#1 January 1st, 2006 06:51 AM

eGomer

Member

How can we tell you we lust after you?

I'm a guy who likes to look at (and be around) beautiful and stimulating women and likes porn if it's done well, so I was really thrilled to stumble upon ISM. I am so happy to have found all of you, and I have been awed by what I have seen as well as what I have read.

I could talk all day about how fine, awesome, and inspirational the artists on ISM are for a hundred different reasons which have to do with who they are as women and as artists, and nothing to do with eroticism.

But that's not what I want to talk about. I want to talk about the eroticism.

Let me start by saying that I have no illusions about myself. I am old, overweight, and not attractive. To appreciate me, one has to hang around and get to know me, and get past my unattractive appearance. So what I say about the artists' superficial appearance is not meant to be hurtful to anyone, but just to be honest about how I feel and to seek context and perspective from you.

I admit to being judgemental (in a superficial way) in my physical reactions to the folios. I admire and celebrate every single artist and folio for many reasons, but there are some folios which to me are a thousand times more potent than the others.

The women in them are somehow so stunning and stupifying that they mesmerize me.  These women are usually among the more beautiful, but not always. ANd beauty alone could never cause the kind of reaction I'm talking about. It is the whole package: Beauty, style, aliveness, sexiness, concept, quality and composition of the photos, etc.

Some of the artists and folios are so sexy and hot that they temporarily disable my ability to form words and speak. They're that hot. I certainly appreciate these women as women and as artists, and I appreciate their folios as art. But these women and these folios also turn me on. Sexually.

And, as a man, I'd like to express my approval and "appreciation", which honestly has elements of both the esoteric and the NASTY.

It is clear to me that expressing the former part (esoteric) is encouraged, and that expressing the latter (NASTY) is a no-no.

And I feel like I'm somehow supposed to DENY that visceral reaction, or TONE IT DOWN, or CHANGE IT AROUND into something CIVILIZED and POLITE (i.e. "170 really showcases your beauty!") ... but I feel as though I'm not supposed to express this potent, primal feeling as it really is... a feeling which I seriously feel the folio was intended to evoke.

I admit it, I objectify these artists. I dare to imagine and fantasize about them sexually without really thinking too much about discussing politics or literature with them.

I'm an old fart and yet I still get a bit confused and perplexed about how to express myself to you in a way which will make you feel GOOD (as I want you to) and not feel like you have just been violated in some way (which would make me feel ashamed and regretful and sad).

I mean, we (guys) know that you want to look good for your own personal reasons and your own self image etc., but we also KNOW you want to look sexy to us and we KNOW you want to be desired and we KNOW that you're doing it at least partially to get a reaction from us and we KNOW that at some level it pleases you to get that reaction, and it disappoints you when you don't get it...

I want to respect "the values of the site", but I can't help feeling that some of those values are denied... the ones that have to do with guys lusting after beautiful, desirable young women... never expecting to actually touch them, just lusting after them in cyberspace, which is safe for everyone... and that these values are repressed and denied.

This is by no means an ISM problem. It is universal. Men bungle what they intend as compliments into something that makes the women who are the objects of their appreciation and worship, feel disgusted or violated or devalued, just the opposite of what the brute intended.

Can you help me to understand how you feel and how coarse "compliments" make you feel and how I can express myself in a  way which is appropriate and respectful but also conveys some of the raw potency of the feelings you evoked in me in a positive way?

I think your answers to this question could really help a lot of guys, and I know the ISM women are EXACTLY the right women to help with this because you are open, honest, sexy and comfortable with your sexuality, and I think you clearly like guys even if you think we're kinda dumb sometimes.

I will appreciate your insights.

eGomer

MrPicMe

Member

Re: How can we tell you we lust after you?

...Very well stated.

cynicism

Member

Re: How can we tell you we lust after you?

So you are looking for a way to say "wow, #170 made me ejaculate copiously as I masturbated to the images of your splendid naked body", but in somewhat coarser terms, without offending the object of your lust? Difficult.

It's probably impossible to tell which women would react positively to being told that their pictures aroused you to climax, and which women might be offended. That's probably one of the main reasons that we're guided to be somewhat circumspect in our comments.

It's probably much safer to stick to "wow, #170 is hot!". :-)  Sorry to be boring.

romeodeaux

Member

Re: How can we tell you we lust after you?

eGomer ,That was very insightful , honest  & thoughtful . jeez ! this is going to sound like a kind of  ' iron john ' male bonding session . But I 've been thinking about similar issues lately .
e.g. I was going to compliment a ISM girl today i was going to say something like :

' Ballerina, with you, theatre & props are gilding the lily , nice gilding though . you babe are a real  ' nutcracker ' and you can crack my N... CENSORED , any time . I would love to see you do fotosets / mpg , Isadora Duncan stylee .  '

But then i thought Girl / women friends , who know me , would find this funny. But this person doesn't  know me and i'm not sitting in a pub, with a female friend, getting drunk with the both of us making increasingly outrageous jokes, in an attempt to outbawd each other. so i added a sort of apology. [ p.s. bawdy humour intended to amuse not offend ]  but now i sounded like a wimpy groveling  ' new - man '... eeyouwer .

so i decided not to post anything at all. if i compliment a girl i want it to express , and sound like me

bottom line is i don't come to ISM for Art   [ although I do  enjoy the art when it is present & their are some very good artists and natural, instinctive creative  on this site , whose work i'd like to see more of, beyond the boundaries of porn ]  or for coffee table Arty - Farty Erotica ,which most often is equally soulless rubbish . I do it to wank . I probably wank more than i would if i were in a relationship. Which I'm not in  , out of choice. i spend most of my alloted porn time at ISM because, they are for me, the sexiest girlz on the net .

I did an Erotic Art course at art school , & after a long and exhaustive practical hands on study and field research in our local red light area, peep shows etc .  , most often coming out of the experience with an empty sick feeling . i decided i wanted certain specific things from porn or erotica, in the future. ISM delivers on most of them .

they are the sexiest girls on the net & beyond for me because :

* they are in charge of every thing including the resulting image i see
* they are doing it for fun
* some are beautiful & sexy in terms of  society's consensus ,but they are not porn stars
* and then there are those rare exotic unconventional beauties who you'll not see anywhere else
* i can see makeup less girls , sometimes the way you see your girlfriend in the morning
or i can see makeup used inventively in a very unnatural clever theatrical way
* their's a real person there.
* They feel good about themselves & what they are doing . I feel good about them feeling good about themselves doing what they are doing .
* Nobody is being exploited .

Result, I can have  a joyous guilt- free wank ,.... at last ! .

OK ! I know out there in cyber- land a few polite blokes are probably thanking me for sharing . Group Hug now , chaps . [ and theirs virtual tissue paper available for anyone who wants a good sob ! ]

jdudley76

Member

Re: How can we tell you we lust after you?

So you are looking for a way to say "wow, #170 made me ejaculate copiously as I masturbated to the images of your splendid naked body", but in somewhat coarser terms, without offending the object of your lust? Difficult.

It's probably impossible to tell which women would react positively to being told that their pictures aroused you to climax, and which women might be offended. That's probably one of the main reasons that we're guided to be somewhat circumspect in our comments.

It's probably much safer to stick to "wow, #170 is hot!". :-)  Sorry to be boring.

I agree, the underlying reason for carefully worded compliments is to not offend the person to which you are trying to express appricitaion. The best way I can think of to express yourself more openly, is to get to know the girls you would like to open up with (hopefully though seldom they are here on the forums), once you get to know them and can get a feel for what kind of compliments are appriciated, you can open up appropriately. Some regular contributors, like Dandy or Jules, that have established a pattern of doing things on the more raunchy side, you are probably safe to assume are more open to the somewhat cruder compliments. Even then though, I would use some discretion until you get to know them a bit, and get a feel for them. It's definately a difficult balance, as the last thing you want to do is offend the person you're trying to compliment. The first thing you should probably do is to try to put yourself in their position. Try to imagine that you have put similar pictures of yourself on display. What would be welcome for you to hear, and what would you take offense to?

---

"This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating."   - George W. Bush, as quoted by the New York Daily News, April 23, 2002

jdudley76

Member

Re: How can we tell you we lust after you?

bottom line is i don't come to ISM for Art   I do it to wank.

I don't think any of the girls here would be shocked to hear the the vast majority of us masterbate while looking at them and fantasizing about them. I'm sure there are some contributors that are shooting them selves for that very reason, while there are others that are shooting themselves for artistic expression (though I suspect most are doing it for a combination of the two.) I think even the girls that are shooting themselves purely for art are aware that we are getting erotic pleasure from looking at them.

---

"This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating."   - George W. Bush, as quoted by the New York Daily News, April 23, 2002

pia

Member

Re: How can we tell you we lust after you?

Can you help me to understand how you feel and how coarse "compliments" make you feel and how I can express myself in a  way which is appropriate and respectful but also conveys some of the raw potency of the feelings you evoked in me in a positive way?

eGomer I found your post very valid and interesting and well stated and I think that as long as you don't abuse or insult the artists, then write what you want. So what if it is a little coarse.. maybe it isn't exactly what the girls want to hear but it is the reality of what you have to say and I'm sure they can all deal with it ..

and if they can't then I don't know what they are doing being naked on the internet. If there are woman who have contributed folios of themselves to this site and they are of the illusion that all or most of the sponsors are here to see art and not erotica/porn/sexual images then I have to say that they are foolish and naive and perhaps it would not be so bad that they be shocked by a few comments.

Thats not to say that they are the type of comments that I most apreciate or hope to receive on my folios but I don't feel upset if I do get them and i'd rather that people were writing honestly and saying something a bit crude then fluffing around and saying some crap that they dont really think.

eGomer

Member

Re: How can we tell you we lust after you?

I don't think any of the girls here would be shocked to hear the the vast majority of us masterbate while looking at them and fantasizing about them. I'm sure there are some contributors that are shooting them selves for that very reason, while there are others that are shooting themselves for artistic expression (though I suspect most are doing it for a combination of the two.) I think even the girls that are shooting themselves purely for art are aware that we are getting erotic pleasure from looking at them.

The ones I'm talking about aren't doing it for artistic expression alone. I think it is safe to say that the ones who knock me flat on my ass did not do so by accident. And I say that with admiration: They knew exactly what they were doing and exactly how to do it. They are equipped with sublime eqipment and the practical skills to optimize and turbocharge that equipment. They're gifted in their sensuality, and I feel confident that they did what they did partly to generously share their gifts with us...and partly for the pure satisfaction of accomplishing their objective of using what they've got to intoxicate us, to make us their slaves for a while... And what's wrong with that? I cannot even imagine what that kind of power would feel like, but rest assured the ISM girls who kick my ass have been making guys walk into poles and stumble off curbs since they were about twelve years old, just by walking down the street. They know what they're doing, and if I could do it, I'd do it too. I bet they can feel us falling under their spells all across the world, righjt through their internet connections. I am in awe of them and I worship them.

I just don't want to change that raw attraction and inspiration into something "nice" and "civilized" and "proper" that could be said over tea with a stranger. The feelings I'd like to describe to them are NOT THAT. Wouldn't doing that diminish and dilute and falsify something absolutely miraculous and divine?

And by doing what they do, don't the ISM girls somehow transcend some of the social gap that normally exists between us? Don't they give us a kind of intimacy by sharing themselves as they do? When Soraya and Lataetia and Blondine in all their gorgeous glory share themselves with us willingly while expressing modesty about others who might be able to see them in their nakedness, it makes me feel that I share an intimacy with them that they do not share with strangers. I know this is a kind of virtual intimacy, but I can't help feeling it, and when the girls give me that gift of imtimacy and specialness, it makes me feel all the more "entitled" to be intimate with them just by putting aside the bullshit and being honest with them. 

I'm not talking about being deliberately vulgar or degrading, but I am talking about finding the right way to tell the truth about sexual feelings without turning them off.

I'd love to hear some female feedback...

LeoBloom

Member

Re: How can we tell you we lust after you?

This is an extremely interesting thread, and I hope there will be more female input on it. The problem is not one of how to say I'm wanking over your pics (because I'm not, actually) but one of simple authenticity. Some of the most striking photos (not all and perhaps not even most) are directed at one's cock, and an honest response needs to be expressed as cock talk. But I don't think anyone would like to see the comments degenerating into sub-porn obscenity. I wonder if it would be possible for the artists to indicate a preference about the kind of comments they want in their profile.
It is, however, true, as some of the comments above have pointed out, that the kind of folio they have done indicates the kind of response they want. Or have any of you ever felt offended by comments that were positive but crude?

eGomer

Member

Re: How can we tell you we lust after you?

eGomer I found your post very valid and interesting and well stated and I think that as long as you don't abuse or insult the artists, then write what you want. So what if it is a little coarse.. maybe it isn't exactly what the girls want to hear but it is the reality of what you have to say and I'm sure they can all deal with it ..

and if they can't then I don't know what they are doing being naked on the internet. If there are woman who have contributed folios of themselves to this site and they are of the illusion that all or most of the sponsors are here to see art and not erotica/porn/sexual images then I have to say that they are foolish and naive and perhaps it would not be so bad that they be shocked by a few comments.

Thats not to say that they are the type of comments that I most apreciate or hope to receive on my folios but I don't feel upset if I do get them and i'd rather that people were writing honestly and saying something a bit crude then fluffing around and saying some crap that they dont really think.

Pia,

Do you know that great feeling you get when you're struggling with something and someone really "gets" it? Thank you for giving me that feeling. And thank you for the thoughtfulness, candor, and generosity of your response. You said exactly what I hoped to hear from someone who might be at the other end of the kind of feelings I was describing... More inspirational openness and courage from the always-inspirational babes of ISM.

Thanks for showing once again that your luminescence, so plain in your killer folios and vids, isn't skin deep!

SCSIgirl

Member

Re: How can we tell you we lust after you?

I'm a guy who likes to look at (and be around) beautiful and stimulating women and likes porn if it's done well, so I was really thrilled to stumble upon ISM. I am so happy to have found all of you, and I have been awed by what I have seen as well as what I have read.

>>>>  snippped for brevity  <<<<<<

I will appreciate your insights.

eGomer

Very well and tactfully stated.  As most here will tell you and certainly all my friends will agree,  I am far from the "norm".  So this repsonse is just FYI and not to be taken the way most might do it.

I do not visit here for "wanking material".  Indeed porn as a whole interests me deeply but not for "taking care of myself".  I'm not into spectator sports and really don't get off on watching others.  I usually get off on the real people I know.  There are some strippers in that pool,  but they are ones I have known for years.  My usual interests are co-workers, friends, girl friends of friends (I was trying to think if there was a wife or two in there,  but there isn't).

I am attracted to strong personalities.  Not necessarily dominate personalities,  but strong ones.  Women that are confident in their sexuality.  My Scuzzy Girl will scamper to the top of the Rolling Stones Cobra Head and start dismantling it from the top down.  One of my ex-girlfriends worked for the Water Company and would come home caked with mud from repairing a broken main.  One of my favorite strippers moonlights felling trees with a chainsaw.  One of my models is a full time Vet  (as in animals).  Another is taking 15 units a semester to become one.  Another is doing college full time to become a pharmacist.  I find these women incredibly sexy.  They are doers.  They accomplish things.  They also have the strength and power to deny the norms of society and say "I'm an average girl and I'm beautiful".  This is what turns me on. 

The girls of ISM have a different appeal.  I don't know know what any of them do outside of ISM.  They are virtual.  But they have the personal strength to deny the conventions of society,  to push their own envelopes, to do what is "naughty",  and to say "The world needs to be a better place".  I admire that.  In the forums,  some of them become more real.  But that is a small step and a long way from watching Scuzzy in her spandex shorts, out climb the wimpy guys around her.  (I wish I could post what an incredible figure and leg muscles in action look like,  and you would know what I am talking about).

ISMs appeal is more of finding interesting personalities and real people in a virtual world.  I believe if I had met Liandra in her Soccer days,  I'd been dreaming of her for years.

For now,  I'd like to take my favorite ISM girls and put them into my raft and take them down the South Fork of the American.  Then I'd see who really are the gonzo girls.

---

"Apple of my Eye", "bated breath", "brave new world", "caught red-handed" - all coined by Shakespeare.

eGomer

Member

Re: How can we tell you we lust after you?

I should probably only speak for myself, but I'll go out on a limb and say that the ISM guys are CLEARLY guys who love and appreciate women in ALL OF THEIR GLORY. If we were in search of mass quantities of ass, beaver shots, snatch, humping and slurping, there are thousands upon thousands of far better places to go on the web than ISM.

You give us a lot of context before we get to your pussies (surroundings, lighting, props, clothing (first on then off), undies, face, eyes, nostrils, lips, smiles, hair, fingers, hands, feet, navels, necks, tummies, skin, freclkes, moles, imperfections, the journey you take us on with the sequencing of the photos. not to mention the artist's statement and artist's profile). Without all of that context, your beaver shots would be nothing but beaver shots, like all the zillions of internet beaver shots we left behind for ISM.

And to a man who fully loves and appreciates women (as we do) a beaver shot in a vacuum has all the allure and eroticism of a pot roast.

Forgive the generalizations, but neither men nor women are especially rational in dealing with sudden, strong attractions, and to make matters worse, each sex tends to be irrational in completely different ways, each of which alienates and turns off the other sex.

Fortunately, as you always hoped, it's only YOU, and not your pot roast that has the power to make us long for you. But unfortunately, by the time you have us hooked on YOU, it 's often just your PUSSY that we're HARD WIRED as men to go for first, most forcefully, and most relentlessly. Hence, your pussy (and other engorgables) may get a disproportionate measure of our attention... 

In other words, when we want your pussy, it was you, not your pussy, that made us want it.

We may be guilty of "letting the little head tell the big head what to do", and thereby misdirecting our attention in ways that FEEL degrading and hurtful to you, but to us dogs, these are just expressions of our primal attraction to you. 

This is a real enough phenomenon in the real, physical world... But in the world of ISM and your folios, a minute after we learn of your existence, we're looking at the reflection of your camera in a close-up of your engorged, glistening clit!

You've got to cut us some slack! We're only human!

cynicism

Member

Re: How can we tell you we lust after you?

I'm not sure what motivates a woman to "shoot herself" - I'd really like to ask them in detail why they did it (I know I would not, but I have a poor opinion of my appearance). I suspect that we'll find many different reasons, indeed, many different categories of reasons.

I suspect that some do it precisely because they can fantasise about the people masturbating over their images. ISM does cater to the female exhibitionist (and we should be glad!)

I suspect others may have quite different motivations. One women I know well regrets not having images of her younger self naked; I'd guess that she wishes ISM had been around 20 years ago (heck, I'd guess she wishes digital cameras had been around 20 years ago, because getting nude photos developed was not trivial).

I have little doubt that some of ISM artistes would claim to have done their folios purely in the spirit of art.

And I would not be surprised to learn that some folios originated from vanity (the "look at me!" motivation).

I would really like to see more detail in the "Why I Shot Myself" answers, but I fear this won't happen. Pity.

jdudley76

Member

Re: How can we tell you we lust after you?

In other words, when we want your pussy, it was you, not your pussy, that made us want it.

We may be guilty of "letting the little head tell the big head what to do", and thereby misdirecting our attention in ways that FEEL degrading and hurtful to you, but to us dogs, these are just expressions of our primal attraction to you.

All of it was very well stated, and I can identify with it. Thank you for finding such a wonderful way of saying that.

---

"This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating."   - George W. Bush, as quoted by the New York Daily News, April 23, 2002

mikhaill

Member

Re: How can we tell you we lust after you?

eGomer I found your post very valid and interesting and well stated and I think that as long as you don't abuse or insult the artists, then write what you want. So what if it is a little coarse.. maybe it isn't exactly what the girls want to hear but it is the reality of what you have to say and I'm sure they can all deal with it ..

and if they can't then I don't know what they are doing being naked on the internet. If there are woman who have contributed folios of themselves to this site and they are of the illusion that all or most of the sponsors are here to see art and not erotica/porn/sexual images then I have to say that they are foolish and naive and perhaps it would not be so bad that they be shocked by a few comments.

Thats not to say that they are the type of comments that I most apreciate or hope to receive on my folios but I don't feel upset if I do get them and i'd rather that people were writing honestly and saying something a bit crude then fluffing around and saying some crap that they dont really think.

I have been known to ask Pia if I may touch myself inappropriately to her pictures.

She tells me no. I cry a little on the inside.

Then I get on with my life.

---

Witty one-liner encapsulating powerful insight.

voyeur2

Member

Re: How can we tell you we lust after you?

I have to preface this post with a remark about another thread where the guy was looking for hot older ladies - say over 30.

Being over 60 I thought back to my own youth and could see his point of view.  I was a callow youth and far less sophisticated than I am now.  I have also over time redefined lust, to mean 'strong desire to have as a lover'.  It is not the act, it is the relationship I am drawn to.

Yes there are a few artists I lust after, if I could run my time machine in reverse and arrive at the appropriate age with my current mind still present.

All healthy women are beautiful, it is not the particular shape, body art, hairy or not, bra size or whatever physical thing, the thing that makes beauty a visceral attraction to me is the mind.  The way I can imagine theirs work and meshes with the way mine works.

So if I say I lust after some artists, it is not that I have any expectation or intent that it be reciprocated in any way.  If you have been here long enough to read my posts you must have some idea of my character, and simply read it as 'this person would want to be your lover if . . .'  And I know my desire is taken from a tiny sample of who they are, as revealed by their art, and could very well be wrong.

My personal top 3, in alphabetical order -    Liandra Dahl -  Missdemeanor  -  Zille

---

Have I ever lied to you before?

romeodeaux

Member

Re: How can we tell you we lust after you?

I just have to say to any ISM girls who might be reading this openly and honestly that one of the main reasons I look at your fotos is to ' wank ', '  masturbate ', ' toss the caber ' , ' polish the bishop ' ,'  indulge in a bit of the ' autoerotix '. All the comments I make on your folios are honest & genuine but without me talking about the above . I would have started feeling like a phoney . In my last post i was exaggerating to make a point . I enjoy the Whole ISM experience .

For me personally girls like the girls on ISM  are not unattainable . I don't put them on a pedestal . they look like a portion of the kinds of girls I meet when I'm out socialising .
I'm about  8 -10 Yrs older than most of the girls on ISM & . The age group i encounter in my social life is mostly around 23 - 35 . well i say my social life, although I'm not getting around as much as i used to, due to temporary adverse conditions . But it is very easy to get laid where i live , with lots of one night stands on offer if I wanted to , which i don't .

I'm getting on my soap box now .

Stating the obvious i know . Being sexy 20 & beautiful , doesn't make a person better    than anyone else . i think that any 21 st century girl / woman, knows that if she  does a folio on ISM . Boys / Girls / Men and Women of all ages / types of physical attractiveness    , will use them as inspiration for ' taking care of themselves '  , and repeatedly so.

Now hypothetically , if out of the apparent  'Inherent rightness , superiority of her being, & the privileges that come with being young and beautiful '  , an ISM girl  decides  that only beautiful people of a certain age are worthy of using her as a source of inspiration for ' self pleasuring [ which she has every right to do ] in my opinion that makes her a ' wanker '

my point is that what ever i look like, on the whole spectrum  from the most ugly slob to  Brad pitt or Lenny kravitz  , whatever my age 18 -100 Yrs . It would still be ok for me to use fotos of ISM girls for ' taking care of my self '  , any difficulties hypothetical ISM girl has with this , should be her problem not mine .

However if i know that an ISM would rather i didn't use her fotos in this way . i would like to know  about it , as it would be very easy for me not to rise to the occasion , as the whole experience wouldn't be good clean fun anymore . 

i think there should be a  Flirt-o-meter on Artist profie  where an ISM girl  can say what level of
of flirtation if any , from 0 to10 . with zero being ' none at all ' , to 5 being'  i like a bit of innuendo  , the risque & bawdy as long as it is respectful ' ,  to 10 being'  talk real dirty to me baby , cos it turns me on ' . [ in a respectful way of course ]

A very wise ma......er.... person once said . Loving others , Loving the earth, having peace on earth , starts with loving your self . So I'm off now to do my bit for world peace, by vigorously & enthusiastically ' taking care of my self  '.

roxxie

Member

Re: How can we tell you we lust after you?

Oo! I love this topic! I'm used to "dirty" comments since I've been modeling for a while and was an exotic dancer years ago. It doesn't bother me when I'm "at work" and I receive an email or comment from a fan that is something like, "I'm so hard and I like to cum on your pictures and various other dirty things." My response is usually, "That's fantastic! Keep up the good work!" I think that being "at work" and wearing that mask creates a sort of boundary. I've never had any problems meeting and interacting with fans, and I think they understand that there is a boundary between my working life and my private life. If a guy were to walk up to me in the library and say the same sort of thing, he would have a broken nose. If someone sees me on the street and feels that way, I would much rather receive a comment like, "Hi, how are you? My name is..." I respond to that really well and I don't mind chatting with people that I'm guessing find me attractive and want to get my phone number. I don't ever give out my phone number, but I have met some very interesting people! Just don't offer me candy. I hate it when guys flirt with me and offer me candy. I can't believe how often it happens. I'm allergic to everything and they don't seem to understand that I have multiple reasons for not accepting it from them.

pia

Member

Re: How can we tell you we lust after you?

I'm not sure what motivates a woman to "shoot herself" - I'd really like to ask them in detail why they did it (I know I would not, but I have a poor opinion of my appearance). I suspect that we'll find many different reasons, indeed, many different categories of reasons.

I suspect that some do it precisely because they can fantasise about the people masturbating over their images. ISM does cater to the female exhibitionist (and we should be glad!)

I suspect others may have quite different motivations. One women I know well regrets not having images of her younger self naked; I'd guess that she wishes ISM had been around 20 years ago (heck, I'd guess she wishes digital cameras had been around 20 years ago, because getting nude photos developed was not trivial).

I have little doubt that some of ISM artistes would claim to have done their folios purely in the spirit of art.

And I would not be surprised to learn that some folios originated from vanity (the "look at me!" motivation).

I would really like to see more detail in the "Why I Shot Myself" answers, but I fear this won't happen. Pity.

WHY I SHOT MYSELF by Pia

Here is my original artists statement .. there is now a new statement (which I wrote after shooting one of my reloads) up on my profile, but I still have this one saved on my computer and it pretty much sums up what motivated me to participate in the project.

I wanted to participate in this project to challenge my own perceptions of myself, nudity and to look at how I view myself in this context. I find it interesting how in our society nudity is viewed as being okay in some circumstances but is totally looked down on in others. For me, it is natural and normal to be naked… Yet, I do notice I censor myself due to other people’s perceptions; I guess I always want people to approve… So, because I said I never would be naked on the Internet… I am.

Before I became aware of the website I saw an advertisment in a newspaper and it mentioned something about being involved in a public art experiment and nudity and taking pictures of yourself. The art and nudity and photography combination got my attention 'cos I like all of those things .. I had been involved in some nude performance art kinda stuff with a Chinese artist named Zhang Huan and done life modeling for artists which was not really erotic at all and I think that I expected the ISM website to be more along those lines in terms of the way nudity is presented. I was a little suprised when I checked it out, as it was more sexualy orientated than I had presumed it would be.

There IS alot of artistic work on ISM and even the not so artistic work is often artistic .. and anyway it can all be argued to be art if someone wants to argue that it is .. But it is also evident that the content of the site and the way it is presented is erotic and pornographical in nature . . Even though I liked the site straight away, I had to think about it (for a minute or two) before deciding whether I wanted to have nude pictures of myself displayed in that context.

So that was my initial motivation and how I ended up here .. I guess there are further reasons which motivated me to stay and shoot myself again n again and yeah as much as it is about the art I guess I must have a streak or two of exhibitionism in me

pia

Member

Re: How can we tell you we lust after you?

This is an extremely interesting thread, and I hope there will be more female input on it. The problem is not one of how to say I'm wanking over your pics (because I'm not, actually) but one of simple authenticity. Some of the most striking photos (not all and perhaps not even most) are directed at one's cock, and an honest response needs to be expressed as cock talk. But I don't think anyone would like to see the comments degenerating into sub-porn obscenity. I wonder if it would be possible for the artists to indicate a preference about the kind of comments they want in their profile.
It is, however, true, as some of the comments above have pointed out, that the kind of folio they have done indicates the kind of response they want. Or have any of you ever felt offended by comments that were positive but crude?

Actually I just checked and nobody has ever posted a crude comment on any of my folios .. the closest thing to a crude comment was 'folio could use a rectum shot' and that's not even crude is it .. although I didn't really like that comment for some reason .. I think because he was telling me what my folio could do with instead of just saying what he would like to see .. but I wasn't offended just mildly and briefly irritated. I guess my photographs are not very explicate and so dont make people want to post crude comments .. or maybe none of the girls have crude comments posted on their folios and all the ISM Voyeurs are polite and well spoken or maybe they are too scared to say crude things incase they offend someone .. anyway I dont care .. as much as I agree with you LeoBloom and would hate to see the sub-porn obscenity .. Guys just write what you feel as long as it isn't derogatory or insulting or demeaning .. oh hahaha you don't know what we consider to be insulting or demeaning? Well I think the volition behind the comment is usualy evident so if you mean well by a comment it will hopefuly come across that way.

overslacked

Member

Re: How can we tell you we lust after you?

I think each folio has it's own attitude and character, and combined with the artist's statement and mini-quiz answers, you can get a pretty good idea of what kind of comments would be most appreciated. I don't leave a lot of comments (mostly because what I'd like to have said has already been said more eloquently), but that's how I temper my compliments.

Still though, I always leave something out - it's difficult. The thought of being misunderstood here is terrifying. I wonder if that's why the comments to the artist are public? I know I'm more cautious since they'll not only be read by the artist but anyone.

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Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes; art is knowing which ones to keep. - Scott Adams

eGomer

Member

Re: How can we tell you we lust after you?

Actually I just checked and nobody has ever posted a crude comment on any of my folios .. the closest thing to a crude comment was 'folio could use a rectum shot' and that's not even crude is it .. although I didn't really like that comment for some reason .. I think because he was telling me what my folio could do with instead of just saying what he would like to see .. but I wasn't offended just mildly and briefly irritated. I guess my photographs are not very explicate and so dont make people want to post crude comments .. or maybe none of the girls have crude comments posted on their folios and all the ISM Voyeurs are polite and well spoken or maybe they are too scared to say crude things incase they offend someone .. anyway I dont care .. as much as I agree with you LeoBloom and would hate to see the sub-porn obscenity .. Guys just write what you feel as long as it isn't derogatory or insulting or demeaning .. oh hahaha you don't know what we consider to be insulting or demeaning? Well I think the volition behind the comment is usualy evident so if you mean well by a comment it will hopefuly come across that way.

First of all, not to bust your bubble about what the viewers are thinking or saying, I think there may be more raunchy comments than meet the eye- I believe the comments the ISM folks find potentially offensive are regularly zapped. Is this not true?

Second, I again applaud your openness to free but expression by the viewers "as long as it isn't derogatory or insulting or demeaning "... but I think you may have sort of exposed what I think is the problem when after issuing that invitation you realized, "oh hahaha you don't know what we consider to be insulting or demeaning?" and then resolved it for yourself with, "Well I think the volition behind the comment is usualy evident so if you mean well by a comment it will hopefuly come across that way". The whole problem is that women are usually using THEIR values and THEIR female perception to make the judgement regarding the volition and intention behind men's comments. 

What I'm saying is that it is very often the case that what men say is MISINTERPRETED by women, especially when it falls into that gray area where our values and perceptions are so different, in ways which are cultural, social, biological and biochemical. You THINK you know what we meant, and you definitely know how it FELT, and you understandably react as though your interpretation was accurate. But if it was not, the true communication has never been completed, you feel insulted and degraded, he feels misunderstood and attacked, and the age-old gap is widened.

Guys often say sexual things about women which shock and disgust ME. Sometimes they are no doubt being cruel or thoughtless or degrading. But often, I think they're just letting what's really there out, unedited and untranslated for the female sensibility, and that what they intend as a heady compliment comes off as degrading. 

An example of this is that the kind of comments I was talking about making when I initiated this thread were definitely things which might be offensive to some of the artists- telling them how their pictures make me feel, ie that I would like to kiss them and taste them and smell their skin and lick their nipples etc... things I might whisper to a woman to whom I was making love in the hope of pleasing and stimulating her. It never occurred to me to tell the artists that I jerk off when I look at their pictures, or that I would like to jerk of ONTO their pictures etc. which other respondents mentioned and which both sound pretty rude to me. But even so, I can understand how a guy could have these thoughts and actually percieve them as a complimentary to an artist.

I think women have NO IDEA what really goes on in our heads, and we're NOT AUTOMATICALLY EVIL just because sleaze and sex and fucking is churning around in there most of the time. We're WIRED that way. We're MADE that way. It isn't a choice. We have a pretty good idea what you want us to say and what you want to believe we're thinking, and, since it is in our best interest to please you, we edit edit edit and translate translate translate. Not just us ISM guys... Not just porn addicts... ALL guys. Yes, your boyfriends and husbands and fathers and little brothers too (Gay guys too... only their objects are other guys. Think of the difference between the gay and lesbian cultures... In general, gay men are WIRED for sleaze but struggle to keep it under control, and lesbians just aren't).  Try as we might, there are times, when our feelings and our desires get the best of us, or when we believe we have a more intimate relationship than we actually have, that we will "let it out" as it is, untranslated and unedited, and we seem like vulgar bastards. I know that's hard to get, and that women really don't want to believe it about men, but I think it's pretty true.

We (men) can and should try our level best to respect your feelings and sensibilities and at least meet you half way as often as we can (especially if we want to get laid), but I really think that there can be more than one valid view simultaneously, and as long as women judge men's perceptions as "wrong" rather than "different", the communication gap will remain wide.   

What I'm looking for is some common ground, a way for us to say things which feels true to us, but is not offensive to you.

PS I believe that you (Pia) were leaning towards artistic expression and not sexual stimulation in your folios and videos. They are beautiful, and you are beautiful, and it is clear to me that you were trying to create and share beautiful images. You were trying to please us and share yourself openly with us, but you weren't trying to whip us up into a frenzy. Yours do not call for dirty words and heavy breathing. Clearly some ISM artists are into the human form and sublime imagery, denying any sexual undercurrent in their work. I think this is a bit idealistic for the ISM site. Some are into pure, raw sexuality. I think this is a bit out of the ISM mainstream. Most, I think it is fair to say, fall somewhere inbetween. Some artists are more clinically sexual, or are interested in exploring their sexuality in a fun and open way but without being super stimulating (ie Liandra Dahl's fantastic "heat" vids). But some pull together both the artistic and the sexual in a way that makes it hard for me to stay in the artistic frame of mind. An example of a couple of artists who are beautiful and produce beautiful images, but whose sexuality transcends pure art and moves into erotocism (deliberately, I like to hope) are Soroya, Gigi, Dawn, and my personal favorite, Laetitia.

SCSIgirl

Member

Re: How can we tell you we lust after you?

[QUOTE=pia]Actually I just checked and nobody has ever posted a crude comment on any of my folios .. the closest thing to a crude comment was 'folio could use a rectum shot' and that's not even crude is it .. although I didn't really like that comment for some reason .. I think because he was telling me what my folio could do with instead of just saying what he would like to see .. but I wasn't offended just mildly and briefly irritated. QUOTE]

Bear in mind, Pia,  that you probably never will see a crude comment,  certainly not in reviewing.  They get zapped by the tower guards with speedy dispatch.  They are up only until noticed.  Many of us have had less than crude comments vaporized.  And that is the stated policy right at the box where comments are made.

Of course,  in your particular case,  it's hard to make a crude comment about perfection.

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"Apple of my Eye", "bated breath", "brave new world", "caught red-handed" - all coined by Shakespeare.

Belgareth

Member

Re: How can we tell you we lust after you?

[QUOTE=pia]Actually I just checked and nobody has ever posted a crude comment on any of my folios .. the closest thing to a crude comment was 'folio could use a rectum shot' and that's not even crude is it .. although I didn't really like that comment for some reason .. I think because he was telling me what my folio could do with instead of just saying what he would like to see .. but I wasn't offended just mildly and briefly irritated. QUOTE]

Bear in mind, Pia,  that you probably never will see a crude comment,  certainly not in reviewing.  They get zapped by the tower guards with speedy dispatch.  They are up only until noticed.  Many of us have had less than crude comments vaporized.  And that is the stated policy right at the box where comments are made.

Of course,  in your particular case,  it's hard to make a crude comment about perfection.

I've just read your earlier post to this thread SG and I was about to say that I agreed with your sentiments about not being an ISM member for the arousal factor but, having just read this post of yours, I'm now trying to decide whether you are for or against the censorship of comments.

Given that a significant proportion of the male gender have their brains positioned three feet below their heads and that control of ISM is now in the hands of the female gender, for the benefit of the female gender (Head no longer being responsible, so he frequently says), I would suggest that comments that are seen as acceptable by the male membership are seen in a rather different light by the powers-that-be.

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SCSIgirl

Member

Re: How can we tell you we lust after you?

I'm not sure what motivates a woman to "shoot herself" - I'd really like to ask them in detail why they did it (I know I would not, but I have a poor opinion of my appearance). I suspect that we'll find many different reasons, indeed, many different categories of reasons.

I think the simple answer is:  Because they can.  If you bear with me,  I'll tell you a tale of Scuzzy Girl,  my idol.  I have never told this tale to anyone,  but since we are all virtual here and identities are masked,  I'll tell it here.

First you must understand that Scuzzy is a conservative girl with mixed signals.  Her standard work garb is spandex shorts and a tee shirt with no bra .  She is less than an A cup so she can get away with it  although nipple defination is quite pronounced at times.  Spandex over a perfect, well toned figure is also a considerable distraction.  Except for that sexy garb,  she was very inward about sex.  She rarely talked about it and never showed any skin during camping, or other "friends" related activities.  Even her few visits to Lupin "nudist resort" she stayed clothed.  The only known exposure was when she attended a lesbian music festival in Bezerkly and realized she was the only one with a top on,  she finally pulled the tee off.

So with this background of a normally reserved girl, picture this:  It was after the concert set-up and everybody was at dinner.  I was alone in the crew room.  Scuzzy flies in and tells me "Get out, SCSI,  I have to change into my show blacks".  Since I always teased her,  I replied: "Why Scuzzy?  You've got nothing to show...." With that she grabbed the hem of the tee and hoisted it up to her neckline and questioned: "What?  Is there something wrong with these?"  She held that tableau for an eterrnity  before dropping it and demanding again that I leave so she could change.  I meekly did as I was told.

My jaw musta hit the floor because I remember having rug burns on my chin.

What prompted her to do that?  It was totally out of her character.  I have known her for almost 15 years and I'm pretty attuned to her personality.  Did she have such a bad urgency that she felt dropping all barriers would get me out quicker?  I don't think so.  Was she in a playfull mood and felt it was time to give me the shock test?  Or did she decide it was time to immortalize herself to one of her admirers?  She was successfull at that.  If I get run down by a truck,  I won't remember it as well as her headlights displaying absolute perfection to my cranial archives.  Ten years have passed and I still can do a total recall on that one second in nirvana.

Why did she do it?  Because she could.  She knows that, out there,  someone idolizes her.  Someone she would never be involved with, pedestalizes her.  Someone she likes as a friend will forever cherish and remember her.  And she was naughty with that person for one brief moment.  It created an unbreakable bond.  We will never go through the pain of splitting up.  And although we've never spoken of it,  someday as old cronies,  we may laugh over it.

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"Apple of my Eye", "bated breath", "brave new world", "caught red-handed" - all coined by Shakespeare.