#1 August 29th, 2019 10:09 AM

viva

Member

are you anxioussexual?

Read this interesting article this morning...

https://www.gq.com/story/anxiousexual-rising

It's about stress and the way it effects desire. Evidently some people get really horny when they're stressed, while others shut down entirely...

which one are you?

(Gorgeous photo by the inestimable Penny_Lane)

Piper_A

Member

Re: are you anxioussexual?

OMG - I wish I became more horny when I was anxious/stressed, I would be the most permanently aroused woman on the face of the earth I definitely shut down when I am anxious, but I'd be interested to find out how common that is!

viva

Member

Re: are you anxioussexual?

I know right! check out the article, it's interesting! they said sometimes disclosing anxiety helps, I think I do do that a lot now - say when I'm feeling really tired, stressed or anxious and it does help me.

I think I get more horny when I'm stressed but not for like, healthy, slow sex. I just want to fuck and come with no intimacy when I'm stressed. My boyfriend really has to soothe me into connection and presence - which is ironic because that kind of vibe is exactly what gets me into my body and really cures stress for me.

LeoBloom

Member

Re: are you anxioussexual?

With men I think it might be different. As we're more or less permanently horny up to a certain age, being anxious or not doesn't make any difference to us. Our anxiety levels, though, might make a difference to you gals, as I suspect your experience of bad sex often comes from anxious men trying to shag their anxiety out on you.

Last edited by LeoBloom (March 17th, 2020 01:46 AM)

Terriblesjeux

Member

Re: are you anxioussexual?

Depends on the source of anxiety, but yeah it can manifest as increased horniness for me, which is sometimes uncomfortable but sometimes very welcome!

viva

Member

Re: are you anxioussexual?

I think lots of guys find anxiety makes a difference or not. Sometimes when men are worried or anxious they experience sexual dysfunction, right?

LeoBloom

Member

Re: are you anxioussexual?

I think lots of guys find anxiety makes a difference or not. Sometimes when men are worried or anxious they experience sexual dysfunction, right?

Only if your anxiety is focused on getting an erection (been there!)
If it's related to something else I haven't found it's ever had an effect on Bloom Minor, but, like other negative emotions, will tend to lead to a needy, insensitively aggressive kind of fucking. Which may be all right for the woman if she's in one of those "I just need a fuck" moods, but otherwise isn't likely to be much fun.

viva

Member

Re: are you anxioussexual?

oh interesting. so if your anxiety is about "whether you can perform", it might psych you out, but otherwise it just makes you selfish? That actually makes sense. But I feel like also sometimes when guys are just sad their sex drive plummets? Or is that just for sex, but not necessarily for masturbation (rate of hard ons)

LeoBloom

Member

Re: are you anxioussexual?

I'm nearly 70 now and I don't remember my sex drive ever plummeting, whatever my mood, until I was 60. Up till then, if you're a guy, you've got this crazy, demanding lunatic for permanent company who insists his needs are seen to - "AND I MEAN NOW!"
I find it great now to be less orgasm-driven and to be able to accept arousal coming and going without any need to follow through on it. It's years now since I masturbated on my own, though it's still fun in the presence of a woman (preferably with her doing it too). Spontaneous erections only seem to happen with morning glory, and otherwise a woman's hand is necessary. Nor will my dick tolerate condoms any longer.
I never get hard now looking at the material on this site - just a pleasant slight stirring and a sense of semen being generated somewhere deep down inside me. It's great! Yes, sometimes I could wish I got harder, but on the whole this mellow old man's sexuality is more satisfying - or certainly what suits me best now, and definitely a whole lot easier to live with. But then, when you're old, you probably get less anxious anyway.

viva

Member

Re: are you anxioussexual?

This is so beautiful to read Leo. There's something so quiet and satisfied... sexuality is so cool, obviously I'm obsessed in my work and personal life. But it can also feel like a hamster wheel... as a woman, sometimes I don't even get a refractory period of satisfaction. The more I orgasm, the more I need to orgasm... feels endless sometimes.

Terriblesjeux

Member

Re: are you anxioussexual?

Indeed, thank you for sharing, Leo!

LeoBloom

Member

Re: are you anxioussexual?

Hey, Viva, sounds as if you need to try the Old Man Experience. Sex with a seventy-year-old will be a whole lot less frantic. No more five minutes inside and he's finished, you'll be spending longer than that just coaxing his dick into life!
And I think you'll find we're not just gentle but grateful lovers. We can't believe our luck when we manage to pull a much younger woman and we go out of our way to indulge her in the preliminaries.
You might not have your brains fucked out, but your body will have been well and truly pampered by the end.