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ELLIOT_B 

ARTISTS STATEMENT
After deciding to do the shoot and borrowing a good camera from a friend, I really procrastinated from taking my photos. I was nervous about not looking pretty enough, and about looking too masculine, or butch. But after I got into the swing of things I really started to feel my comfortable, and will be treating myself to a new camera ASAP! I wanted this experience to be an act of self-love and devotion, and it absolutely was. I've struggled with gender dysphoria, so at times my my own self-image is in stark contrast with my actual body. I felt I really connected with the confident, exhibitionist side of myself in my outdoor haircut shoot. Using a mirror in the background really helped - it was so fascinating to see parts of my body reflected back in the mirror in the background. It made me see my body from a new perspective, seeing how I might appear to others. I've always felt conflicted about my breasts - sometimes I wish I didn't have them - but there's one shot where the soap highlighted the hairs on my breast and the blue sky is above me, and I thought I looked really beautiful. You can see how happy I look with my new cut at the end! Such a happy dork! One of the fun highlights was peeing in front of the camera! I've always been able to pee standing up, and taught myself as a kid, it was really fun to be able to share that.

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ARTIST PROFILE
birthplace: Melbourne, Australia
occupation: Environmental Scientist
age: 33
height: 158cm
relationship status: Poly and in love
starsign: Scorpio
biggest passion in my life: The environment. From a young age I have always been concerned about the destruction humans wreak on it, and have dedicated my life's mission to protecting it through science
I like to listen to: All the 90's Australian and American folk music my Dad made me listen to as a kid. My Friend the Chocolate Cake, The Waifs, Archie Roach, Tiddas
I like to watch: My favourite genre of film and tele is Sci Fi and Fantasy. Some of my favourites include Ragnarok, Stranger Things, and The Fifth Element
I like to smell: I love the smell of garden roses when walking through my suburban neighbourhood
I like to taste: My favourite flavour has to be chocolate, in any form, but preferably warm and gooey, like in a home-made cake
I like to feel: I'm a very tactile person, and can't live without the feeling of another person's skin brushing against mine
favourite part of my body: My forearms and shoulders
favourite part of someone else's body: Breasts... I could bury myself in my lovers' breasts forever
Why i shot myself: Lately I've been exploring my gender expression and sexuality, which is why I chose to shoot for I Shot Myself. It's amazing how my objective view from the camera lens can sometimes differ so radically from my own internal self-image of myself. It sounds corny, but I just wanted to give myself a bit of self-love and attention.
who I'd least like to see shoot themselves: My Mum or my boss
who I'd most like to see shoot themselves: My partner...I can't wait until her shoot is up!
my website/fav website: https://onlyfans.com/u20016344
Most outrageous thing I have done: I've done a lot of outrageous things, but I did get naked while out running by the river, and almost got caught mid-pee with only my socks and shoes on
Bands I like: Bill Calahan, The Waifs, Be Good Tanyas, Tiddas
Books I like: My favourite genre of books are fantasy, self-help, or scientific books. Some favourites include Traumata, The Body Keeps Score, Digital Minimalism, Theory of Computing, Flora of Melbourne and the Obernewtyn Chronicles
Films I like: I love most sci-fi and post-apocalypse films as well as documentaries. I really enjoyed the political metaphors in Cargo. Train to Busan had me on the edge of my seat, and the documentary Gasland was really important viewing

this artist also contributed to beautiful agony
Elliot_B is Agony contributor A4940