#1 June 30th, 2015 03:04 PM

Elsa_H

Member

Hi guys, it's me, Elsa

Hello! I haven't been super active on the forums lately, due to my life being next level crazy busy, so I thought I might pop my head in and let you all know what's been happening in my life of late in case anyone is interested!! It's a bit of a mix bag - I've found myself a single lady for the first time in 6(!!) years (I'm still very good friends with my ex which is nice) and I am REALLY loving being on my own. I can do things like get drunk and kiss cute boys while I'm sitting in a bathroom sink at 5am, go and party in hippy communes on top of mountains with the most amazing view of melbourne and focus all my time and energy on myself. I've also moved out of the house I've lived in for three years - it was my first home in melbourne and how I met all my amazing friends. It was a very emotional move but that house had a lot of stagnant energy for me due in part to the fact I moved in there around the same time I started dating my ex. I have some new tattoos which I really want you guys to see because I know a couple of you will particularly appreciate them but my laptop is broken. Maybe if I send them to the amazing Laney she might be able to upload them for us?! and one more big piece of news which I am most excited about...I am moving overseas in October! A very dear friend of mine and I have booked tickets and will spend a month road tripping through France, then will catch the train to Berlin where we will spend a week with a close friend of ours who lives there and then she will return to melbourne and I am going to head to England to work out where I want to live! if anyone has some amazing places I should visit in France (or anywhere else, Trevor I'm looking at you), I would love to hear about them and any European adventures you would like to share with me! I'm going to try and keep this shortish and sweet (I feel like a teenage girl gushing at her diary, apologies everyone), but I just wanted to give you all some updates. I've entered a very interesting and transitional time in my life and I am really thrilled about it. x x x

Laney

Administrator

Re: Hi guys, it's me, Elsa

Hey Elsa! It's so good to hear from you again!
Man there are so many parallels in our lives right now! I haven't been reading the forum much either because I've been insanely busy getting a month's worth of work done in advance so I can take a holiday to Europe in August. If all goes to plan I will be travelling from Amsterdam, through Germany, the Czech Republic and France then back to Amsterdam. I will let you know of all the best places I visit! .

I'm newly single-ish for the first time in 6 years as well, but not really enjoying it at all. It's been less kisses and hippy communes and more crying while watching nature documentaries in bed. But I'm glad you're happy and friends with your ex, hopefully I'll get there too.

As for your new tatts, send the photos this way girl! I'd love to post them for you

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Editor/Admin/Forum queen

polaroid

Member

Re: Hi guys, it's me, Elsa

Hey Elsa!!!

Sooooo excited to see your message (i've missed you loads) & really excited too to hear all your news & about all your amazing plans!! First of all though i'm so sorry to hear about your break-up…I was with my ex girlfriend for 6 years as well before we broke up & whilst everyone's experiences are of course really different, i totally feel for you in what you're going through & know very deeply from my own experience what a transformative time it is, almost like a rebirth into a parallel world where everything looks the same but somehow feels different, almost alien, & also really exciting, where you almost have to learn to live again, to find your feet & live truly in the moment as yourself again. What you said about how emotional your move was because of the association with your ex really resonated because for me, it was places that we shared together or that i associated with her that i found the most unnerving & hardest to cope with because the memories felt like some kind of past life regression that i both recognised but felt distant from. It really struck me how quickly things & places that were such a part of my life suddenly became strange memories, replaced with new experiences & new memories. Embracing the truly transformational side of finding yourself again is definitely the most life-affirming & best way of emerging anew from the other side of what can be a traumatic experience & i think having all your travel & moving plans too so you are literally beginning a new life is even more transformational : )

Its so exciting that you've dealt with everything by throwing yourself head first into your new life with so much crazy exciting stuff going on (i really wish i could escape to a hippy commune too right now, i cant think of anything i'd love more) & Elsa i'm completely over the moon with excitement for you about your European adventure & your move over here to England!!! (although we're in the middle of a heat wave at the mo so the weather is probably more Australian than English here at present!!) I can tell from your excitement that this is going to be one of the most incredible & formative times of your life & you'll have adventures & memories that'll be a part of you forever. You're an amazing & beautiful person Elsa & you deserve the best time ever.

If i could recommend one part of Europe that i think you'd love too, it would have to be the Basque region of northern Spain. I've been lucky enough to spend a little time there in recent years & i've totally fallen in love with the place, the people, the culture…including the most incredible food culture i've ever experienced. The whole region is totally unique with its own language & distinct culture & the people are the most friendly & warm i've ever met. The last time i was there i was in Bilbao & spent the whole night wandering from bar to cafe to bar, meeting amazing people & trying incredible food & i have to say, the nightlife in that region is just amazing, so full of the intoxicating vitality of life & all its sights & sounds & emotions & through all your senses. I have memories from my travels over there that will be treasured forever : ) When i was 18 i played in an orchestra & we toured around northern/central Spain in the summer playing concerts & i got to see some pretty amazing & beautiful places further south towards Madrid too, like Segovia with its winding streets, Roman aquaduct & fairytale castle which when i was there i fell in love with & thought was the most beautiful place on earth. So my recommendation would be central/northern Spain & the Basque region. France is beautiful too. I've spent quite a lot of time on family holidays in both the Charente & Dordogne regions exploring places (& food & wine of course!!) & thought they were stunningly beautiful & utterly idyllic too.

I know you'll absolutely love Berlin as well…what an amazing city!!!

Thanks again for sharing all your exciting news Elsa…i'm really thrilled you wrote & i'm so happy for you!!!

Ben xx

ps i'd love so much if Laney could help you share your new tattoos with everyone : ) Being such a fan of your original tattoos (especially your rose which i've always thought is the most beautiful tattoo i've ever seen) i know i'll be so excited to see them : )

Last edited by polaroid (July 1st, 2015 12:27 PM)

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Find your truth. Face your truth. Speak your truth. Be your truth.

polaroid

Member

Re: Hi guys, it's me, Elsa

Hey Laney,

Have really missed you around here too. Just seen your message to Elsa & just wanted to say i'm so sorry to read that you're going through a break up too : ( It seems all three of us have gone through a 6 year break-up thing (what is it with 6 years...must be some weird significance with the number 6) I wish we could all share a big hug somehow. It can definitely be such a tough time & especially in the early days after my breakup i had a lot of times where i totally hid away & spent all my time watching random documentaries too (i think documentaries are the best thing to watch when you're really down or struggling with things, they're such a great distraction) & I did a lot of crying too but just like i said to Elsa, the transformative & thrilling time where you rediscover yourself & restart your life feeling like a new person does come eventually, even if it can feel a million miles away right now & i promise with all my heart that you'll feel amazing soon too with excitement & kisses & hippy communes & all associated loveliness too. Just like Elsa i think you're a beautiful & amazing person & you deserve so much happiness. I'm thrilled for you too about your upcoming travels as i hope that having this incredible experience sailing towards you over the horizon will fill you with just enough excitement to help you through how you're feeling. I'm really excited for you!! I've wanted to visit Prague for ages, ever since watching 'The Unbearable Lightness of Being' years ago (still one of my favourite ever films) so if you get to go there whilst you're in the Czech Republic then you'll have to take some photos for me : )

Anyway, just wanted to say hi & that whilst i totally understand how busy you are before your travels, i hope you know that as Forum Queen, you are very much loved : )

Ben xx

Last edited by polaroid (July 1st, 2015 12:29 PM)

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Find your truth. Face your truth. Speak your truth. Be your truth.

trevor

Member

Re: Hi guys, it's me, Elsa

Dear Elsa, Laney and Ben,

How lovely to see such caring and support that each of you shows towards the others.  This is indeed the sweetest of forums.

I've often wondered if there is not a physiological, chemical happening when two people are romantically attached that creates an actual chemical addiction dependent not just upon being with another person but that person in particular--such that when the relationship ends, there is a real, not imagined, withdrawal.  Why is it that when there are so many available men and women we still suffer the loss of one in particular, even when that person was not particularly well suited to us?  Why does the intellect not easily restore balance to the wreck that the emotions cause us?  So, we shouldn't be too hard on ourselves that it takes awhile to get over a break up and the ensuing withdrawal pains--but do keep in mind that one does recover.  Friends and other distractions like travel are also helpful.  And the impact of a breakup is not the same for everyone.  But many books have been written over the centuries on this subject ("there is nothing new under the sun"), no need for me to say anything more than that from the little that I have come to know each of you through this forum, I have come to love  and respect you.

Ah, and Elsa, you ask about travel to Italy.  Yes, yes, yes.  As I've said before in this forum Italy isn't one country, it is many.  This because after the fall of the Roman Empire, Italy was divided and much occupied until the 19th century.  So, modern Italy is quite a new thing and has to this day not truly become integrated--a blessing for visitors but a problem for day-to-day life.  Some commentators get carried away with their romantic notions of chaos; it's not at all romantic in reality.  But, it is endlessly fascinating and beautiful (as a visitor, it's much easier to "edit out" the unpleasant). I do think you should plan on spending some time here.  The continuum of art and architecture is simply extraordinary--the more so since some of its most ancient structures have remained intact for upwards of 2,000 years; they haven't had to be unearthed by archeologists like in ancient Troy.  Equally amazing are the olive trees in Puglia that have been carbon dated back 2,000 years.  And the local and regional cuisines are as diverse as the dialects that are still spoken. One cannot make generalisations about Italians, only about the localities.

Please feel free to write me should you have thoughts about visiting any particular place in Italy.  I am not all knowing by any means but I will tell you my thoughts and be honest about the limits of my knowledge.  I should add that I have deep affection for the other European countries as well.  Politically and socially, I love the Scandinavian countries the most but most of my Scandinavian friends can't imagine why anyone wouldn't chose living in Italy over the cold north.  Meanwhile my Italian friends despair at the state of affairs in Italy and long to leave--ah, but for emotional reasons they cannot part from their extended families.  Humans are frail and full of contradictions and paradoxes.  The worst among us are evil, selfish and vile but most are just ignorant and misguided, often working against their own self interests.  Then there are the sweet, gentle, thoughtful, giving individuals who make joy in life possible.  Remember the expression, "public sorrow, private joy."

At times, when I look at the state of affairs, I think I should move my family to NZ or Australia.  Melbourne in particular looks very tempting.

With love,

Trevor

Last edited by trevor (July 3rd, 2015 08:27 PM)

Elsa_H

Member

Re: Hi guys, it's me, Elsa

Hello, I am so sorry to just drop in and leave everyone hanging like that!!

Ben and Laney, I should probably clarify my somewhat misleading statement, I was actually in back to back 3 year relationships and not one, long 6 year one. So navigating single life was very tricky for me, but it wasn't my first heartbreak in that time period! I hope the two of you are finding the strength and solace that you need. I feel very fortunate that I have amazing friends to support me, but I also feel like my relationship was such a mess for so long before things ended, I'd actually done most of my mourning for it while I was still in it. In the last month or so I've been experiencing such clarity and can see how terribly unhappy and anxious my situation was making me. So I've actually decided to come home to Melbourne after gracing Europe with my presence in October - it's too difficult for me to leave my life here when this is the happiest I have been in so many years.

Trevor, you consistently, without fail always sell Italy to me so well! I'm a little disappointed that due to my change of plans I won't be able to squeeze it in this time, but I know one day I will return to the wonderland that is Europe and will be the chance to explore it.

And PS; regarding my new tattoos, would you believe I still haven't got a good photo of them? I will aim to have it done before Laney returns (hehe).

All of my love to you all! <3

trevor

Member

Re: Hi guys, it's me, Elsa

Elsa, I love you back.  You bring life and light to this forum.  The friends around you have great good fortune.

Last edited by trevor (August 7th, 2015 06:24 PM)

trevor

Member

Re: Hi guys, it's me, Elsa

Elsa, where art thou?  Back in Melbourne yet?  An update on thy life would be appreciated.  I hope this finds thee and that thou art very well, happy and content.

Elsa_H

Member

Re: Hi guys, it's me, Elsa

Bonjour, Trevor (and anyone else reading this),

I am currently in Paris, sipping gin (I know it should really be wine but I ran out and am too lazy to fetch some more) and trying to decide what to do with the evening. It is my last night in Paris - it's a terribly beautiful city but I quite often find myself overwhelmed by the sheer size and busyness of it. It has increased my appreciation of the home I have in Melbourne though, which is the beauty of travel. I have been here a week and managed to visit the Louvre, The Catacombs, Pére Lechaise (paying my respects to Oscar Wilde and Jim Morrison), La Marais, and plenty of bars and markets and bakeries. I ate so much cheese in my first 48 hours here I haven't been able to touch it again until today. It's all been very wonderful. Tomorrow my friend and I collect our car and will drive to Nantes and then from there I am not sure! I am very happy and content, albeit slightly hungover. I hope you are also well, Trevor, and enjoying this beautiful European autumn! x x x

trevor

Member

Re: Hi guys, it's me, Elsa

Elsa, I'm delighted to find that you have been enjoying one of my favourite cities, Paris.  I'm sure you'll enjoy Nantes, too, though it's not a city I know.  If you have time, you should continue on down to Bordeaux, one of the most livable cities in Europe.  I think you'll love the scale of the city.  Regardless, send us a report from time to time.  We've missed you.

We are indeed enjoying a beautiful autumn in Rome after a rather dreadfully hot summer that crept too far into autumn.

With love from Rome.

Last edited by trevor (October 12th, 2015 04:12 PM)

trevor

Member

Re: Hi guys, it's me, Elsa

Elsa, it really is you and we guys are happy to have you back in sight.  Your new folio is splendid.  And, I should mention that our dinner tonight in your honour was all seasonal winter vegetables and a delicious biodynamic wine.  Cheers and kisses from Rome

Elsa_H

Member

Re: Hi guys, it's me, Elsa

Trevor! Seasonal vegetables! Biodynamic wine! Two (or three, rather) of my favourite things. I trust that the vegetables were local and the wine was red. It's lovely to be back - I think one of the best parts of travel is returning home with a fresh love for your city and a new way of seeing it. Even the first time I went to Europe and returned to a town that never had a place in my heart, I found I appreciated it. But now, I have a new found respect and love for Melbourne fashion and the relaxed vibe we have here, as well so many other things I could never find time to list. I've also returned to the beginning of summer, so it's hot and sunny but not too hot and sunny, with the added perks of daylight savings. A quick summary of my trip - we altered our plans at the last minute and instead of driving through France and only France, we drove from Paris, close to Bordeaux (we didn't make it to Bordeaux as our time there was spent in a Chateau in the country. What a time that was). I then proceeded, with my friend as navigator, to drive us back north through France, to Belgium, where we stayed in Bruges, which was amazing. I would very much like to go back and spend more time exploring Belgium. From there we drove to Berlin, where I promptly fell in love. Melbourne is the first city I have ever truly felt at home and my heart lies here, but Berlin is the first city I've been to since moving here that I could see myself living. We spent two weeks there visiting friends and making more beautiful ones and by the end of it I felt like I'd been there two years. It was an emotional goodbye that felt disproportionate to the amount of time spent there. I would love to go back for a European summer - I could tell how even more amazing Berlin would be in the summer (as well as the rest of Europe). It was an amazing time away. I also left feeling quite proud of the fact that I drove on the opposite side of the road through four countries in Europe (we had a very brief few hours navigating our way into and out of the Netherlands).

trevor

Member

Re: Hi guys, it's me, Elsa

Elsa, what a joyous report of the last part of your Grand Tour of Europe.  I'm glad you see your own country in a new and appreciative light and I'm of course happy that you know you must return to Europe to further your explorations here.  I'm not surprised you loved Berlin.  It's on my list of cities to visit in the near future and to relocate permentently; I'm sorry to say I haven't yet visited myself but many friends of mine believe it to be the leading international city for culture, now ahead of New York, London and Paris (my brother who lives in Tokyo might dispute this at least with regard to Asia).  Friends also note that it is also among the most livable and affordable because of government policies governing rent and public transporation.  That said, given the geopolitical problems in Russia, Central Asia, the Middleast and Africa that are impacting Europe, sometimes we feel escapist and think we should consider Melbourne or Tasmania.

But back to the subject of your trip, I'm glad you saw Brugge (Bruges).  Did you take a boat ride through the canals?  Did you have time to visit the Hans Memling Museum?  I like his paintings very much and I'm guessing you do too---or would if you knew any of them.  Did you have steamed mussels?  Chocolates? The food is so very good in Belgium (if not as healthful as in Italy).  I'm particularly glad that you managed successfully to drive on the right side of the road.  The first day I drove my newly acquired used automobile in Auckland, I scraped the side of the car next to me on my left.  Fortunately, he was stopped at a light and I was barely moving.  Well, dearest Elsa, do keep in touch with your European friends, new and old alike, and return to our continent again soon.  Meanwhile, I'll keep eating and drinking the good local, organic and biodynamic food and wine for you here in Italy, while you do the same in Melbourne.  Much happiness to you (including good sex with mutual respect and admiration and silliness and jolliness).  You are a mischievous angel.