to stay in the artistic frame of mind. An example of a couple of artists who are beautiful and produce beautiful images, but whose sexuality transcends pure art and moves into erotocism (deliberately, I like to hope) are Soroya, Gigi, Dawn, and my personal favorite, Laetitia.

First of all, don't worry about popping my bubble because I am pretty sure that I DO have a fairly acurate idea about the type of thing that go's on inside your (Mens) heads. Thats not to say I understand it all .. but I'm not going to be shocked by it. And ok maybe I was wrong .. I guess on the internet the volition behind the words someone writes is a lot less evident then it is in real life if they say them. I am curious to know if you personaly have ever had comments zapped and if you have, what were they?

When I sugested that you say what you feel, unless it is derogatary or insulting or demeaning  .. I meant unless it is obviously those things .. for example if you tell an artist that her appearance isn't attractive due to certain features or say something violent .. but if you say 'I want to lick your pussy' (which, judging from what you have written here seems to be more along the lines of what you would say) then that wouldn't be likely to be taken as an insult, as it is obviously a compliment even if it's not the type of comment the artist would prefer or even like to receive. Perhaps if all the sponsors started posting only fucking, licking and slapping comments I would think differently about this issue .. but there seem to be plenty of sponsors here at ISM that are as equaly interested in the artistic merit of the images and leave comments about this aspect of the folios .. so I'm not too worried about it and I am still sticking to what I wrote in my first post on this thread which is .. ahh if you don't remember go and read it again

gala

Member

Re: How can we tell you we lust after you?

this is a fantastic thread.  i appreciate that people are willing to broach these issues.  it's also nice to see some realistic comments about the nature of the site and what's going on there and what it offers.  that blur between art and porn is part of its appeal, and we shouldn't all just act artsy-fartsy and politically correct about it. 

i agree with pia about comments - if you are submitting erotic photos of yourself to a website for money, you have to be completely clueless not to expect that they will be used for others' masturbatory purposes, at least part of the time.  and you should deal with it when they make comments that address the erotic end of it.  but i think expressions of lust should be considered and written carefully, perhaps more so than on a mainstream site, because part of the allure of submitting to ism is the empowered environment it creates.  i think sponsors should try to keep with that principle when making comments.

but there seems to be a lot of discussion about communication disparities between genders, where what looks degrading or filthy is actually not, but becomes so in the process of communicating it.  i think that gender inequality creates experiences in which the same comment or action can look harmless, well-intended, and flattering to someone of one gender and threatening or invasive to another.  it is difficult to bridge this gap while that inequality exists and while people are socialized to those vastly different experiences. 

personally, i can offer this: i didn't submit to ism because i wanted to drive the men wild.  i attempted to submit photos that wouldn't make people vomit, but apart from that, i wasn't practicing a calculated craft where "i knew what i was doing" and had a specific aim, artistic or otherwise.  i saw it more as an offering up of my self and my body image, that others could choose what to do with.  after the photos were submitted, i felt that i no longer had control over their audience or what was done with them, and left that to whoever viewed the folio.  if someone jerks off to my photos, fine.  they paid for it.  jerk away.  i would expect to have the same privileges if i paid for it.  if they develop an elaborate fantasy in which i am bound and gagged and painted orange and forced to eat chocolate ice cream off the floor, that's their business and i am not offended.  they are fantasizing about my virtual self, which is a very small sliver of my actual self, and i gave that to them in exchange for $120 and an opportunity to do something i thought was useful for me and my sexual politics.  if they tell me about that fantasy, whether the expression is tasteful or crude, i will not be affected by it, because it's not something they will ever be able to act out with me and they are, as i said, dealing only with my photographic virtual self. 

as far as i am concerned, the ultimate sexual manifestation of my folio was mine: what you saw was a few moments of a 2-hour masturbation session that ended with a rockin orgasm.  i didn't expect it to be that way, i just got stoned and started the shoot and ended up coming all over the place.  awesome.  it was occasionally raunchy and explicit, because that's what my selfsex is like.  so, although others may experience incapacitating arousal upon viewing it (which has not been confirmed), i remain convinced that i was the most turned on by my shoot.  that doesn't mean that i think it's very "good" or "artistic," but just that it's me in a state of intense arousal, which i think is just great. 

xo

blissed

Member

Re: How can we tell you we lust after you?

Actually I just checked and nobody has ever posted a crude comment on any of my folios .. the closest thing to a crude comment was 'folio could use a rectum shot' and that's not even crude is it .. although I didn't really like that comment for some reason .. I think because he was telling me what my folio could do with instead of just saying what he would like to see .. but I wasn't offended just mildly and briefly irritated. I guess my photographs are not very explicate and so dont make people want to post crude comments .. or maybe none of the girls have crude comments posted on their folios and all the ISM Voyeurs are polite and well spoken or maybe they are too scared to say crude things incase they offend someone .. anyway I dont care .. as much as I agree with you LeoBloom and would hate to see the sub-porn obscenity .. Guys just write what you feel as long as it isn't derogatory or insulting or demeaning .. oh hahaha you don't know what we consider to be insulting or demeaning? Well I think the volition behind the comment is usualy evident so if you mean well by a comment it will hopefuly come across that way.

The comments on the folios are edited by  the ISM staff.
I remember leaving comments on shard and you actually thanked me as part of a PM.
But one of the lines was censored out about 20 mins after I wrote it,

Here's the comment again. I've put the line that was cut out in brackets

"Hey, good enough for album covers 35 and 96. 107 is good too. (as for 015, carefull, you could  knock somebody's eye out with those ) I didn't think much of 104 until I clicked on it, and it came up big. It's close enough to breath on, but you can't, so it's best not to look at it at all. and 40? some panties just look best hanging round your knees. That's really good. I think 35, 96, 104 and 107 are definitely gallery/ print for sale material."

It didn't seem that bad, but I don't really mind having it censored.
I think it's better for the reputation of the site if they reduce the risk of people being upset when reading their comments.
If people are interested enough, they can get into the forum, and discuss anything they want in depth.
BTW, be nice if you could do another folio in the summer break.

.

wantingscott

Member

Re: How can we tell you we lust after you?

now in my business, we all meet at the coffeepot casually. plus i'm married. of course there's plenty of inter-gender lust, especially in the early-morning precaffinated haze. i've caught on to the subtely. "would you like me to leave the milk out for you" followed by a wink and a smile we all know around here means "you look great today".  single guys could carry it further, but i take in the small things. i hold a door for someone (male or female) and our eyes meet a fractional too long. the little moments propel me.

it's a good business. i'd say at least 85% of the office inhabitants are in the top percentiles for grace and physical interest. men and women, old and young. in the way they walk and speak. alot of flirting goes on with the offering of "i brought in Krispy Kremes today. Scott i have your favourite..."

the small indicators and reflections are the sweetest to me.

Scott

---

_________________________________________________
that's the way it goes. but don't forget, it goes the other way too.

LeoBloom

Member

Re: How can we tell you we lust after you?

I've just noticed that a comment of mine has been edited. I originally praised 'the meatiness of your primary and secondary sexual characteristics' in one set, because both nipples and vaginal lips were invitingly substantial. Now she is praised simply for 'your primary and secondary sexual characteristics'. Anyone see anything offensive there?

blissed

Member

Re: How can we tell you we lust after you?

One thing I've learnt in the short time I've been posting on the internet is. Your not free to say whatever you like. Part of me likes Ali G type irony, but unless your using a cam, you haven't got any way of communicating that properly, and so people have to know you well,  or your comments just make you look like a prick yourself
And I think the same is true of sexual comments. If you make a "coarse" comment to someone, who doesn't know you. even on a pornsite. They may take you for someone who's sexually aggressive and be offended.
Getting to know someone and then making your feelings known, I don't think is that much of a hardship. Though nobodies perfect, and your going to cock up from time to time, everybody does.

eGomer

Member

Re: How can we tell you we lust after you?

First of all, don't worry about popping my bubble because I am pretty sure that I DO have a fairly acurate idea about the type of thing that go's on inside your (Mens) heads. Thats not to say I understand it all .. but I'm not going to be shocked by it. And ok maybe I was wrong .. I guess on the internet the volition behind the words someone writes is a lot less evident then it is in real life if they say them. I am curious to know if you personaly have ever had comments zapped and if you have, what were they?

When I sugested that you say what you feel, unless it is derogatary or insulting or demeaning  .. I meant unless it is obviously those things .. for example if you tell an artist that her appearance isn't attractive due to certain features or say something violent .. but if you say 'I want to lick your pussy' (which, judging from what you have written here seems to be more along the lines of what you would say) then that wouldn't be likely to be taken as an insult, as it is obviously a compliment even if it's not the type of comment the artist would prefer or even like to receive. Perhaps if all the sponsors started posting only fucking, licking and slapping comments I would think differently about this issue .. but there seem to be plenty of sponsors here at ISM that are as equaly interested in the artistic merit of the images and leave comments about this aspect of the folios .. so I'm not too worried about it and I am still sticking to what I wrote in my first post on this thread which is .. ahh if you don't remember go and read it again

Pia,

It would never enter my mind to say something critical of a woman's appearance or suggest violence. You were right about the kinds of things I might want to say. And such comments apparently fall outside "the values of the site".

My original user name was my actual first and last name. I submitted my first comment then saw it posted there with my full name. I got a little squeemish and sent an email asking that my user name be changed. ISM did so, but also deleted my comment, and scolded me good naturedly suggesting something along the lines of "Please don't lick the girls or talk to them about their snatches. It is impolite and invasive."

I can understand the ideal of keeping the level of the discourse above that level... I really can... I think somehow as I get older I'm getting more sentimental, and I really feel a kind of intimacy with the ISM girls who I feel have shared themselves so intimately with me... not just by posting photos of their bodies... Clearly there is another, deeper, more courageous kind of sharing of themselves going on (you even agonized about it a bit in another thread if I recall). And sometimes it feels intimate to me, and it feels like personally intimacy with me, even if it is all just on the internet. I think I get caught up in that intimacy and that's when I start wanting to take liberties and feeling like I should be able to.

In the end, if giving the boys permission to stop editing themselves and opening the floodgates would diminish the magnificensce of the site, take away any of the pleasure and excitement the women get from submitting, or made even just one slightly fragile woman who was intrigued but had doubts choose not to submit, then it's probably better that the comments be cleaned up and the boys be whacked when they get out of line. I would rather err on the side of protecting the quality of the site and not hurting or offending anyone.

Once again, I wasn't looking for permission to say whatever I wanted to. I was looking for common ground which could be expressive, honest, understood, and not offensive. 

PS I KNEW that if the women got involved in this question, what they said would be very powerful for the men (or at least for me) and so it has been.

SCSIgirl

Member

Re: How can we tell you we lust after you?

I am curious to know if you personaly have ever had comments zapped and if you have, what were they?

I and a few other regs have been  deleted.  I don't remember what my comment was.  I do believe "I want to lick your pussy" is definately cannon fodder.  I also believe it depends who is standing guard at the time,  as it is their evaluation as to when to shoot.  I am a real fan of long dangling lips and I think I once complimented a model for hers and that got hit with the death-ray.  I know I have refrained from any similar comment since.  Here in the forum the tolerance is much wider,  as opposed to the comment bar on the folio page.

---

"Apple of my Eye", "bated breath", "brave new world", "caught red-handed" - all coined by Shakespeare.

SCSIgirl

Member

Re: How can we tell you we lust after you?

this is a fantastic thread.  i appreciate that people are willing to broach these issues.  it's also nice to see some realistic comments about the nature of the site and what's going on there and what it offers.  that blur between art and porn is part of its appeal, and we shouldn't all just act artsy-fartsy and politically correct about it. 

i agree with pia about comments - if you are submitting erotic photos of yourself to a website for money, you have to be completely clueless not to expect that they will be used for others' masturbatory purposes, at least part of the time.  and you should deal with it when they make comments that address the erotic end of it.  but i think expressions of lust should be considered and written carefully, perhaps more so than on a mainstream site, because part of the allure of submitting to ism is the empowered environment it creates.  i think sponsors should try to keep with that principle when making comments.

but there seems to be a lot of discussion about communication disparities between genders, where what looks degrading or filthy is actually not, but becomes so in the process of communicating it.  i think that gender inequality creates experiences in which the same comment or action can look harmless, well-intended, and flattering to someone of one gender and threatening or invasive to another.  it is difficult to bridge this gap while that inequality exists and while people are socialized to those vastly different experiences. 

personally, i can offer this: i didn't submit to ism because i wanted to drive the men wild.  i attempted to submit photos that wouldn't make people vomit, but apart from that, i wasn't practicing a calculated craft where "i knew what i was doing" and had a specific aim, artistic or otherwise.  i saw it more as an offering up of my self and my body image, that others could choose what to do with.  after the photos were submitted, i felt that i no longer had control over their audience or what was done with them, and left that to whoever viewed the folio.  if someone jerks off to my photos, fine.  they paid for it.  jerk away.  i would expect to have the same privileges if i paid for it.  if they develop an elaborate fantasy in which i am bound and gagged and painted orange and forced to eat chocolate ice cream off the floor, that's their business and i am not offended.  they are fantasizing about my virtual self, which is a very small sliver of my actual self, and i gave that to them in exchange for $120 and an opportunity to do something i thought was useful for me and my sexual politics.  if they tell me about that fantasy, whether the expression is tasteful or crude, i will not be affected by it, because it's not something they will ever be able to act out with me and they are, as i said, dealing only with my photographic virtual self. 

as far as i am concerned, the ultimate sexual manifestation of my folio was mine: what you saw was a few moments of a 2-hour masturbation session that ended with a rockin orgasm.  i didn't expect it to be that way, i just got stoned and started the shoot and ended up coming all over the place.  awesome.  it was occasionally raunchy and explicit, because that's what my selfsex is like.  so, although others may experience incapacitating arousal upon viewing it (which has not been confirmed), i remain convinced that i was the most turned on by my shoot.  that doesn't mean that i think it's very "good" or "artistic," but just that it's me in a state of intense arousal, which i think is just great. 

xo

And we love you.  Good to see you back.  Hope you had wonderful Holidays.

---

"Apple of my Eye", "bated breath", "brave new world", "caught red-handed" - all coined by Shakespeare.

SCSIgirl

Member

Re: How can we tell you we lust after you?

Pia,

It would never enter my mind to say something critical of a woman's appearance or suggest violence. You were right about the kinds of things I might want to say. And such comments apparently fall outside "the values of the site".

My original user name was my actual first and last name. I submitted my first comment then saw it posted there with my full name. I got a little squeemish and sent an email asking that my user name be changed. ISM did so, but also deleted my comment, and scolded me good naturedly suggesting something along the lines of "Please don't lick the girls or talk to them about their snatches. It is impolite and invasive."

I can understand the ideal of keeping the level of the discourse above that level... I really can... I think somehow as I get older I'm getting more sentimental, and I really feel a kind of intimacy with the ISM girls who I feel have shared themselves so intimately with me... not just by posting photos of their bodies... Clearly there is another, deeper, more courageous kind of sharing of themselves going on (you even agonized about it a bit in another thread if I recall). And sometimes it feels intimate to me, and it feels like personally intimacy with me, even if it is all just on the internet. I think I get caught up in that intimacy and that's when I start wanting to take liberties and feeling like I should be able to.

In the end, if giving the boys permission to stop editing themselves and opening the floodgates would diminish the magnificensce of the site, take away any of the pleasure and excitement the women get from submitting, or made even just one slightly fragile woman who was intrigued but had doubts choose not to submit, then it's probably better that the comments be cleaned up and the boys be whacked when they get out of line. I would rather err on the side of protecting the quality of the site and not hurting or offending anyone.

Once again, I wasn't looking for permission to say whatever I wanted to. I was looking for common ground which could be expressive, honest, understood, and not offensive. 

PS I KNEW that if the women got involved in this question, what they said would be very powerful for the men (or at least for me) and so it has been.

I think you hit it right on the head, eG, the language/discussion in the classroom is cleaner than on the street.  That's 'cuz teacher's watching.

---

"Apple of my Eye", "bated breath", "brave new world", "caught red-handed" - all coined by Shakespeare.

jdudley76

Member

Re: How can we tell you we lust after you?

as far as i am concerned, the ultimate sexual manifestation of my folio was mine: what you saw was a few moments of a 2-hour masturbation session that ended with a rockin orgasm.  i didn't expect it to be that way, i just got stoned and started the shoot and ended up coming all over the place.  awesome.  it was occasionally raunchy and explicit, because that's what my selfsex is like.  so, although others may experience incapacitating arousal upon viewing it (which has not been confirmed), i remain convinced that i was the most turned on by my shoot.  that doesn't mean that i think it's very "good" or "artistic," but just that it's me in a state of intense arousal, which i think is just great. 

xo

Welcome back to the forums Gala! For the record, consider the incapacitating arousal very much confirmed. In the sprirt of this thread, I will tell you I was very turned on, and it inspired a rather vigorous masturbation session of my own (normally I'd refrain from commenting on something like that, but this seems the time and place if there is any.) I realize you weren't fishing for a compliment, but consider yourself complimented none the less.

I must say, at least PART of my arousal proboably came from having you in the forums before I saw your folio. I tend to be a lot more interested in girls that post here, as it gives me more of a feel for who they are as people, and I find that really adds to the eroticism of the folios. For my money, the mind is still the sexiest part of the body.

---

"This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating."   - George W. Bush, as quoted by the New York Daily News, April 23, 2002

jdudley76

Member

Re: How can we tell you we lust after you?

The comments on the folios are edited by  the ISM staff.
I remember leaving comments on shard and you actually thanked me as part of a PM.
But one of the lines was censored out about 20 mins after I wrote it,

Here's the comment again. I've put the line that was cut out in brackets

"Hey, good enough for album covers 35 and 96. 107 is good too. (as for 015, carefull, you could  knock somebody's eye out with those ) I didn't think much of 104 until I clicked on it, and it came up big. It's close enough to breath on, but you can't, so it's best not to look at it at all. and 40? some panties just look best hanging round your knees. That's really good. I think 35, 96, 104 and 107 are definitely gallery/ print for sale material."

It didn't seem that bad, but I don't really mind having it censored.
I think it's better for the reputation of the site if they reduce the risk of people being upset when reading their comments.
If people are interested enough, they can get into the forum, and discuss anything they want in depth.
BTW, be nice if you could do another folio in the summer break.

.

I went back to look again, and I was sad to see that all of the photos you refered to, except for 15 and 96, are no longer there. I would like to know why they were taken out. I'm very disappointed that ISM removes pictures it has previously posted as part of a folio.

---

"This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating."   - George W. Bush, as quoted by the New York Daily News, April 23, 2002

blissed

Member

Re: How can we tell you we lust after you?

I've just looked again at "shard" via the search and all the pictures are still there.
It might depend perhaps on what subscription level you have.

jdudley76

Member

Re: How can we tell you we lust after you?

I've just looked again at "shard" via the search and all the pictures are still there.
It might depend perhaps on what subscription level you have.

My bad! Since your post was right after Gala's for some reason I got it in my head you were talking about her folio, not Pia's. Sorry.

---

"This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating."   - George W. Bush, as quoted by the New York Daily News, April 23, 2002

liandra_dahl

Member

Re: How can we tell you we lust after you?

Hey...I've really enjoyed reading this thread. I have had comments censored too, and others that I wish they had removed. It is difficult to predict how a model would react to comments of an explicit sexual nature, even if her folio is explicitly sexual. So those in control have to make that judgement, but they have not contributed as a model, they don't know what those comments feel like, they have not felt compelled to exhibit, and then felt exposed out on the internet, so what can they base their decisions on? Even if they had, every girl is different anyway. The way I feel, Pia feels or Gala, Roxie or Zille feel is probably not going to be repeated in the other 1501 who have contrinuted. I suppose all the censors can judge on is what sort of comments they would feel exceptable to be said in person, face to face, to them.

I think there is a realism and everyday ordinary 'in your face honesty' in ISM that draws people in, but that has to be partially contrived at times because the sites audience appeal is a little esoteric anyway so it can't risk it being uncensored because that may loose them valuable contributors, or members that don't want to see the comments posting a place for graphic sexual acts to be described. In order for the project to be viable and to keep moving forwards it is most important that girls submit and enjoy the experience and the feed back, and then those girls will resubmit. It is also important that the members are kept interested, but those fields of interests can occaisionaly be in conflict. The interrests of those that work on the site behind the scenes shouldn't be disregarded either. This is their baby, what they have worked very hard to bring into existence and continue working hard to maintain.  Of course they have ideals for the site and I think it justified for them to curb the other fields interests from time to time.

However, for me specifically, contributing to ISM has changed me, comments that I might have experienced discomfort at on my original folio, I would probably either really enjoy now or be completely indifferent to. I don't think I would want anyone telling me to do rectum shots...I can see why Pia found that one odd...but for the most part I could deal with pretty much anything you felt you needed to express in appreciation of me, my work or my pussy ;-)

LeoBloom

Member

Re: How can we tell you we lust after you?

Liandra says, ‘I suppose all the censors can judge on is what sort of comments they would feel acceptable to be said in person, face to face, to them.’ That’s all very well, but normally if you’re face to face with a woman with legs apart you’re in bed with them, and pillow talk naturally has its component of obscenity.
Look at Chrissy’s latest folio for example: another splendid contribution full of glorious technicolour double-orifice close-ups. Any comment which failed to react to this central element in it would be odd, to say the least. Recently, both Ruby’s and Lylac’s folios contained anal close-ups where the ‘production values’ (lighting, composition, etc) were very strong. But here too you can’t get round the basic fact that a close-up orifice induces thoughts of penetration in a man and his appreciation of the shot is expressed precisely through the stirring in his prick.  And a genuine comment will reflect this. So we’re left with ‘I’d really like to fuck you’ as the ideal comment. Which unfortunately sounds like heavy breathing down the phone.
Liandra also says, ‘I don't think I would want anyone telling me to do rectum shots...I can see why Pia found that one odd...but for the most part I could deal with pretty much anything you felt you needed to express in appreciation of me, my work or my pussy.’ I haven’t gone and checked out Liandra’s folios again, but I assume she hasn’t done anal shots, and the comment is objectionable because it’s telling her what the contributor thinks she ought to be doing rather than appreciating what she has done. Even there, though, the logic is strange. Because if she’s happy with comments on her pussy, then a plea for an anal shot is really the same praise from a different angle: i.e. ‘I liked your pussy so much I’d really like to see your anus too.’
I repeat, I can see there is a problem here (and I fully recognise how exposed and vulnerable a contributor can feel), but given the general context of dripping pussies on this site, the qualms still seem strange.
Our puzzlement over quite what we should be saying and how remains.

Belgareth

Member

Re: How can we tell you we lust after you?

Liandra says, ‘I suppose all the censors can judge on is what sort of comments they would feel acceptable to be said in person, face to face, to them.’ That’s all very well, but normally if you’re face to face with a woman with legs apart you’re in bed with them, and pillow talk naturally has its component of obscenity.
Look at Chrissy’s latest folio for example: another splendid contribution full of glorious technicolour double-orifice close-ups. Any comment which failed to react to this central element in it would be odd, to say the least. Recently, both Ruby’s and Lylac’s folios contained anal close-ups where the ‘production values’ (lighting, composition, etc) were very strong. But here too you can’t get round the basic fact that a close-up orifice induces thoughts of penetration in a man and his appreciation of the shot is expressed precisely through the stirring in his prick.  And a genuine comment will reflect this. So we’re left with ‘I’d really like to fuck you’ as the ideal comment. Which unfortunately sounds like heavy breathing down the phone.
Liandra also says, ‘I don't think I would want anyone telling me to do rectum shots...I can see why Pia found that one odd...but for the most part I could deal with pretty much anything you felt you needed to express in appreciation of me, my work or my pussy.’ I haven’t gone and checked out Liandra’s folios again, but I assume she hasn’t done anal shots, and the comment is objectionable because it’s telling her what the contributor thinks she ought to be doing rather than appreciating what she has done. Even there, though, the logic is strange. Because if she’s happy with comments on her pussy, then a plea for an anal shot is really the same praise from a different angle: i.e. ‘I liked your pussy so much I’d really like to see your anus too.’
I repeat, I can see there is a problem here (and I fully recognise how exposed and vulnerable a contributor can feel), but given the general context of dripping pussies on this site, the qualms still seem strange.
Our puzzlement over quite what we should be saying and how remains.

I'm sorry but I still have a problem with this "orifice" obsession. I don't look at any of shots from the contributors and think "Let me get in there!". I take them for what they are and as an indication of the open (no pun intended) attitude of the girl in question. I used to be a dancer and, due to shared dressing rooms and a focus on the performance, I have seen more naked female bodies, from every possible angle, than I would care to count. The only thing I might have raised is an eybrow and that would have been at poor makeup or a badly fitting costume.

I do believe that the contributors have widely different ideas and intentions about the reactions to their images and I'm quite prepared to say that a girl may have an attractive pussy or whatever but it does not cause sexual arousal in me and would not give any indication of such an effect, just in case it caused offence.

That's my opinion but it looks like I'm in the minority, judging by the other responses. It's just lucky that I don't believe in majority rule.

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blissed

Member

Re: How can we tell you we lust after you?

I think in a working situation even if you are aroused visually, you get used to seeing naked women. When I was life drawing at college there were models of all ages and body shapes, but one term we had a woman who was very definitely attractive. I was distracted at first, but as the weeks went by, I just got used to seeing her naked, to the point that I was really shocked to see her fully clothed when I bumped into her at the railway station I think I prefer it if people wear clothes,  because then getting naked is more exciting.

jdudley76

Member

Re: How can we tell you we lust after you?

Look at Chrissy’s latest folio for example

I actually just got done looking at Chrissy's latest folio, and I must say, it did stir some very sexual feelings in me. Given the way I was feeling when I was finished looking through her folio, I would love to have expessed the physical attraction I felt towards her. But, not wanting to risk offending the person that had just shared something wonderful with me as well as the rest of the ISM community, I simply said: "is left speechless"  I don't feel cheated out of saying exactly what I was feeling, because I think I got the genral idea across, and in a way that is very unlikely to offend. If I was trying to pursue to some sort of on going relationship with Chrissy, then yes, I might feel that I really needed to expess myself in more detail. But as Chrissy has no real clue who I am, and is not likely to ever know me, I think that the vast majority of the time, my expessing a more general appricitation gives her the same boost that a more specific one would.

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"This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating."   - George W. Bush, as quoted by the New York Daily News, April 23, 2002

liandra_dahl

Member

Re: How can we tell you we lust after you?

Liandra also says, ‘I don't think I would want anyone telling me to do rectum shots...I can see why Pia found that one odd...but for the most part I could deal with pretty much anything you felt you needed to express in appreciation of me, my work or my pussy.’ I haven’t gone and checked out Liandra’s folios again, but I assume she hasn’t done anal shots, and the comment is objectionable because it’s telling her what the contributor thinks she ought to be doing rather than appreciating what she has done. Even there, though, the logic is strange. Because if she’s happy with comments on her pussy, then a plea for an anal shot is really the same praise from a different angle: i.e. ‘I liked your pussy so much I’d really like to see your anus too.’

A plee for an anal shot is not praising equal anal shot, but I see what you're getting at. it's not talking about the rectum that bothers me, if someone has taken a photo of it and you like it then feel free to compliment, just someone telling you to take pictures of your rectum seems odd to me. Is that really so confusing? Anyway, why should what I would want people to say to me have to be logical? I didn't say "as a rule that is the sort of comment that should be removed" I just said I wouldn't like it being said to me.

Our puzzlement over quite what we should be saying and how remains.

I think it's a quandry you are stuck with. Just try and make a discernment from the content of the folio...and if the powers that be zap it, it's not really a big deal, get over it.

eGomer

Member

Re: How can we tell you we lust after you?

Liandra Dahl,

I wouldn't like a request for a rectum shot either. It certainly isn't as complimentary as simply expressing appreciation of the photos that you DID submit. It's kinda like looking a gift horse in the mouth... like you give somebody an apple and they say, "thanks, but an orange would really taste good right now"... That clearly seems unappreciative, in a way, or like a back-handed compliment.

But what about asking for another apple, "Gee that apple was great! Can I have another one?" (i.e. asking for more pictures/vids like the ones you DID submit)? As a submitter, does that feel complimentary, or does it feel kinda like the requestor is saying that what you gave wasn't quite enough?

LeoBloom

Member

Re: How can we tell you we lust after you?

Fair enough, Liandra.
I’m more puzzled by Blissed’s and Belgareth’s comments. I can quite understand that if naked women are commonplace where you work then you simply get used to it, just as you do at a nudist beach. But this is not like what you might see at a life class or in the changing rooms, because here we are talking about close-up views between the legs – and unless you’re a gynaecologist the only context where that is normally feasible is one of sexual invitation. (Parenthesis: a married couple, both of them doctors, once said to me that it was a commonplace in the medical profession that male gynaecologists were perverts. I was surprised, but I mention it for what it is worth.) And so I remain surprised by Belgareth saying, ‘I'm quite prepared to say that a girl may have an attractive pussy or whatever but it does not cause sexual arousal in me and would not give any indication of such an effect, just in case it caused offence.’ I don’t think any of our contributors would take it as a compliment that the sight of the bodies that they have so bravely displayed left us sexally indifferent. Desiring them is a proper and natural response – and the appropriate compliment.

Belgareth

Member

Re: How can we tell you we lust after you?

............. I don’t think any of our contributors would take it as a compliment that the sight of the bodies that they have so bravely displayed left us sexally indifferent. Desiring them is a proper and natural response – and the appropriate compliment.

I didn't actually say that I was indifferent, sexually or otherwise, to the sight of an attractive female body. However, I do have a slightly unusual perspective on the naked body, in that I do become physically and mentally aroused by the the proximity of one (or more) in circumstances where I am allowed contact by the owner(s) of them, in an appropriate environment but I do not have the same reactions when presented with images of naked bodies. I can look at an image of a naked body and appreciate the sensual wonder and beauty of it without having sexually arousing thoughts. In other words, I can, and do, have pleasant feelings about them but it does not stimulate an erection, nor the desire to masturbate. I chose to become a member of ISM because I totally support the ethos of the site and it's kick against main-stream pornography. Therefore I cannot see how my appreciation can be construed as a rejection of the wonderful work being displayed by our contributors.

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SCSIgirl

Member

Re: How can we tell you we lust after you?

I didn't actually say that I was indifferent, sexually or otherwise, to the sight of an attractive female body. However, I do have a slightly unusual perspective on the naked body, in that I do become physically and mentally aroused by the the proximity of one (or more) in circumstances where I am allowed contact by the owner(s) of them, in an appropriate environment but I do not have the same reactions when presented with images of naked bodies. I can look at an image of a naked body and appreciate the sensual wonder and beauty of it without having sexually arousing thoughts. In other words, I can, and do, have pleasant feelings about them but it does not stimulate an erection, nor the desire to masturbate. I chose to become a member of ISM because I totally support the ethos of the site and it's kick against main-stream pornography. Therefore I cannot see how my appreciation can be construed as a rejection of the wonderful work being displayed by our contributors.

Well stated, B, and I feel much the same way.  I have a very strict policy of never getting involved with my models.  It has it's downside because I probably missed out on some very fine sex.  But in the long run,  maintaining a platonic relationship with a model keeps everything objective.  I'm looking for art,  and nudes are far more inspiring to me if I can maintain my objectivity.  If my model developes the attitude that we are there to WORK,  we both can produce some outstanding results.

So what does ISM do for me?  The artists give me some great ideas and inspiration.  And the conversation is open and honest.  What else could I ask for?

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"Apple of my Eye", "bated breath", "brave new world", "caught red-handed" - all coined by Shakespeare.