#1 March 7th, 2014 03:00 PM

Lena_D

Member

Thank you dear 'comments-makers'

Hey, I'm Lena_D. My first folio was released on the 1st of December 2013 and I have to confess that procrastination have prevent myself from writing this topic before... But as I care very much about what I'm going to tell you, I do it now. //better late than never.//

For those who won't read everything, I just want to say thank you the people who make all the lovely comments which can be found on the bottom of the folios. Thanks to them, the amazing friendly and easy-going atmosphere of the site is kept and will continue.

Now, I will tell you the little anecdote which has pushed me to open this topic!
So, I was looking for a job using a well-known classified ad website. I've put all my skills and the jobs I can do and of course, a way to contact me. From this day, I started to receive CRAZY answers //each one more unbelievable than the one before//.
Some of them made ma laugh a lot //the one who had a foot fetish was lovely : 'Hey I have a foot fetish on girls feet... Would you like to have your feet massaged and sucked for 20$ ? I'm a male 25 years old '//
I had some weird ones but still funny : '
HIM: 'You look for casual ?'
ME:'It depends on the job you can offer me'//Yep, I started to be suspicious ^^//
HIM:'If it's massage ?'
ME:'If there's no sex involved yes'
HIM:'Not a shop. Just sensual. No sex'
ME:'What does sensual means to you ? Precisely please.'
HIM : 'No clothes and happy' //AHAHA! This one is one of the funniest I think!!//

But unfortunately it didn't stop at this nice and still funny level and one really went too far. He was offering me a cleaning job in an office and when after 3 texts he called me 'my love' and I've shown that I won't let him talk to me just like I was his little thing, he get a little bit pissed... And get crazy, insulting me and explaining what he would like to do with my pussy. He even started to harass me, keeping calling me all day long util I black listed him !
Now, when I explain to friends of mine that I've done naked pictures of me which are on a website, I always tell this little story. The one where you can be insulted because an asshole has seen your smiling face on a picture and having your smile complimented by people who has seen you naked on a website.
Life is interesting.

So I say it again, thank you everybody for your intelligence and your open-mindedness. Thank you to make the feck websites possible and running so well!
//And feel free to leave others lovely comments on my shoot (http://ishotmyself.com/public/view_gall … =jaune_vif), I'm in fond of them ! //

Elsa_H

Member

Re: Thank you dear 'comments-makers'

What a horrible experience I think it goes to show the wonderful little 'community' Feck have created amongst their sites! Both the members and contributors are always so lovely and encouraging when they leave comments. It's such a shame that so many people don't share the same open mindedness and respect for beautiful women (and people in general) and feel like they are entitled to make terrible comments regarding other people's bodies, or harass them in any way they feel

Lena_D

Member

Re: Thank you dear 'comments-makers'

I agree so much with you Elsa ! And I think that another question comes up about the freedom and the impunity when you don't have the real person in front of you. It so interesting to see for example awful comments on youtube. Do you think people would be so abusive in a face-to-face exchange ? I don't think so. That's why I think the feck websites are furthermore a little paradise, where people are deeply human and respectful!

aarp33

Member

Re: Thank you dear 'comments-makers'

Hey Fe3C here. I have no idea why my username keeps changing. aarp33 is part of my gmail address and yet it sometimes logs me in under this username? Strange.

Anyway, wow what a terrible experience! It's hard to believe that some people are so nasty towards others. I don't think most people would be like that in real life. My gf's father is a psychology professor and he was telling me how some people build up an alias online where they can exhibit a different personality and be someone new but without facing direct consequences. It's sad because the people they converse with online are actually real people, not just lines of text on the computer or some random avatar.

It's great how the feck sites don't attract the kinds of people you mentioned earlier. TBH I don't think people like that would even get this site or understand what it's about (which is good). As a male, I can't contribute to the site but I can try to imagine how it must feel submitting your first folio and the last thing a contributor needs is a hater posting comments. Anyone who leaves negative comments on ISM probably doesn't get the point of the site- the folios aren't custom tailored to suit the wants and needs of the members, rather should be viewed as a reflection of the artist.

Well that's my opinion anyway.

Also I loved getting a response from you in the comments. It's nice to know they are being read and appreciated by you guys. So thanks! Also I've been hanging out for your reload, is that coming soon?

Ash

ps good luck with the job hunt!

polaroid

Member

Re: Thank you dear 'comments-makers'

Hi Lena,

I'm a bit nervous as this is my very first post in the forum but your post really affected me & touched on a lot of things I feel so strongly about & so I really wanted to write & say thank you for sharing what you wrote.

I'm naturally quite a shy person & so it took me a while to gain the confidence to begin posting comments on ISM & so the beautiful & kind way both you & Elsa responded to my comments, & the kindness you showed in your post about all the people who commented on your shoot really meant a lot & made me feel really valued & appreciated & gave me a lot of confidence too, & it's this that has led me to making my first post on this forum which I've wanted to join for a while & so a big thank you to you & to Elsa too:)

I'm sure I speak for everyone who comments on shoots when I say that even our most heartfelt thoughts & comments cannot even come close to expressing the absolute awe & wonderment that we feel for those who contribute to the site & express themselves through their photos. To me it's art & self expression at it's most elemental & life-affirming, but also at it's most revolutionary & socially powerful, to turn a situation in which society has programmed us to feel intense vulnerability into one which has the power to completely subvert these societal chains which only hold people back & rob them of their inner confidence, & become something, through people's photos & the unique experiences behind them, which can allow this life affirming confidence & all its transformative power to blossom & flourish. It's really inspiring. I'm in awe of all the amazing people, like you & Elsa, who contribute to the site. The most beautiful thing about it & what makes it so special to me is getting to read all the different reasons people contribute & what it means to them & to see that emerge through the photos & to see the experience sow the seeds of new found confidence. I feel so lucky that I'm able to share a little in people's experiences & writing to say thank you & to say what I felt about a shoot is the very least I can do & the way you & Elsa responded so kindly to my messages are the most special & beautiful moments I've experienced on ISM since I joined in '08. You're both such beautiful & amazing people:)

The way you wrote about the contrast between the way you've been treated on ISM compared to the experiences you've had recently really sums up why ISM is so special. I almost feel ashamed sometimes to be 30 & male & straight given the anger & frustration I feel at the way I see a lot of other guys my age talking about & treating women, especially those hiding behind the cloak of anonymity this social media age has unleashed & the effect those attitudes in society as a whole have on people's confidence & how powerless it can leave people feeling. It leaves me feeling powerless too at how soul destroying & depressing it can often be struggling to work out how we can change society for the better but the beautiful world of ISM points the way & seeing the wonderful experiences the contributors have & the wonderful comments people leave gives me confidence to hope that the world can change & I hope the love & joy you being on ISM has given me & all the other people who loved your photos can in some way help to heal the terrible way you've been treated in the experiences you wrote about.

Love & kind wishes to everyone at ISM:):)

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Find your truth. Face your truth. Speak your truth. Be your truth.

viva

Member

Re: Thank you dear 'comments-makers'

Wow this thread is so special and encouraging. I love so much the depth of feeling and authentic care expressed here by both members and contributors... it's really just SO GREAT! thanks everyone... it makes me proud to do what I do! you're all amazing xoxox

Elsa_H

Member

Re: Thank you dear 'comments-makers'

Polaroid, you are so lovely! I'm really pleased you've started posting in the forum

It's really touching to read how you (and the other members) perceive and appreciate the folios that we submit. I'm sure I'm not only speaking for myself when I say that by the time you finish the shoots, they've captured a portion of your personality and reflect who you are as a person. These images don't just focus on beautiful, naked bodies, but the minds and spirits of all the girls who participate; our little quirks that set us apart from one another, what makes us tick and what we like to surround ourselves with. I think one of the main reasons these projects can be so empowering is because you are always in control of the process and the outcome, so you only ever submit photos you really love and are proud of! Being enough of 40 odd photos to have them posted on the internet and then read all these lovely things that people post about them is a really foreign concept for me, and it makes me SO happy I decided to join Feck.

I find it super interesting (but sadly, not surprising), what Fe3C posted about people and their online alias'. There are also quite a few studies that have been conducted that have shown that the chances of women being "trolled" or abused online is significantly higher than those of men (not to say that it doesn't happen to men!! It surely does and is just as horrible). So THANK YOU, Fe3C and polaroid and all the other members who leave us beautiful comments! The contrast between how we are treated on here and how we might be treated/talked about in our daily lives can be disheartening (and totally frustrating), but the more men we have that express their distaste in how other men treat and talk about women, will hopefully lead to a shift in what is deemed socially acceptable. And the more sites that pop up like ISM and BA, etc, that embrace and support the individuality, brains and personalities of women instead of just using them for their bodies, the closer we get to a more equal world. I, personally, would love to see one where sex, sexuality and nudity aren't labelled or exploited, one where they aren't treated as taboo and can be freely discussed (much like we do on here) or aren't treated as fantastic marketing strategies...

This thread is getting me all worked up, there's so many emotions flying around!! Thanks again for all your kindness and support, it means the world! xoxoxoxoxo

Lena_D

Member

Re: Thank you dear 'comments-makers'

Hey folks ! So many answers, I'm going to write a novel one more time ^^ I'm very glad that my thread has been so inspiring and your answers are very interesting. It was a pleasure to read you all

Fe3C, I thought your name rang a bell //just as yours polaroid !// I'm happy to 'meet' you again around here. Especially because it's thank to you that I had those feelings I talked about in my first post!! You are amazing my dear 'comments-makers'. Thank you again guys for giving me faith again in humanity intelligence ! We'll make it ! ^^
//bravo polaroid, the forum finally let you in welcome !!//

I strongly agree with what you say Fe3C about people creating an alias, using their screen as a shield against the reality. I've worked on this fact too and I found some very ineresting behaviours //not very hopeful for the mankind unfortunatelly but still interesting...// I have to say that 'what happened to me' didn't affect me a lot, I have the capacity to take those kind of experiences with distance //hopefully !//. But I think that it's very interesting as I'm in fond of analyzing people's behaviours and reactions depending on their environment. And you're right saying that those shameless people are talking to real people, with no respect at all which can be a disaster for fragile people, taking that full-face //without having asked for anything most of the time !//

As a contributor, I wasn't really stressed about how my works would be appreciate. I have a big artistic background coupled with a strong personality so I know that I can't please everybody. And that's a good thing! But I agree with you Fe3C, nobody wants to receive bad comments especially if it has been a kind of ordeal of laying yourself bare.
I have to admit that before my contributions to the Feck websites, I thought it was a kind of one-way concept so I didn't even waited for comments ! I think you can understand why I was so happy to receive those lovely comments you made about my work //and me but I'm not responsible of what I look like ^^// That's also why I made a pleasure answering you, I was so happy to see that the experience is an exchange and not in one-way !

Polaroid, I am very glad you oversteped your shyness to write your first post in the forum ! About our answers, I think that Elsa would agree with me, we just can be grateful seing your comments. And knowing that you feel much more is even more breathtaking ! Just like you say, I feel powerful doing those pictures. And knowing that you're as happy as us is wonderful ! I am very touched of having been able to give you such a beatiful experience with only few words! It's magic to see what contributors give and what members give in return. I really like this exchange. And just like you, I like to understand why girls are doing it. Even more on ifeelmyself, it's so amazing how people get involved!

Elsa, I agree with you from the begining to your final xoxoxo, I have nothing to add ^^ And yeah Viva, I think we can be proud of what we do

My fingers are bleeding now, I have to stop writing.
Thank you for having been so concerned about my 'bad experience' you're cute !
And Fe3C, at least 2 folios are coming plus a video, hope they'll have the same effect on you it had the first time I'm on BA and IFM too now.

L♥ve, we'll change the world

polaroid

Member

Re: Thank you dear 'comments-makers'

Wow!!!:):):) so many amazing & inspiring posts since I last wrote, I'm really overwhelmed...this thread is incredible & thanks to everyone for making me feel so welcome:)

Lena it's been so moving to be a part of this amazing thread you've started & everything you wrote about my comments & posts was so touching & it was fascinating to read your thoughts on the experiences you wrote about at the start of the thread. Like Fe3C said too, it can be fascinating to analyse people's behaviour in different situations. I can totally understand that the kind of people who say horrible things to women online insidiously hide behind an online persona that they've created & might appear different from how they are in person but I just cannot understand psychologically how they can treat people like that, as if they're not real & won't be affected. It breaks my heart how many people's lives can be ripped apart & devastated by these experiences & totally agree with you Lena that for some people it can be a disaster. I really loved what you wrote about how you like the exchange between contributors & members, what they each give to the other, I think it's truly magical too & just as Viva expressed, I feel like there's such genuine authenticity & care. I feel like I'm treated as a real person & not just a name on a screen & that has really touched me.

Elsa you're so lovely too!! I think you're the most beautiful & inspirational person & I feel kind of starstruck right now. I wish I could give you a big hug!!:) You're very kind for saying you're really pleased I'm on the forum now. I was quite nervous so a big thank you for making me feel so welcome!!

Everything you wrote was amazing & inspiring & really captured the philosophy that inspired me to join ISM. As a photographer I spend every day trying to find & capture some inherent truth behind a scene, or in moments, atmospheres, places, fleeting moments that pass by unnoticed but when captured by the camera & held up to the light, reveal something that had remained hidden or ignored & missed. I feel the way contributors shoot on ISM fascinates me because I feel a connection between this & the idea that by turning the lens on themselves & by bypassing the conscious or subconscious influence or objectification of an outsider, contributors can use all the creative control & freedom that brings to truly evoke something of themselves, who they are & like you said, their mind, spirit & personality that society has for too long passed by & ignored & not allowed to flourish.

I feel just like you that its the absolute control & self expression in the shoots that makes ISM so awe inspiring because the emotional connection to the photos comes entirely from knowing the artist has had absolute & total control over the whole process & so every single photo has something fascinating to say about a unique individual, a piece in the puzzle of a unique personality. It always amazes me how much individual photographs can totally provide a window into someone's very being. An amazing example of this is the way Lena captured her amazing smile in her photographs, & the way you captured your eyes in your shoot Elsa totally wowed me, you have the most beautiful & incredible eyes I've ever seen & the amazing images you created made me feel like I wasn't looking at a photograph at all but could actually see into your soul. Most if not all photographers can only ever dream of being able to convey that in their work.

The intimacy, sensuality & sexuality of photos in each person's folio join with all the other elements of self expression in each shoot & are all parts which make up a beautiful & unique individual, with no individual part being subservient to the other. To me they all exist together along with the setting, how someone's personality comes through their writing & the beauty of each individual shines through how all these different aspects of someone's personality intertwine & illuminate each other. I feel like to take only the physical or sexual in total isolation from everything else after an artist has shared so much of her personality, to me would rip the very soul out of the process & would feel like a betrayal of the artist & her total expression of herself. This to me represents & symbolises the tragedy of how women & girls are objectified in this society, it strips away everything that makes up what it means to be an individual & removes from someone the very essence of who they are. It's cruelly ironic that as modern societies are giving people unprecedented levels of personal freedom & outlets for individuality, people are using the new found freedom of expression the internet & social media has given them to deny others these same rights by abuse, bullying, trolling etc & it's very upsetting that this freedom coupled with anonymity has allowed a lot of people's hatred & misogyny to emerge. I totally agree with you Elsa that whilst online bullying can affect anyone, it is overwhelmingly women & girls who get subjected to it.

I totally agree with Fe3C that as males we can only imagine what it must feel like to shoot ourselves, but also as a photographer the idea of turning the camera on myself is something I can only imagine & every time I see someone's shoot & it fills me with even more awe & appreciation at just how incredible it is to be able to express yourself in that way. In my life, particularly when I was younger & left home for university & was struggling to know who I was & how I fitted into the world I found it hard to learn how to be myself & express it outwardly as I just didn't know how to. It took me a long time to start to be able to love myself & to appreciate & celebrate myself as an individual, that all the things about me which are different from everyone else, instead of worrying how to suppress them to be more like everyone else, every day I try to see & to celebrate how those things that make everyone different from each other are also what makes us all an individual. I guess this also helps to explain why ISM makes me feel so much joy because I can see a little bit of that liberating & life affirming realisation & celebration of individuality happening to every wonderful person who contributes & I feel totally privileged that it's something we can all here share in. What Viva wrote about how this thread makes her feel encouraged & proud is so moving!! Wow!!!!

I wish that society as a whole could have these discussions & talk about these issues & I'd give anything to live in the world that you described Elsa where nudity, sexuality & sex aren't either taboo or exploited or marketed. I hope with all my heart that you & all the contributors to ISM know that you're inspirationally helping to create that world & bring it closer & so are joining with all the incredible people throughout history who have fought for female empowerment.

I'm so glad that I'm able to talk with you all on this forum, you've all made me feel so welcome & I think you're all incredible people & I feel just like you Elsa, there's so many emotions flying around & I'm getting all worked up too now & better stop writing otherwise just like Lena my fingers will probably start bleeding soon after writing this much, I'm so sorry at how long this post is, & I promise you don't have to read all of it!!

Love to you all,

Ben xx

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Find your truth. Face your truth. Speak your truth. Be your truth.

Lena_D

Member

Re: Thank you dear 'comments-makers'

Raaaaa Ben, you said only at the end of your post that we weren't obliged to read it entirely!! Ahah, I'm kidding, I would have read it all anyway ^^ and it was a real pleasure.

First, I would like to apologize because I've just checked the date of your post and it was 6 month ago and it is totally terrifying and I think that time went somewhere I don't know and we definitely have to find where.

I really liked your opinion on the way we have to shoot on ISM, and I guess that even physically (as we don't have the right to use the timer), we keep the members close to us, just like we were really sharing that genuine moment together. We keep you at an arm or leg distance for the 'furtherest' shoots. And it works. I guess that technically it's very important for the site to have that no-timer rule even if it's sometimes frustrating, it maintains the realness and that short distance between us and the spectator. And I think that is one of the important factors that make the site looking like a tasteful erotica website and not like those graceless amateur porn websites.

Ben, you talked about learning to love yourself, I can tell that ISM really really helped me in that way. I'm a very self-confident person but when it comes to talk about sex, erotica and usual 'taboo' stuff, it had always been harder for me. My Feck experience just changed my life in that extent.
First with ISM, I've learnt to see and watch me naked. And then watch others. And finding it beautiful. Not always, I still have my fussy tastes, which is good I think.
Then I've done Beautiful Agony. Other media, video that time, more explicit, less space for the imagination. But no nudity that time that compensated and made me do it without hesitation. I think I've never watched it now I talk about it! But the experience itself was what mattered. The Confessions were awesome to do, it pushed me to think and talk about stuff I had never before. And I loved it. I was hooked!
And finally I arrived in the I Feel Myself studio. Such an experience! Mixing the ISM nudity and the action of BA, what could be better? I just loved it, and did it again in the forest, on a piano, in the grass... And with that project, it's the revelation! It just brought me so much more confidence and open-mindedness. And being part of the forum is very interesting.
I learnt so much about me and sexuality with those projects and with sharing around the subject. And I like sex, so it made me happier and way more self-confident about it. Life changing!

So guys, even if you can't contribute directly on ISM, I think that the experience itself is interesting so just go for it and keep the pictures for you! And you can still share about it on the forum
So, who are the courageous/curious ones around??

Talk to you soon on ISM, BA or IFM forum!!

polaroid

Member

Re: Thank you dear 'comments-makers'

Hi Lena:) you're so lovely to say it was a pleasure reading my post & totally no need to apologise for not being able to reply straight away…i'd hate for anyone to feel obligated to have to reply quickly or anything!!! I'm just so overwhelmed whenever anyone wants to reply to something i've said at all:):) Its still a lovely feeling when that happens as everyone is so amazing around here & i love hearing so much what people have to say:) As far as the mysterious disappearing of time goes, i often get freaked-out sometimes when i realise how quickly time has gone so i agree that we definitely have to discover where it went!!;)

I really loved the way you used the technical aspect of ISM requiring physical contact with the camera without use of the self-timer & the physical closeness that gives to the photographs as a kind of representation of the intimacy & realness of the distance & relationship between you & the spectator, & how important that is to the site. I can definitely agree, as to me viewing ISM folios doesn't make you feel like a spectator, but draws you in & makes you feel part of a kind of interaction between contributor & viewer which evokes a connection between the two quite unlike anything else & this to me is such an amazing part of why ISM is so totally unique & totally wonderful.

Wow Lena, its really incredibly moving to know that ISM helped you to learn to love yourself & that all your experiences with Feck have had such an incredible influence on you & changed your life. It's an amazing feeling to read your words & know that these experiences have brought you so much more confidence & enabled you to learn so much about yourself & sexuality & become happier & more self confident about something you love so much!!:):) Its overwhelmingly special that you were able to share such beautiful experiences with us all & i feel so privileged to be able to in some way share in those experiences as someone who has loved all your shoots so much & is finding the experience of discovering all your IFM videos really incredible & beautiful too:):) I'm glad you find the forum really interesting (just like me!!) & i hope that you'll be a part of it long into the future too!!:):)

Looking forward to chatting to you some more soon too Lena:):)

Ben xx

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Find your truth. Face your truth. Speak your truth. Be your truth.