#1 June 26th, 2005 02:53 AM

liandra_dahl

Member

Dreaming

After reading that my featuring in ReneeM's dream caused her to join the site, I though a bit about dreams. I remember my dreams vividly after almost every nights sleep. I have had some dreams that told a story from beginning to end. I call them my 'movie dreams'. The first of these when I was twelve featured a prince who was disposed from his rightful thrown, became a highway man, robbing and murdering men who swore allegience to the new king, then gathered a group of rebels who built and lived in tunnels under the city, and finally won back his rightful heritage in a gruesome fight to the death.

I also once dreamt that I stood on the end of a pier, the sky was totally clear and blue, when storm clouds came over (like on weather documentaries when they speed the film up), and out of the clouds came the face of god, who merely said "YOU". In my mind during my dream I believed he was telling me not to get back together with my boyfriend.

I'm not even going to get into erotic dreams...

Sometimes I enjoy my dreams so much I don't want to wake up. Also, I am often aware in my dreams that I am dreaming. Is that wierd? Does anyone else get that? Tell me your dreams? The good, the bad, and the just plain ridiculous, I'm fascinated. Is dreaming just white noise? Any dream experts on this site?

milestones

Member

Re: Dreaming

I dreamt once that my recently deceased brother was still alive and that his death had itself been a dream, I subverted reality and when I woke, in a minute, I went from immense relief to the most profound sense of loss I have ever experienced. Like some heavy creature sat on my chest and ripped my heart out. Sorry, a bit sad I know but I just wanted to express the power of the experience and that, unlike Liandra, I wasn't aware that the dream was a dream. It's funny the things you feel compelled to post on a website full of strangers! Ah, to be human :-)

---

Television, drug of the nation, breeding ignorance and bleeding radiation.

Belgareth

Member

Re: Dreaming

After reading that my featuring in ReneeM's dream caused her to join the site, I though a bit about dreams. I remember my dreams vividly after almost every nights sleep. I have had some dreams that told a story from beginning to end. I call them my 'movie dreams'. The first of these when I was twelve featured a prince who was disposed from his rightful thrown, became a highway man, robbing and murdering men who swore allegience to the new king, then gathered a group of rebels who built and lived in tunnels under the city, and finally won back his rightful heritage in a gruesome fight to the death.

I also once dreamt that I stood on the end of a pier, the sky was totally clear and blue, when storm clouds came over (like on weather documentaries when they speed the film up), and out of the clouds came the face of god, who merely said "YOU". In my mind during my dream I believed he was telling me not to get back together with my boyfriend.

I'm not even going to get into erotic dreams...

Sometimes I enjoy my dreams so much I don't want to wake up. Also, I am often aware in my dreams that I am dreaming. Is that wierd? Does anyone else get that? Tell me your dreams? The good, the bad, and the just plain ridiculous, I'm fascinated. Is dreaming just white noise? Any dream experts on this site?

You have raised a subject which has alternately frightened, confounded, interested and just downright facinated me.

As a child I used to suffer horrendous nightmares (I know that's almost a tautology), yet I can only remember that they occurred but none of the content. When I was 15 I contracted nephritis, which caused me to hallucinate. These daytime hallucinations became manifest in my dreams during the illness and one dream/hallicination predominated. Since then I have had this same dream on numerous occations, almost as if became embedded in my subconscious. It involves three people, two female and one male, whom I have never met in waking life and who bear no resemblance to any persons I have ever know. The dream always starts with the four of us in a dark, disused building, the nature of which I cannot determine. The three people I can see are in various states of undress but I don't know what I am wearing at this point. There is a vague feeling of some sexual activity around but there is nothing to physically qualify this feeling. I am sitting in one corner of a room and I know that there is a door to my left and one directly opposite me. I can see the whole room and the people in it but I cannot see any part of myself. One of the females approaches me an I can sense, almost smell, that she is in heat (Yes, I know that sounds weird) and as she get nearer I can feel the stirring inside me which tells me that I am attracted to her. I also sense that the others in the room do not like the development and the closer she gets, the more agitated they become. When she is almost within touching  distance my sense of arousal and my sense of discomfort are increasing at the same rate. As she bends down, clearly with the intention of kissing me, the two others become terrifying presences and I get an overwhelming desire to flee through the door to my left. Once I start running, hold the interest female's hand, I know that the other two are going to catch up with me and no matter how fast I go, they are always just behind me. Finally I burst out of a tunnel entrance into brilliant sunlight onto a beautiful, isolated beach, still holding on the female's hand. The sense of fear disappears immediately and. as the two of us hold each other, I wake up.

This dearn NEVER changes, which is why I can describe it so well but the meaning of it, or why it has stuck with me for some many years, I cannot fathom. I have no fear of other people, nor of difficult situations, nor of sexual associations. It has me stumped.

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Belgareth

Member

Re: Dreaming

I dreamt once that my recently deceased brother was still alive and that his death had itself been a dream, I subverted reality and when I woke, in a minute, I went from immense relief to the most profound sense of loss I have ever experienced. Like some heavy creature sat on my chest and ripped my heart out. Sorry, a bit sad I know but I just wanted to express the power of the experience and that, unlike Liandra, I wasn't aware that the dream was a dream. It's funny the things you feel compelled to post on a website full of strangers! Ah, to be human :-)

I think that this experience is a way for us to grieve. I lost both of my parents, almost at the same time, in my late twenties. I had almost the same type of dreams and definitely the same heart-rendering sense of loss on waking.

As for posting to a web site full of strangers - on that basis we are all bitten by the same bug!

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SCSIgirl

Member

Re: Dreaming

After reading that my featuring in ReneeM's dream caused her to join >>>  snipped for brevity  <<<
Sometimes I enjoy my dreams so much I don't want to wake up. Also, I am often aware in my dreams that I am dreaming. Is that wierd? Does anyone else get that? Tell me your dreams? The good, the bad, and the just plain ridiculous, I'm fascinated. Is dreaming just white noise? Any dream experts on this site?

I'll lurk for most of this discussion for I rarely dream  (or I rarely remember them).  The very few I have are totally nonsensical and pointless.  For example,  one I rememeber is a group of construction salmon,  complete with hard hats and tool belts,  using their hammers to build a new fishing pier.  Figure that one out!!!  (No, I don't watch cartoons).

Although I do remember a very brief,  but intensely realistic dream,  where I kissed by scuzzy girl.  That one woke me up!!

---

"Apple of my Eye", "bated breath", "brave new world", "caught red-handed" - all coined by Shakespeare.

obsidian01

Member

Re: Dreaming

Think about consciousness. What is it like to think, to be yourself, from minute to minute? Every instant we are here, awake, we're soaked under the constant objective realities of the world, as if we were walking through a rainstorm. But even then, we are still ourselves, not so different than we are in dreams, meandering through the fields, detouring farther and farther the moment nothing around us demands too much, staring out the passenger side window of the car into the unrolling blur, daydreaming...

What happens when we finally close our eyes and drift off? I always thought there was something something bizarre and profound in losing our self-awareness every night, night after night. We wander around after the rain stops and look at rainbows. We float and fly, released from gravity... although, we also feel powerlessness, awe, mystery, terror... When you look off the pier into the sky and don't know what will appear next, you actually experience yourself the same way you experience the world. It's that paradox again: that we are in control of ourselves, and yet we are not.

What sparks my imagination is that dreams are not exclusive to sleep. Aboriginal vision quests and long sessions here at the keyboard have the same effect that I recognize from drugs... reducing or curtailing the functioning of the brain. Fuzzing out the world of the senses. Letting us dream awake. Sex, and in particular, orgasm, curtail "thought"... The orgasm is literally the "little death." Yet ironically all these things are sometimes held to _increase_ awareness and/or self-awareness.

This last effect is interestingly coincident with some religious beliefs. Take an Asian and aboriginal religion such as Buddism, which holds (vaguely) that when thought is eliminated, and we achieve emptiness, a state of supreme enlightenment and transcendence is reached. Suggestive, confusing...

So, dreaming. I sat today watching a cat curled up next to me on the desk, her little paws running in some dream field, chasing some imaginary little thing... Echoes. Our whole way of thinking seems like waves on the ocean, just then, awake or asleep, always moving...

I have a great awe about my dreams. I've run my hands along alien scripts written on stone obelisks in forests that had once been courtyards, gardens... whole worlds seem to flow improvised, incandescent under my eyes. It makes me realize our way of understanding the world works like this, filling in an ocean of meaning underneath each sight, each sound...

reneeM

Member

Re: Dreaming

I just read that birds dream.

Remember in "2010" Hal asked Dr Chandra, "Will I dream?"

A dream got me here, I don't know how. Dickens' Scrooge thought the Ghost of Christmas Past was"...a piece of undigested meat..." How wrong he was.

Freud thought some dreams were unfulfilled wishes; others he thought were attempts at mastery of trauma.

Fritz Pearls thought dreams were composed of personality fragments. True to his thinking, I once asked a patient about her dreams. She replied " I dreamed I was in a car, driving down a road." I asked her to "be" the road and to describe herself as road. She replied "I'm long, and narrow, and I get run over a lot." Which was exactly right.

If Liandra Dahl is part of me, then the part of her I see is part of who I am.

I am flattered too.

reneeM

Member

Re: Dreaming

Freud is correctly spelled "Freud"

Sorry

voyeur2

Member

Re: Dreaming

I just read that birds dream.

Remember in "2010" Hal asked Dr Chandra, "Will I dream?"

Fritz Pearls thought dreams were composed of personality fragments. True to his thinking, I once asked a patient about her dreams. She replied " I dreamed I was in a car, driving down a road." I asked her to "be" the road and to describe herself as road. She replied "I'm long, and narrow, and I get run over a lot." Which was exactly right.

If Liandra Dahl is part of me, then the part of her I see is part of who I am.

I am flattered too.

I have watched my dog dream.  His feet twitch and he makes little yips.  Weather he is chasing or being chased?  I prefer to believe he is happily chasing something.

My dreams sometimes have me find out I am naked. This one goes way back to childhood.  When I was a child -n the dream I would become anxious to go home.  Now - it seems I just carry on as if nothing is wrong.  I hope it means that now I am cool about what made me anxious before.

I can hardly wait to begin dreaming about Liandra or Zille.  Their minds are deep and delicious.

---

Have I ever lied to you before?

liandra_dahl

Member

Re: Dreaming

I dreamt once that my recently deceased brother was still alive and that his death had itself been a dream, I subverted reality and when I woke, in a minute, I went from immense relief to the most profound sense of loss I have ever experienced. Like some heavy creature sat on my chest and ripped my heart out. Sorry, a bit sad I know but I just wanted to express the power of the experience and that, unlike Liandra, I wasn't aware that the dream was a dream. It's funny the things you feel compelled to post on a website full of strangers! Ah, to be human :-)

My brother died when I was seventeen and I experienced exactly the same thing. It was like experiencing his death afresh with every new day. There were a few moments every morning after I awoke that I believed he was still in the room next door, then the world would come crashing down again. I still dream about James now, but I after eight years I have accepted his death in every level of my consciousness. I have flown with him in an aeroplane made of glass at tremendous velocity; I've sailed with him; shot rubber bullets at pursuing enemies with him; been chased by enraged horses with him; played in parks with him; introduced him to my daughter. Two nights ago I had a great big mexican dinner with him and we were shotting tequila like it was lolly water. I love it, I love what dreams can give you.

liandra_dahl

Member

Re: Dreaming

I have a great awe about my dreams. I've run my hands along alien scripts written on stone obelisks in forests that had once been courtyards, gardens... whole worlds seem to flow improvised, incandescent under my eyes. It makes me realize our way of understanding the world works like this, filling in an ocean of meaning underneath each sight, each sound...

This makes me want to go to sleep/ dream right now.

reneeM

Member

Re: Dreaming

I want to be in your next dream

milestones

Member

Re: Dreaming

My brother died when I was seventeen and I experienced exactly the same thing. It was like experiencing his death afresh with every new day. There were a few moments every morning after I awoke that I believed he was still in the room next door, then the world would come crashing down again. I still dream about James now, but I after eight years I have accepted his death in every level of my consciousness. I have flown with him in an aeroplane made of glass at tremendous velocity; I've sailed with him; shot rubber bullets at pursuing enemies with him; been chased by enraged horses with him; played in parks with him; introduced him to my daughter. Two nights ago I had a great big mexican dinner with him and we were shotting tequila like it was lolly water. I love it, I love what dreams can give you.

I'm so sorry Liandra, strangely enough my brother died eight years ago as well...I think subconsiously I still struggle with it a little. Do you have other siblings? Your descriptions of your dreams with James are beautiful :-) Love the fact that you fired 'rubber' bullets and not real ones! He lives on in what sounds like a very exciting universe...your head.

---

Television, drug of the nation, breeding ignorance and bleeding radiation.

voyeur2

Member

Re: Dreaming

I'm so sorry Liandra, strangely enough my brother died eight years ago as well...I think subconsiously I still struggle with it a little. Do you have other siblings? Your descriptions of your dreams with James are beautiful :-) Love the fact that you fired 'rubber' bullets and not real ones! He lives on in what sounds like a very exciting universe...your head.

Strange you both sould mention that.  When my mother died about seven years ago there was quite a long time when I would catch myself seeing or doing some mundane thing and commenting to myself that "I should tell mom about this one" before remembering again she was dead.  And feeling grief again.
Two nights ago I had a dream - the first in at least four years where I said a sort of goodbye to them.
This was perhaps triggered by some psycho work I was doing a few weeks ago when I wrote them a letter of farewell.

I feel the dream may bring a more complete closure.

---

Have I ever lied to you before?

liandra_dahl

Member

Re: Dreaming

I'm so sorry Liandra, strangely enough my brother died eight years ago as well...I think subconsiously I still struggle with it a little. Do you have other siblings? Your descriptions of your dreams with James are beautiful :-) Love the fact that you fired 'rubber' bullets and not real ones! He lives on in what sounds like a very exciting universe...your head.

Eight years isn't so very long, I am not surprised you still have a subconsious struggle with accepting his death. I don't think the grief of loosing someone ever stops, it just becomes a part of you and with its familiarity it becomes easier to bear. However I am grateful that for just under a third of my life I get to have some fantastical reunions with him.

Rubber bullets are part of a motif in my dreaming life. Whenever I have a dream where I am compelled to be violent, I am always violent in a completely ineffectual way..i.e. rubber bullets when I have a gun, boneless arms when I'm in a fight. SOmetimes it's very comical but on others it's incredibly frustrating.

I think I have been exceedingly lucky that my brain generates all these adventures for myself and my brother. I know that my sister is envious. If I knew how I did it I would willing share the secret.

liandra_dahl

Member

Re: Dreaming

I want to be in your next dream

The likelihood of that happening would greatly increase if you posted an ISM folio...

milestones

Member

Re: Dreaming

Eight years isn't so very long, I am not surprised you still have a subconsious struggle with accepting his death. I don't think the grief of loosing someone ever stops, it just becomes a part of you and with its familiarity it becomes easier to bear. However I am grateful that for just under a third of my life I get to have some fantastical reunions with him.

Rubber bullets are part of a motif in my dreaming life. Whenever I have a dream where I am compelled to be violent, I am always violent in a completely ineffectual way..i.e. rubber bullets when I have a gun, boneless arms when I'm in a fight. SOmetimes it's very comical but on others it's incredibly frustrating.

I think I have been exceedingly lucky that my brain generates all these adventures for myself and my brother. I know that my sister is envious. If I knew how I did it I would willing share the secret.

You're so right...it doesn't stop, it just becoms part of the fabric of you. I felt like it was a total siesmic shift...there was the me before and the me after, the difference was eventually subtle but to me I'm a different person...anger, loss, confusion, fear...all postitive and negative at the same time. Guess that's life, we evolve and are moulded by experience but sometimes that experience sends you off in a new direction for better or for worse (my ability to describe what I mean goes flying out the window) ...does that make sense?

Anyhoo...I'm guessing you're the ultimate pacifist...as am I...although I've seen rubber bullets do nasty things...I always imagine being violent in a very camp, English way...flappy and sort of half-hearted and then stopping for a fag and a chat half way through!

Peace and Lurve,

Miles

---

Television, drug of the nation, breeding ignorance and bleeding radiation.

reneeM

Member

Re: Dreaming

Eight years isn't so very long, I am not surprised you still have a subconsious struggle with accepting his death. I don't think the grief of loosing someone ever stops, it just becomes a part of you and with its familiarity it becomes easier to bear. However I am grateful that for just under a third of my life I get to have some fantastical reunions with him.

Rubber bullets are part of a motif in my dreaming life. Whenever I have a dream where I am compelled to be violent, I am always violent in a completely ineffectual way..i.e. rubber bullets when I have a gun, boneless arms when I'm in a fight. SOmetimes it's very comical but on others it's incredibly frustrating.

I think I have been exceedingly lucky that my brain generates all these adventures for myself and my brother. I know that my sister is envious. If I knew how I did it I would willing share the secret.

I'm so sorry for all our losses here.

Your gift is extraordinary. I lost my sister 10 years ago, and my mother a year ago.They both show up from time to time and I know they are fine.

reneeM

Member

Re: Dreaming

The likelihood of that happening would greatly increase if you posted an ISM folio...

...Hmmmm...

voyeur2

Member

Re: Dreaming

...Hmmmm...

C'mon, do it.  Your mind has gotta produce something really inneresting.  So PLEASE, I am intrigued.  Pretty please?

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Have I ever lied to you before?

reneeM

Member

Re: Dreaming

C'mon, do it.  Your mind has gotta produce something really inneresting.  So PLEASE, I am intrigued.  Pretty please?

V2, you are begging!

I am going to vacation in the wilderness for the next two weeks, and, alas, I will be away from this wonderful place for a while. While away, I will develop some thoughts on the idea. I will also think about what my sexuality is saying to me now, and will certainly share those thoughts with you upon my return if you are interested.

enid

Member

Re: Dreaming

My favourite dreams are about zombies.  Particularly when I'm fighting zombies and protecting big tough men as they cower in corners.

Zombies are so great!

liandra_dahl

Member

Re: Dreaming

My favourite dreams are about zombies.  Particularly when I'm fighting zombies and protecting big tough men as they cower in corners.

Zombies are so great!

When I was pregnant I had the same sort of dream every night for the last few months. I was "liandra" the vampire slayer, saving the world with her amazing graceful agility and strength from vampires and miscellaneous monsters alike. It was lots of fun! I think my unconscious was compensating for the ever increasing difficult I was having maneuvering myself, and the ungraceful way I waddled.

voyeur2

Member

Re: Dreaming

V2, you are begging!

I am going to vacation in the wilderness for the next two weeks, and, alas, I will be away from this wonderful place for a while. While away, I will develop some thoughts on the idea. I will also think about what my sexuality is saying to me now, and will certainly share those thoughts with you upon my return if you are interested.

I am always interested in people's thoughts about their sexuality, their personae.  Especially when they have been reflected upon and presented in a fearless way - sort of like the pics in theis forum.

So - yes, or no, and why the choice, how the decision was made what factors influenced the decisions.

And I was not actually begging!

I thought it was more like pleading very seriously while kneeling on the keyboard and bowing towards the monitor, all the while chanting and burning candles mounted on the side speakers.  At midnight.

I got me pride aint I. 
Real men don't beg.

---

Have I ever lied to you before?

Head

Member

Re: Dreaming

When I was pregnant I had the same sort of dream every night for the last few months. I was "liandra" the vampire slayer, saving the world with her amazing graceful agility and strength from vampires and miscellaneous monsters alike. It was lots of fun! I think my unconscious was compensating for the ever increasing difficult I was having maneuvering myself, and the ungraceful way I waddled.

It's a rendering of your subconscious hope that your child will be a saviour, specifically to balance out some wrongs you (perceive you might) have perpetrated.  Mary syndrome.