#1 March 15th, 2013 10:40 AM

blissed

Member

Another thread

I don't care what Paranoid meant, I care what he typed. I do not want to discuss this further here in the music thread, but if you have concerns about what is appropriate on this forum and what is not, we can start another thread to discuss that.

Viva why did you edit out the sentence that clearly separated paranoids teenage comment from his having sex comment. It seems almost intentional to misunderstand and demonise him when it's clear having sex with a child is not what he meant at all. When what he meant and typed is he would have sex with her if she was younger than she is now (she's 67) The teenage and sex comments and thoughts, are as typed, to me clearly separated.

Here's your quote with the important sentence missing

She is so beautiful she looks like a teenager. I'd certainly like to have sex with her if she was a number of years younger but she cannot have sex with every male fan, it would be too much for her to endure as a submissive object of adoration.

What the fuck.

And here's the original again

Debbie Harry

She is so beautiful she looks like a teenager. I like her high-pitched, slightly grating voice. I'd certainly like to have sex with her if she was a number of years younger but she cannot have sex with every male fan, it would be too much for her to endure as a submissive object of adoration.

So there you are. That's what he typed.

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Last edited by blissed (March 15th, 2013 10:48 AM)

viva

Member

Re: Another thread

Hi Blissed,
I will respond to you here as best I can.

I removed the line about her voice when I quoted because it was irrelevant to my concern and did not change the resulting paragraph either way. The sentences do not need to be connected, they are problematic by themselves. And they are not the only upsetting sentences in the quoted text.

"She is so beautiful she looks like a teenager."

I am not ok with members referring to teenagers in an erotic context without the discussion being informed by thoughtful and considered examination of ones own fantasies and social responsibilities.

"I'd certainly like to have sex with her if she was a number of years younger..."

This is ageist and irrelevant. This is not a forum for members to discuss which public figures they'd like to fuck and their standards for those figures being acceptable as fucking material. Debbie Harris is a real person, remember? I would never accept this kind of discussion about a contributor, and neither a famous person, whether the variable is age, weight, intelligence, shoe size whatever. The attitude assumes that the author has a right to say this about her. He does not. The statement is not appropriate. Not respectful.

".. but she cannot have sex with every male fan, it would be too much for her to endure as a submissive object of adoration."

She is not a submissive object of adoration. She is a woman who likes to sing and got famous for it. We don't refer to women as submissive objects of adoration around here. The whole idea of Debbie Harris not having sex with every male fan because it's 'too much for her to endure as a submissive object' is blatantly sexist and bizarre.

Let me sum up. Unless you are considering a broad discussion about youth and sexuality, fantasy and reality, sexism and oppression etc - stay away from discussing teenagers or your standards for someone being lust-worthy around here. A post celebrating bellies is good, a post saying you'd only fuck someone if she had a belly is bad. A post saying someone looks beautifully youthful is good, a post saying so-and-so looks like a teenager when she is naked and presenting herself in an erotic context is bad.

Ok thanks.

blissed

Member

Re: Another thread

I thought you were trying to say paranoid wanted to have sex with her if she was younger than a teen. Which is how his comment reads the way you edited it.

I agree with all the other things you said about his post but something like your above post would have been a better reaction than simply saying what the fuck. An explanation is better (You could have started this thread) .than what to them is puzzling aggression. Knowing how to deal with people who are kind of porn mainstream and unaware isn't easy here, so I'm not criticising you just offering advice that it's better to make someone aware while keeping them on side. Sometimes it's just a lost cause and they're just too stupid ha ha but it's worth a try. 

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viva

Member

Re: Another thread

I hink you're right in general blissed, but as ISM editor now taking the time to make these considered posts is a stretch for me. I'm glad I had the opportunity to explain my reaction but I can't always.

artemesia

Member

Re: Another thread

".. but she cannot have sex with every male fan, it would be too much for her to endure as a submissive object of adoration."

She is not a submissive object of adoration. She is a woman who likes to sing and got famous for it. We don't refer to women as submissive objects of adoration around here. The whole idea of Debbie Harris not having sex with every male fan because it's 'too much for her to endure as a submissive object' is blatantly sexist and bizarre.

Viva summed up everything really nicely, and I think I learnt a lesson from Aven and Viva in being a little bit more careful about the images I post.

I'd like to add that it's a terrible thing to imply that ultimately Debbie Harry and all the other amazing talented lady musicians out there are only good for fucking. Or that in someway they should be available for whoever wants to fuck them. A lady has a right to choose not to have sex, not to be pretty, not to do any of that, why does she have to be sexually available to be worthwhile, can't a lady contribute in other ways??

paranoid24

Member

Re: Another thread

I'd like to add that it's a terrible thing to imply that ultimately Debbie Harry and all the other amazing talented lady musicians out there are only good for fucking. Or that in someway they should be available for whoever wants to fuck them.

I think the artist is a figure of power and glamour in itself, through her performance. More than her outward sexual exhibition, there is already an object of fantasy which reveals itself in a provocative manner.

artemesia

Member

Re: Another thread

That's what I'd like to believe too. Performance is enough in and of itself. Just because someone performs doesn't mean that they are sexually available.

Eh paranoid, you're a sport, thanks for acknowledging the mistake in this thread and the other....

paranoid24

Member

Re: Another thread

It's pretty clear I'm not entitled to decide what women do let alone demanding sexual favours. I don't treat artists or anyone in a different way. I don't want you and Viva to state I say the contrary and I'm sorry if there was a misunderstanding regarding the age of the women I'm attracted to, or wish I had sex with. I'm rather vintage, seeking models with hair and stuff like that, and usually not paying much attention to how old they are.