#1 October 1st, 2005 02:16 PM

pia

Member

Question for Artists who have submitted videos

OMG I finally watched the break and enter video's

Ok .. well .. I am not being self depreciative because i dont think i am retarded or dumb or probably even as fickle as i keep saying i am. . . but i certaintly was doing alot of cringing while i watched those videos. I find it really hard to watch and listen to myself talking without be very critical of my self. Watching them really made me question why the fuck i wanted to show this to the inter-universe, and why did i want to put naked pics of me on the internet ?
mmmmm .. it just feels strange sometimes. I'm not ashamed but i know if some people that i know saw the videos i would blush and squirm and probably not in a good way but in a regretful way. and thats the thing about the internet it is possible that anyone might see it.

i am curiousto know how other ISM contributers felt when they watched their videos. Did you feel embarressed, proud, happy, excited, ashamed or anything else? Do you ever wake up and think hhhmmm why did i do that?

Belgareth

Member

Re: Question for Artists who have submitted videos

OMG I finally watched the break and enter video's

Ok .. well .. I am not being self depreciative because i dont think i am retarded or dumb or probably even as fickle as i keep saying i am. . . but i certaintly was doing alot of cringing while i watched those videos. I find it really hard to watch and listen to myself talking without be very critical of my self. Watching them really made me question why the fuck i wanted to show this to the inter-universe, and why did i want to put naked pics of me on the internet ?
mmmmm .. it just feels strange sometimes. I'm not ashamed but i know if some people that i know saw the videos i would blush and squirm and probably not in a good way but in a regretful way. and thats the thing about the internet it is possible that anyone might see it.

i am curiousto know how other ISM contributers felt when they watched their videos. Did you feel embarressed, proud, happy, excited, ashamed or anything else? Do you ever wake up and think hhhmmm why did i do that?

Pia,

I obviously haven't produced any videos for ISM (well not yet anyway ;-) ) but I think that we all do things which we later may question. That's not a bad, it's just a natural human trait.

A perfect example of questioning ones actions is seen in one of the recent BA videos. The lady had spent some time reaching what was clearly an amazing orgasm and after the euphoric feeling had subsided she said "Oh my God, what have I just done?".

It didn't stop her submitting her video!

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tana

Member

Re: Question for Artists who have submitted videos

It's a really funny thing hearing your own voice on a video and being able to watch your own mannerisims. Looking at pictures of myself never makes me cringe and I'm pretty certain that my ISM shots never will whoever looked at them (with the possible exception of my grandparents!) However when I first watched my BA video on the web I had a cringe or two and I rember finding it really, really excruciating to watch videos I've done for other websites where I talk to the camera. Maybe it's because you give more of yourself away when you talk and move around for a camera or maybe it's because watching a video of yourself allows time for a self annalysis of your mannerisms, turns of phrase and the absolute rubbish you think you're chatting! I think it's true though that we are always too harsh on ourselves and I found watching the videos a few times has made me cringe less and I actually now enjoy the opportunity to watch myself as other people whould normally do. Let us know how you feel after a few viewings!

liandra_dahl

Member

Re: Question for Artists who have submitted videos

Pia,

I entirely empathise with you about watching your own vids. It's bizaar to feels so unfamiliar with yourself, your own mannerisms, the sound of your own voice. It's not entirely pleasant at first.  Tana is right though, it does get easier with each subsequent peep at your own submissions. I have been questioned so incessantly by my ex-boyfriend about why I put nude photos of myself on the internet that I think I can answer it with out thinking. I think this project is pure brilliance and I'd be more regretful of never being part of it than I would of any particular one of my submissions, I think women are beautiful, I don't think there is anything wrong with liking to look and admire, or liking to be looked at and admired, I think it is backwards that we are all so squeamish about our sexuality and desires, I love that the girls generally feel empowered by contributing to this site, I love the 'faults and all' non airbrushing principles of this site, I love that every submission reflects the artists/ subjects mind as well as her body.

I think you're videos are fantastic and all your submissions have been of a really high quality. As for worrying who might see it, it takes a minor adjustment in your attitude to what you have done. Don't be ashamed (or blush and squirm regretfully as you call it), that will only be detrimental to you. The thing is, if someone is on here looking at the submissions then they'll probably get it, and admire you for your bravery and artistry. If they are one of those hipocrits that like to look at the beautiful stuff on this site but judge the artists for being nude on the internet, well to those sorts I say F**K U, and you should too. To you, I say well done, great work, more please ;-) (That goes for you too Tana)

Li

Belgareth

Member

Re: Question for Artists who have submitted videos

Pia,

I entirely empathise with you about watching your own vids. It's bizaar to feels so unfamiliar with yourself, your own mannerisms, the sound of your own voice. It's not entirely pleasant at first.  Tana is right though, it does get easier with each subsequent peep at your own submissions. I have been questioned so incessantly by my ex-boyfriend about why I put nude photos of myself on the internet that I think I can answer it with out thinking. I think this project is pure brilliance and I'd be more regretful of never being part of it than I would of any particular one of my submissions, I think women are beautiful, I don't think there is anything wrong with liking to look and admire, or liking to be looked at and admired, I think it is backwards that we are all so squeamish about our sexuality and desires, I love that the girls generally feel empowered by contributing to this site, I love the 'faults and all' non airbrushing principles of this site, I love that every submission reflects the artists/ subjects mind as well as her body.

I think you're videos are fantastic and all your submissions have been of a really high quality. As for worrying who might see it, it takes a minor adjustment in your attitude to what you have done. Don't be ashamed (or blush and squirm regretfully as you call it), that will only be detrimental to you. The thing is, if someone is on here looking at the submissions then they'll probably get it, and admire you for your bravery and artistry. If they are one of those hipocrits that like to look at the beautiful stuff on this site but judge the artists for being nude on the internet, well to those sorts I say F**K U, and you should too. To you, I say well done, great work, more please ;-) (That goes for you too Tana)

Li

So eloquently put Li. I think we have all "squirmed" at hearing our own voices for the first time  and, in my case, at seeing myself naked but, I agree, it gets easier the more you do it. I take the stance of "this is me, if you don't like it then don't look (or listen)".

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pia

Member

Re: Question for Artists who have submitted videos

I really apreciate the advice you all gave me.. thanks guys.

I watched the videos a few more times .. and you are right Tana .. I was able to view them more objectively the last time then the first .. and if I look past the fact that it is ME whom I am watching I am able to enjoy them without cringing.

With anything you do there'll always be someone who thinks what you've done is crap. and I think it's true of most people that when they take the piss, if your upset and embarrassed they love it, but if your not bothered and couldn't give a toss they take no pleasure in that and just forget it.
When your feeling self conscious and stupid, just focus on the fact that there are plenty of people who like you for who you are. anna4amy

I guess we all have sooo much attachment to our own personality/image/presentation.. and we don't always see clearly who we really are. It is self acceptance that is much more important then acceptance from other people. It seems to be one of my biggest challenges in life to assert my individuality and just be me without apology. It is obvious that no one person can please everyone and hence it is logical to please oneself instead, then like minded people and people who accept you for who you are will be drawn towards you. mmmm yeah well i know that in theory .. but it's hard for me to put into practice sometimes.

I think this project is pure brilliance and I'd be more regretful of never being part of it than I would of any particular one of my submissions, I think women are beautiful, I don't think there is anything wrong with liking to look and admire, or liking to be looked at and admired, I think it is backwards that we are all so squeamish about our sexuality and desires, I love that the girls generally feel empowered by contributing to this site, I love the 'faults and all' non airbrushing principles of this site, I love that every submission reflects the artists/ subjects mind as well as her body. Li

I agree with you Liandra, this project is pure brilliance and I too would be more regretful to have not been part of it then I would of any of my submissions.
It's funny because although I have always felt that it is completely natural and healthy to enjoy looking at and appreciating people asthetically (whether nude or otherwise) I have often wondered if perhaps it is unhealthy to want to be looked at and admired .. how strange .. when I think about it now - it seems obvious that if it is natural to enjoy looking then it must also be natural to enjoy being looked at.

So eloquently put Li. I think we have all "squirmed" at hearing our own voices for the first time and, in my case, at seeing myself naked but, I agree, it gets easier the more you do it. I take the stance of "this is me, if you don't like it then don't look (or listen)". Belgareth

Yep. I like your stance Belgareth.. and I am going to take that stance more often. I mean .. I do kinda already and when I am like that things are fine.  so .. yes .. more often.

tana

Member

Re: Question for Artists who have submitted videos

I agree with you Liandra, this project is pure brilliance and I too would be more regretful to have not been part of it then I would of any of my submissions.
It's funny because although I have always felt that it is completely natural and healthy to enjoy looking at and appreciating people asthetically (whether nude or otherwise) I have often wondered if perhaps it is unhealthy to want to be looked at and admired .. how strange .. when I think about it now - it seems obvious that if it is natural to enjoy looking then it must also be natural to enjoy being looked at.

Hurrah for ISM and the opportunity to explore how we realate to the world and to see ourselves both physically and in terms of our desires and dislikes!

aurorya

Member

Re: Question for Artists who have submitted videos

I saw my own videos a few months ago (finally!) and have to say I too got all those "oooooh god...why?" thoughts and stuff.  But mainly I think i'm just photographically awkward.  And that i'm hilarious with the sound down and waaaay geeky and miserable and embarassing and all those things y'all mentioned above with the sound on.  I'm Buddhist, I'll move on.  However, I have not yest evolved to the point of comfort with them yet.  Need more repetitions!  Still, what a great thing to discuss.  It's like discussing other private things you never really share with ANYONE, like how you wipe after using the toilet, etc.  Really a relief to discuss.  (BTW once I found a survey online of bathroom habits...the best part was it showed anonymous graphs after you were all done, broken down to total, men, and women.  maybe i'll try to find it again. but that's why i used it as an example, not b/c i'm 'into' that stuff or anything)

Belgareth

Member

Re: Question for Artists who have submitted videos

I saw my own videos a few months ago (finally!) and have to say I too got all those "oooooh god...why?" thoughts and stuff.  But mainly I think i'm just photographically awkward.  And that i'm hilarious with the sound down and waaaay geeky and miserable and embarassing and all those things y'all mentioned above with the sound on.  I'm Buddhist, I'll move on.  However, I have not yest evolved to the point of comfort with them yet.  Need more repetitions!  Still, what a great thing to discuss.  It's like discussing other private things you never really share with ANYONE, like how you wipe after using the toilet, etc.  Really a relief to discuss.  (BTW once I found a survey online of bathroom habits...the best part was it showed anonymous graphs after you were all done, broken down to total, men, and women.  maybe i'll try to find it again. but that's why i used it as an example, not b/c i'm 'into' that stuff or anything)

I don't believe it matters whether or not you're "'into' that stuff", it's just facinating to read statistical information about things which are not normally discussed.

I would lay a bet that everyone here would assess themselves against those stats but I wonder how many would admit to falling inside or outside of the norm?

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aurorya

Member

Re: Question for Artists who have submitted videos

http://www.bathroomsurvey.com/  Go on.  Give it a try!

Belgareth

Member

Re: Question for Artists who have submitted videos

http://www.bathroomsurvey.com/  Go on.  Give it a try!

Me and my analytical mind!

Looking at the female/male percentile response and analysing my answers according to that ratio, I think I'm the wrong gender ;-)

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