#1 December 24th, 2015 06:38 PM

Fe3Cman

Member

Relationships and being naked online

So I was recently watching Rosa's video and she said how she hasn't told anyone about being naked on the internet, especially her boyfriend. That got me thinking if it's common to keep it a secret considering a lot of the artists on ISM are in a relationship. I also started to think that it could be possible my gf is naked online somewhere and I have no idea (this has actually happened with past gf's and two of them are actually on ISM!). She's definitely not on any non-professional-model sites I know of (Feck, Abby winters, suicide girls) but I'm sure there are a lot of similar sites I haven't heard of. Personally, I think it would be pretty sexy if she submitted a set and I'd be quite proud of her. My only concern would be if any friends saw her online it could be a bit awkward knowing that they have seen her nude and probably had a wank over her.

Anyway my question is, who's told their SO and how did it go? And for the guys, would you be all good with you SO getting her kit off for the internet?

My answer: Yup, probably. Just wouldn't want to broadcast it to all our friends and family in the interest of preventing awkward catch ups.

LeoBloom

Member

Re: Relationships and being naked online

But, if that's your worry, people you know may have had a wank thinking about her anyway. No good worrying about what's going on inside everybody's heads...

Fe3Cman

Member

Re: Relationships and being naked online

But, if that's your worry, people you know may have had a wank thinking about her anyway. No good worrying about what's going on inside everybody's heads...

Good point... Very good point...

trevor

Member

Re: Relationships and being naked online

Hmm, Fe3cman, would it be awkward to share with your girlfriend the questions posed here?  Perhaps if you asked she would consider it an invasion of her privacy?  Sometimes "don't ask, don't tell" is best even in close relationships.

Anna_Belle

Member

Re: Relationships and being naked online

I find this very amusing because I definitely see the allure in 'the secretly being naked online' thing but i know quite a few girls on ism who have told their partners that they are online and most of their partners think it's hot but I've also seen it go the other way, boyfriends becoming jealous or feeling like it's 'less special' because other people can see it but I don't know any who have kept it a secret. I personally like to take a different approach, 'This is who I am and what I do, if you don't like it go find another girl who doesn't want to be naked for people on the Internet'. Though, I am openly a sex worker and I do feel very strongly about freedom of choice, sex work/nudity and female sexuality, to express it in all forms, I guess a lot of other people wouldn't be so forceful in their approach in telling a Lover or Partner but it works for me.

Elsa_H

Member

Re: Relationships and being naked online

Interesting question! I had already been with my ex bf for over a year when I started contributing to Feck and I ran all the projects past him before I started them. He seemed okay with it at the start but then started to take more and more of an issue with it as time went on so even though he knew about my involvement we didn't really discuss it. We've since broken up and I've begun seeing someone else - at this stage it isn't an official relationship and I got my job in the Feck HQ not long after we started seeing each other and I feel like we might have discussed it while we were drunk one night and he asked if I'd done the photos myself and I'm sure I would have said yes but I'm a little hazy on the details (oops). But in a nutshell, if we were to discuss it again and he had an issue with it, like my ex did, I see that as a result of this ridiculous notion that when you are in a relationship with someone their body is your body as well which I do not agree with. My body is only ever my body and if I choose to show it to people on the internet then you can just deal with that. I'm the kind of person who when in a relationship is monogamous and at the end of the day the person I am with is the only person who gets to experience my body in a physical way. Also it's not like we need to turn up to family dinners and announce that I'm naked on the internet.

Laney

Administrator

Re: Relationships and being naked online

'This is who I am and what I do, if you don't like it go find another girl who doesn't want to be naked for people on the Internet'.

My body is only ever my body and if I choose to show it to people on the internet then you can just deal with that.

You two are such powerful babes! <3 <3 <3

---

Editor/Admin/Forum queen

Skyhawk

Member

Re: Relationships and being naked online

Laney, you should talk! 

Skyhawk

Member

Re: Relationships and being naked online

But what about friendships with co-workers, neighbors and other family members?
Are those relationships affected by the additional information presented here?

Elsa_H

Member

Re: Relationships and being naked online

But what about friendships with co-workers, neighbors and other family members?
Are those relationships affected by the additional information presented here?

Well considering half of my co-workers are also naked on the internet I would say in this instance, no. And in my previous role when I was working in retail most of my co-workers knew as well and it didn't phase them. I think it depends a lot on the people surrounding individual contributors as to how open she is able to be/feels comfortable letting people know about being on the sites.

Also I don't actually know my neighbors/when I do I still don't share much with them. I also don't disclose quite a number of things I do in my personal life to my family members. Just because these are people in your life that you have a varying number of daily interactions with doesn't really mean you need to/are obligated to keep them informed on every single decision you make with your body.

I view letting your partner know as an entirely separate thing - assuming you are trying to build something that resembles a life together, if they had an issue with myself being naked on the internet then for me it becomes apparent we have differing sets of views and values and varying degrees of open-mindedness and to have a successful relationship I feel like you kind of need to be on the same page with these sorts of things or there will just be never ending conflict (like with my ex bf and I).

Danni_D

Member

Re: Relationships and being naked online

Id like to add my story to this.  When I decided to do this shoot, I was wondering how I was going to tell my husband about it and I just came out with it, anyway, it didnt go the way I had planned When I told him he said "Where do you find these weird websites?" I said "I googled "nude modelling" and it came up." To which I further explained that I shoot all the photos myself and that its a tasteful website ( let me add it was harder for me to actually admit to him that Im into gay porn and gay erotica, but I had to tell him because my youngest daughter caught me perving on sexy nude men so I just told him before she did ) Anyway, we had a huge fight about me doing this shoot, and he called me a slut just because I wanted to do something I felt good about I thought that if I was honest about it then at least he would know and I wouldnt feel guilty, but hey, he acted like a kid so I went ahead and did it anyway, and I dont feel guilty about doing it, its my body, and every other person Ive spoken to about me doing this shoot has had nothing but encouraging words for me.  I want to tell my parents because Im very close to them, but I will wait to do that.

trevor

Member

Re: Relationships and being naked online

Brava, Danni.  It takes a lot of courage to be open, sometimes even more so with a spouse or partner than with people with whom we are less emotionally attached.  Whether this is good or bad depends upon the person and the relationship so this is not something outsiders really ought to judge or even advocate one way or another.  I am sorry that it put a strain on your marriage though and hope you both work it out soon.  We all listen and learn from one another, yes?  It's good to have your contributions in the forum.  (But sure love your photographs too.)

Danni_D

Member

Re: Relationships and being naked online

I dont know why hubs was so against it, (and still is) he should be happy that other people find me attractive, its not like Im doing anything wrong, I dont know, he has very different opinions to me, oh well its done now and I still dont feel any guilt over it

trevor

Member

Re: Relationships and being naked online

I'm glad you're guilt free and happy with your folio (I sure am and return to it often).  I hope your husband comes to terms with it soon and that peace and harmony in your family is restored .  Please keep us apprised, Danni.

Danni_D

Member

Re: Relationships and being naked online

its never been mentioned again, he probably forgot about it but after I mentioned it to him he kept asking me if I was going to do it and to avoid arguments I just said I didnt know, I think he feels that he owns me since Im his wife but I dont belong to anyone, married or not

trevor

Member

Re: Relationships and being naked online

Mama mia, I don't really like owning anything let alone a person---far too much responsibility.

Last edited by trevor (January 31st, 2016 11:33 PM)

Breanna

Member

Re: Relationships and being naked online

Hi! This is a great topic and I have to say when I first considered posting on here I was nervous about telling my partner for fear that he would be angry or jealous. But when I told him about it his reaction was the complete opposite of what I was expecting, he understood and felt proud and even a little bit powerful because of the thought of others being jealous of what he has. He has been completely supportive throughout the experience and I couldn't be luckier - I love him to bits!