#1 July 17th, 2009 08:43 AM

bigblackman

Member

Cyber Sex

Hello everyone, I'm new here.

I'm not actually black, I'm white, I'm not sure why I chose this username to be honest...

I was wondering if anyone here participates in cyber sex, how they feel about it and whether they use cameras or not?

Also the anonymity of it, if you find it enjoyable.

I enjoy having cyber sex, however it is difficult to find real women on the internet and build up a relationship with them.  What are your guy's feelings on this?

Folly

Member

Re: Cyber Sex

That's intersting bigwhiteman.
When you are having cyber sex are you actually wanting to find real women to have a relationship with?
Because from what I've observed a big allure of cyber sex is the anonymity you mentioned and hand in hand with that, the ability to be someone else, anyone else that you can dream up.  I understand that part of the fantasy is perhaps escaping from who you really are and exploring what sex might be like as another person.  Maybe you too enjoy this and that is why you chose that username. 
I really like the concept of avatars and am interested in what sex can be in the cyberworld, since it opens us the realms of imagination and fantasy and can allow people to do things that simply aren't possible in real life. 
Does anyone have any experience with this?

veronicaf

Member

Re: Cyber Sex

On wow im a big fat bull named Clarabelle.  Not very sexy.  (Yes laugh at me all you like folks...Im a big nerd)

I really can't wait until someone develops a language between our brains and binary though.  Cyber sex would be the ultimate then.  Not only could you experience an orgasm via someone on the other side of the world but you could tweak your nerve signals so you can replicate the sensations other people (particularly the other gender) experience.  WOOP!

bigblackman

Member

Re: Cyber Sex

@Folly:  Yeah I like to find women not so much for an offline relationship but women who I am able to talk to and build up some kind of relationship with online.

You mentioned escapism, and obviously how you act online doesn't have to be how you naturally are in the real world, but I enjoy more to have a talk and then have cyber sex than simply to go right into the cyber sex without much background, it's kinda boring that way.

Folly

Member

Re: Cyber Sex

Hey I totally get what you mean - building up some sort of rapport with someone can enhance the experience if/when it goes on to include cyber sex - just like it can in rl.
I got scared off from most cyber sex experiences when I was younger when they went like this:
a/s/l?
wanna cyber?
Haven't been in chat rooms for quite a while now so I don't know if this approach has changed.

But out of interest do you ever indulge in describing yourself differently, being someone else etc? Of course in cyber sex you are a lot more upfront and less inhibited with things that (most people) would not say to a person on the first meeting.  And I think that could be really liberating. 

Just wondering bigblackman, how you personally might act differently?

And to get back to your first post: tell us more about how it's been difficult to find people for this? Is it that they aren't interested in talking first?

veronicaf. Clarabelle sounds hot.  he/she must be into a bit of genderplay hey? Being a bull named Clarabelle and all.

bigblackman

Member

Re: Cyber Sex

These days in chat rooms it seems to only be cam girls who want your money, so they aren't very good.  But yeah generally chat rooms aren't the most romantic of places

And yes I do indulge in describing myself differently sometimes, and at other times it's also arousing to describe myself how I really am and "expose" myself like that.  Obviously when webcams are used that happens anyway, so then you can't really indulge in being someone else.  But yeah it's also very liberating to be able to talk completely openly and without any inhibitions.

How I personally act differently to how I act in real life depends on the person I am talking to and how I feel like acting after talking with them.  Sometimes I am more dominant than I am in real life, and other times I become more "hardcore" (couldn't find any other word,) which I am not in real life.

About how it's been difficult to find people...  They're not interested in talking first if I find someone at all.  In chat rooms it's kinda hopeless and elsewhere on the internet I haven't really found anyone lately either.

alisha-x

Member

Re: Cyber Sex

Cybersex is a kind of escapist role play. I think people do it for lots of different  reasons. Some people just want to indulge in something that is annonymous and a little dangerous and outside what they normally do in real life, they may be as you say, more dominant online or just different to how they are usually. This is where the role play comes in - Just as I am definately more silly, gigglyand flirtatious when I wear something silly like a maids outfit ticking a girlfriend with a feather duster, people find the online annoymous aspects very freeing for them to play a different role. One they can chop and change as the mood takes them without feeling like they have any defined way to behave or expected way to act.

I can see it being very liberating. I have definately said things during phone sex I wouldnt say to my partner in person for fear or looking silly, that isn't to say I am horribly repressed and need a phone - it's just that it is fun sometimes to step outside your normal criteria and try things out, or to be someone you aren't normally with no reprocussions. I knwo sometimes I am dominant and want to tie up and tickle pretty ladies - but I dont want that expected of me every time! Sometimes I want to be tied up and dominated - equally I dont want that every time either!

I think also there are some things where the ideas and the thoughts are sexier than the reality - if someone really tied me up and hung me off the ceiling for that once a year I feel like it, I bet my arm would go numb, or I would fall down, or they woudln't get it right... bah - sometimes it is just nice to pretend and daydream - cybersex allows you to share those daydreams in a potentially annoymous no strings attached kinda way... I can see the appeal.

I say this, but I haven't often had cybersex with a stranger - it was usually for long distance relationships with me - but the distance of a screen can bring a closeness you darent have if it wasn't there... so I can relate. I don't know where you can go to find other people interested in this though. Such things are quickly taken over by the fakes trying to get ur credit card pin as you talk sadly. I hope you find somewhere good to play online soon. Until then I hope us ISM girls photos can keep you company until you do

Kisses

Alisha X

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kisses,
Alisha X
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