#1 December 13th, 2005 12:12 PM

jdudley76

Member

Totally, madly in love.... again

Warning: I am in an extatic mood right now so I may ramble quite a bit in this post. My appologies.

Hey everyone, sorry I haven't been around much for a week or so. Just when you think you've seen and done just about everything worth seeing and doing, life throws you something completely unexpected and so wonderful, it just makes you speechless. I've had the most incredible experience in the last week. I have fallen head over heals in love online in a SECOND relationship. I mean I've thought of myself as polyamorous for a few years now, but I never expexted to experience anything this intense and wonderful, especially when it's online only.

I guess I should provide some background: My fiance and I have been participating in an online virtual environment called "Second Life" for about 18 months now. (if you decided to try it out, say you were refered by Jeff Caldera, and I get in-world money!) About a month ago, my fiance met a guy in-world that she has developed a romance with. I didn't mind this at all, and she made clear to me that she would stop if I did. She was so excited about the wonderful feeling of being totally in love with two men at once, that she wanted me to find an online girlfriend. Of course, that's easier said than done, as you don't form a deep bond with the first person that walks past. Then a week ago, the strangest thing happened. I started talking to a girl I ran into about music (I was about to start DJing at an in-world club, and was looking for good music, and she had a Ramones shirt on.) We found that not only did we have our musical tastes in common, but just about everything else we talked about too. We talk for hours online late into the night, and never run out of things to talk about. I've found that not only have my feelings for her developed to a level I never would have thought possible, but this situation has also made my fiance and I closer than we have ever been before!

So to explain why I decided to ramble on about this here, I was wondering if anyone else here has had an experience like this before? If so, I'd really like to hear about it, and what were the good things and the bad things about your experience. This is very new ground for me.

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"This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating."   - George W. Bush, as quoted by the New York Daily News, April 23, 2002

jdudley76

Member

Re: Totally, madly in love.... again

I'm looking at you Belgareth. ;o)

... And you too Zille... if you're still here.

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"This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating."   - George W. Bush, as quoted by the New York Daily News, April 23, 2002

zille

Member

Re: Totally, madly in love.... again

I'm looking at you Belgareth. ;o)

... And you too Zille... if you're still here.

I am!  Just been busy!

I've had lots of experiences like that.  Poly lets you be open to stuff like that, stuff you would not get the opportunity to experience if you stay monogamous all your life.  Like your wife loving the sensation of being in love with two men at once ... love never subtracts ... the more you open your heart, the more love you have to give.  I know that falling in love with someone new has always made me fall in love with my current partner(s) all the more.

I remember when I was with my ex-wife ... and we were both so in love with this girl named Sybil.  Happily, Sybil enjoyed romping with us, and cared about us.  So my ex-wife and I were able to enjoying talking about Sybil and crushing on her when it was just us two, and then, when we were with Sybil, we were all able to enjoy the ... I can only call it the rush of love and joy that Sybil brought to us, and shared with us.  It was lovely -- and the memories are going to keep me warm at nights when I'm an old lady in a nursing home!

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~See more of me at http://zilledefeu.com

Belgareth

Member

Re: Totally, madly in love.... again

I'm looking at you Belgareth. ;o)

... And you too Zille... if you're still here.

And I will respond as soon as I have enough time :-)

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jdudley76

Member

Re: Totally, madly in love.... again

) I was starting to think this was a taboo subject or something.

I'm so glad to hear of the wonderful experiences you have had Zille. Sadly, I think I first started thinking of myself as poly because it seemed like the best way for me to deal with my pessimism about love (the seeming futility of making it last with one person for the rest of your life.) This experience is starting to change some negative attitudes I've had about some aspects of love that were ingrained in to me long ago, but out of habit, I'm still one the lookout for how my heart might get broken. My real question I guess, is what are the potential problems I should be on the lookout for?

Just to give some background: Audrey (my Real life gf) and Ellie (my Second life gf) are both aware of each other and seem to really like each other, and we have clear boundaries in place to avoid jealousy and to avoid accidental violations of trust. I am a big believer in honesty in relationships, so I wouldn't dream of hiding anything from either of them.

Are there any other issues I should be thinking about?

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"This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating."   - George W. Bush, as quoted by the New York Daily News, April 23, 2002