#1 September 7th, 2005 05:19 AM

wantingscott

Member

what it feels like for a girl?

here's a question

i'm wondering. based on a current thread where i kinda touched upon this- but now i want to go further...

how does it feel for a girl the first summer that she's somewhat developed? it's gotta be confusing, or scary, or is it fun? did you want to flaunt your new self at the beach, or hide inside reading novels till sweater weather? did people suddenly treat you differently, adults act funny around you? did you laugh with some new-found power? were you angry that you somehow became an object, that your walking into a room suddenly became an event?

there is no parallel experience for a guy. the first mustache isn't even cool. i shaved mine off as soon as it went from blonde to dark...

Scott

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that's the way it goes. but don't forget, it goes the other way too.

liandra_dahl

Member

Re: what it feels like for a girl?

here's a question

i'm wondering. based on a current thread where i kinda touched upon this- but now i want to go further...

how does it feel for a girl the first summer that she's somewhat developed? it's gotta be confusing, or scary, or is it fun? did you want to flaunt your new self at the beach, or hide inside reading novels till sweater weather? did people suddenly treat you differently, adults act funny around you? did you laugh with some new-found power? were you angry that you somehow became an object, that your walking into a room suddenly became an event?

there is no parallel experience for a guy. the first mustache isn't even cool. i shaved mine off as soon as it went from blonde to dark...

Scott

First off I think you're wrong. There is a parallel for a guy. They clearly start showing signs of puberty about the same time and girls do respond reciprocaly. I think teenage boys are  sometimes painfully beautiful. Anyway, most people people loose their virginities with other virgins and mostly people experiement with in their same age group. Teenage women do have an appeal to much older men. Unfortunately it's often not comendable, if even legal at times. But teenage men can hold the same appeal, to men, and women.

Women often lust after younger men, but you do not often hear criticism of that. You know why? Because a man, no matter if he is under the legal age of consent, is always supposed to be in control of his sexual dominion, so a woman can not encroach upon it. A girl however is never believed to have been capable of the same sort of sexual autonomy. Just a theory, I can go inot more detail if anyone is interested... 

I find young men very attractive, I know that some of them are too young for me (17 and under), and I never pursue them.

But in answer to your question I do recall a time when I suddenly was creating a reaction I had not previously. It was immensely exciting, but essentially I misunderstood what it could mean and it was detrimental to me. You do want to flaunt yourself, you do find it fun, you know that men (and sometimes women) are eating you up with their eyes, but you are not aware of the complexities of any of this, and are too vulnerable to exploitation, whilst also being too joyful and sexual to be aware that anyone older has a sinister upper hand on you.

wantingscott

Member

Re: what it feels like for a girl?

Liandra,
your reply was eloquent, thank you! i was afraid my thread was left hung out to dry...
like the saying goes "the question asks more about the person asking it..."

Scott

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_________________________________________________
that's the way it goes. but don't forget, it goes the other way too.

nihilonx

Member

Re: what it feels like for a girl?

I find young men very attractive, I know that some of them are too young for me (17 and under), and I never pursue them.

Is 17 too young for you legally, or just on principle?

liandra_dahl

Member

Re: what it feels like for a girl?

Is 17 too young for you legally, or just on principle?

No, 16 is the legal age of consent here, so 17 is a principle, but then I haven't actually been involved with a 17 year old since I turned 19 over 7 years ago, but I did have a thing with an 18 year old just over two years ago.

obsidian01

Member

Re: what it feels like for a girl?

This brings back a few memories. As far as being the focus of theoretically immoral or illicit sexual advances, I was like one of those intersections where traffic accidents always seem to happen.

As a boy, you're not a victim, if anything at all you're just "lucky." At any age, everything depends on the other person, whether they are empathetic or caring or compassionate... or not... In my own experiences I never felt bad or even that guilty... just happy about it. 

It's touching that if you were attracted to the 17 year old me you would have protected him, but at the same time it's also funny because apparently there was never anything to protect.

I was often so curious what it was like for them as well, though, these suddenly-young-women, who must wonder what a crazy world it is, full of people who suddenly can't help but look at them... It seemed as if it couldn't possibly be anything like what I knew... but then again...

We treat youth as this ultimately fragile thing even while it is constantly victorious against the barrage of casual ultraviolence that everyday life deals out...

roxxie

Member

Re: what it feels like for a girl?

For me it was awkward, but exciting and full of anticipation. I think at that time I was too self-centered to think about other people's reactions to me. I was just more concerned to find my way in the world. I remember the push to find a boyfriend caused problems for me. I felt like I was supposed to be more grown up than I actually was at the time, and that everyone else already had a boyfriend and lost their virginity. It wasn't until I started dating college guys that I realized that I had matured much faster than many other people around me.

I'm really curious to hear about other people's experiences! I grew up in a small conservative working class town in Indiana, and I know that things are different for people in other places and at different times.

liandra_dahl

Member

Re: what it feels like for a girl?

...anyone older has a sinister upper hand on you.

I just re-read my post, i think this line should have read "anyone older can [B]have a potentially[/B] sinister upperhand on you". I certainly don't think all relationships between teenage women and older men are exploitative, though it did sound like it in that post I made.

voyeur2

Member

Re: what it feels like for a girl?

I just re-read my post, i think this line should have read "anyone older can [B]have a potentially[/B] sinister upperhand on you". I certainly don't think all relationships between teenage women and older men are exploitative, though it did sound like it in that post I made.

Hmmm

And also a sufficiently mature teenager can exploit the lusts and desires of older people.  This goes for teenage women as well as men exploiting older ppl of either sex.  It is common even though it goes counter to what our public 'morals' dictate.  We are an evolving society.

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Have I ever lied to you before?

liandra_dahl

Member

Re: what it feels like for a girl?

Hmmm

And also a sufficiently mature teenager can exploit the lusts and desires of older people.  This goes for teenage women as well as men exploiting older ppl of either sex.  It is common even though it goes counter to what our public 'morals' dictate.  We are an evolving society.

I've got no arguements with you there, The ability to exploit is certainly not exclusive to the domain of those over 19.

Markk02474

Member

Re: what it feels like for a girl?

Good topic and contributions.

I felt awkward and self conscious in the boy's locker room and also with my cracking voice. I was probably feeling too self conscious expecting ridicule to be aware of interest. Gossip today is more about surgical augmentation. At puberty, I dimly recall debate on bra stuffing and who was going with whom. Spontaneous erections aside, boys don't have a physical change as blatent as breasts. We don't have changes impacting running or tree climbing.

The other topic about minors having sex with adults is fraught with double standards. Girls are victums and boys are lucky. Some girls even feel confused when the action is "wrong", but feels pleasureable, similar to the situation with masturbation. Boys aren't made to feel such confusion in the first case as long as the older partner is female.

In the States, reports of priests after boys are vastly outnumbered by those by female school teachers at their sexual prime (mid 20's to early 30's). In the news yesterday a woman was fighting for custody for the child she had with the teen. He and his parents argued that her ex-con and sexual offender status make her an unfit mother. Men don't even need that to lose custody battles, another double standard.

wantingscott

Member

Re: what it feels like for a girl?

Markus,
thanks for the compliment on "good topic".
yeah, i agree with the whole perceptual standard of guys being "lucky" to have gotten an education from the older babysitter or the teacher.

i was listening to a Dar Williams album last week, her song "When I Was a Boy" pretty much covers the before/after sudden changes a girl goes through. Download it if you can, your comment on climbing trees and running reminded me of that.

my dad made me feel like a girl. he pedo'd me out as a kid, and when i was a young teen (13-14) working at a grocery store (with forged papers) the "nambla types" started being interested in me again. i told him about how angry it made me, his reply was "they see you as a beautiful girl."

the rage still fuels my fantasy of reincarnation as a girl. it's a revenge fantasy on male stupidity. it'll start the summer of my "first-year-tits" as 40 year old men in minivans crash into each other while trying to catch that last longing look...

then again... maybe not. the highschool girls wave to me and say "hi" when i'm in Starbucks on lunch hour. maybe i balanced my karma somehow? or do i just do too many drugs?

Scott

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_________________________________________________
that's the way it goes. but don't forget, it goes the other way too.